Via Prague

I like the trams in Prague ... the city's really beautiful, even in winter when the snow turns to slush and there's a heavy grey atmosphere over the city. After I left Wolfgang's I went over to Shakespeare and Sons, a cafe down the street which has free Internet, and checked email. There was nothing from home, just one from this guy I knew in China. Afterward, I took the tram through Vršovice and on out to the Pension Florida. Actually it wasn't a bad afternoon ... the sun had come out and cleared the streets of snow, and in front of the potraviny's fruit and vegetable stands gave off a hint of vitality, yeah it was nice.
Maria was alseep in the living room when I got back to the Pension Florida. The cats were all curled up into a large ball and asleep at the foot of the couch. Maria sleeps a lot these days. Her blood pressure or blood sugar levels are bad, she has this machine that keeps track and I don't know much about it but the number reads like '17,' which is not good when you consider that if the number reaches '22' you're in a coma. I think Maria should go to the doctor but she doesn't want to -- the doctor will just tell her she has to stay in the hospital. I think she'd rather die at home, if and when that happens. She used to be a nurse, for like 40 years, so she knows how to take care of herself, the problem is she's getting to the point where soon she won't be able to take care of herself.
Yeah, her heart problem is hereditary, she says, but she really didn't have a problem until she got married to this crazy Algerian guy a few years ago. I was getting ready to leave for China then so I didn't really follow what was going on, but this guy he was real young and handsome, a sharp dresser, and he was a guest at the Pension Florida and when Maria saw him she was like, 'Oooo! SUPER-DEESCO! We make Super-Deesco!' And this guy just charmed her and they made lots of Super Disco. Ha! Ha! Lots of it! Yeah, they got married, even though Maria was like 40 years older than the Algerian. As soon as they got married, he started asking her for money. She gave him like thousands and thousands of crowns and one day he just disappeared. These days he's a little bit better, he comes around sometimes and checks on Maria, brings a little food by. I don't really talk to him that much but he doesn't really speak English, not much.
Anyway, the living room is a mess as always, cat hair everywhere and cat shit and piss on the carpet. The kitchen looks like someone put about fifty gremlins into a blender and splattered their remains all over. Dishes caked with three-day-old sauce are piled in the sink, a product of the guests who are supposed to clean up after themselves, and the washing machine door is open, revealing a pair of trousers that have been reposing in a half inch of water for at least a week, and have begun to accumulate mold. They might have belonged to one of the Ukraine guys ejected by the police last week. Ha ha! Ah, moldy Ukrainian trousers! Whoo-hoo! Got to love it.
There isn't any soap, it's all finished, so I took a brush and scrubbed most of the dishes clean and then stuck the moldy trousers in a plastic bag and put it out by the trash bin. Maria was still asleep so I went upstairs to my room. I haven't really described the Pension Florida properly, but really there's not much to say. I mean it was always a little run down, but back in the day, 10 years ago Maria was able to keep it up, put a little money into the place. Like I said, it's a three-story old house, I guess it was built in the 1920s during the art deco craze, the house has a certain decadent flair. Outside from the street, two enormous bay trees stand at the front gate, shrouding the house even now in a certain mystery, yeah man it's pretty cool.
My room is on the second floor. Right now I'm sharing it with this guy from Canada, Mac. Mac is like 50 years old, and worked as a cab driver in Vancouver, then one day, just a few weeks ago, just decided to quit his job and come to Prague. That's cool and all ... I mean he says he was here in 1991, back in the real days after the Revolution, and he's always talking about it, and about Bulgaria and how that's the place to BE now. I like him sometimes, Mac, but he drinks too much and then he gets annoying. The other night we were at the Zaba, this bar in Vršovice and I introduced him to Jake and it was all right at first, but we'd been drinking and suddenly out of nowhere Mac starts berating Jake, saying 'You're country is zero, nothing, shit!' and all this stuff (although Jake has been known to be like that too when he's been drinking as you'll see). Ha! Ha! Ha! Prague. It's full of crazies and drunks. Crazies and Drunks.
Anyway, that guy Mac has been sharing my room and when I got there the door was open, which was annoying. People in this house have been known to steal, and I keep my computer in the room. Mac says he needs it open for fresh air. All he does is sleep all day. He says he's got this bad toothache, it's killing him and all he can do is sleep. I offered to take him to the doctor but he says he can't move. Then I offered to give him some codine and he refused that and said he just needs a little vodka, so he gets drunk and passes out. I wouldn't mind so much except for him leaving the door open. Mac says, 'Don't worry, anyone comes in here, I'll kick their ass!' I'm like, 'You? You can't even get out of bed! How you going to kick anyone's ass?' I mean, the guy hasn't even paid me any money for rent, and he's been here like two weeks ... well, hopefully I can rid of him soon. The room stinks of his old socks, which he hasn't changed in like three days. I couldn't stand the smell, so I decided to get out.
Downstairs Maria was awake. I could hear the television. She was watching the news. There was a story about the wildfires in Australia, and and a local story about a Czech mother who'd dropped off her baby at one of the baby boxes last month but has now changed her mind and wants the baby back.
'No, stupid bitch!' I said to the TV.
'Strašny,' said Maria. 'Strašny' means 'horrible.' We were watching the story about the baby.
'You go to the center tonight?' Maria asked, in Czech.
'Ano,' I said.
'To sell marijuana?'
'Yes, Maria.'
'Ah, Grub! Je strašny! You will have problems with the police.'
I told her I'd be careful, smart about everything. What else could I say? Maria knows, she understands, but she just says all that to say something. She doesn't really give a shit. Like when she says, 'I think you should go back to America,' which she's said many times, but as I said before, why would I do that? I don't like America.
I sat with Maria for a while though until the news was over, then grabbed the remote and switched to Sky Sports to see if any good matches were on. The only thing on was English League football, Newcastle versus Blackburn, which isn't exactly an exciting match. English football isn't my cup of tea anyway. I prefer American football. My team is the Cleveland Browns even though we SUCK -- ha! ha! ha!
Maria wanted to make me some coffee since it's cold out but I told her to rest. I don't really like coffee anyway. Besides down the street there's this place that sells pizza by the slice really cheap and that's a lot better than Maria's coffee. Like a lot of old Czechs, she likes to serve the coffee with the grains in it. Nasty! You get them all stuck in your teeth. I guess during Communism filter coffee wasn't available, so they all drank it that way -- it's called turetsko, or Turkish style. Turetsko! Communist coffee! Yeah! Woo-hoo!
Anyway, I also wanted to get out in a hurry before that guy Mac woke up. Otherwise he'd want to know where I was going and want to come. It's funny, all day long the guy says he can't move he's in such great pain, but when it's night and time for the bars he's suddenly on his feet and healthy as a buck. Not tonight. I don't feel like dragging his Canadian ass around. He owes me money anyway, I need to make some money.
There was a tram coming so I got that and headed back to the center. I couldn't sell at Chapeau anymore, or at least not openly maybe outside in the street, but there was also the Roxy. It was Monday night and on Mondays there's always a good crowd because there's something different each week and the drinks aren't too expensive. On the tram I got a text from Jake and asked if I was coming to Zaba. He was there with some Czech friends. I wrote no because I needed to try to make some money. It's no use trying to sell at the bars in Vršovice. In some of the bars there you can just go in and buy weed right at the bar from the bartender. No, got to go to the center, that's where it's at. The center! Whoo-hoo! Sell some weed!

Posted by James Tressler at 01:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (1169)

3

Wolfgang was in one of his moods. His 'Wolfgang' moods ... yeah ... What is a 'Wolfgang' mood? It's like this ... he'll send you a text saying 'Drop by man,' 'cuz he needs this or that, a gram usually. But then when you get there, if someone else is there, someone who's helping him with the business, or some chick he met, or if he just got some bad news, he'll treat you like you're a leech coming to bum off him again and give you the rush. Then later, he'll send you another text saying sorry, man I was just busy come on over ...
When I got there this afternoon I figured he needed a gram. He always keeps the outside doors locked, but you can see inside even though the doors are tinted glass. I forgot to tell you about the bar. Directly inside where the old lobby used to be Wolfgang constructed a bar and installed a few tables and a flat television screen on the wall for movies. The main screening room is down a wide set of stairs.
When I looked in he was cleaning up an there was this guy, a barman from the Blind Eye, sitting at one of the tables and Wolfgang is pretending he doesn't see me, ha! ha! It was cool ... I had my big headphones on and some Doors playing so I just stood in the foyer singing along with Jim Morrison 'Waiting For the Sun' real loud and waited while inside I could see Wolfgang annoyed and probably pretending he doesn't know me ha ha! Woo-hoo! 'Waiting for the sun! Waiting for the sun! Waiting for the sun! Waiting for you to -- come along! Waiting for you to -- hear my song!'
Jake was there too, sitting at Wolfgang's lap top, but he didn't look up. The guy from the Blind Eye knows me; a few weeks ago I was there (it's this bar in ŽIžkov that's popular with foreigners) trying to get rid of a couple of grams and this guy, Jeff, comes around from the bar and tells me to leave. 'Sorry, I like you and all,' Jeff says, 'But this is not an opium bar.' Right! As if he hasn't bought a few grams off me himself ha ha! It's the same with Wolfgang, and with a lot of people. When they want their weed you're their man, they're all like, 'What' up?' but any other time and they act like you're a criminal! Judging from their body language, I figured that Jeff was telling Wolfgang about what happened at the Blind Eye, my having to leave, and Wolfgang was probably telling him some shit about me. Oh well, that's the way it goes. Yeah! That's the way it goes, woo-hoo! "WAITING FOR THE SUN, WAITING FOR THE SUN, WAITING FOR THE SUN!' Just to irritate everybody, I began belting out as loud as I could.
After a few minutes, Wolfgang finally turned and saw me (I'd already knocked like three times) and he unlocked the door and let me in. He let me in out of embarrassment probably ha! ha!
Jeff said 'What's up?' and Jake asked how it was going. Wolfgang, who'd gone to his back office called 'Grubs- come on back, man.' So I went back and he was getting a 200-crown note out of his wallet. 'Just one,' he said. I had it ready and slipped the note in my wallet. 'Right,' Wolfgang said. 'Thanks. Sorry no time today. Got a meetings this afternoon. We'll meet up in a couple days, eh?' He sort of patted me on the shoulder in a friendly guilty way. 'Thanks again. So you're back in business?'
'Yeah,' I said.
'Good to hear. So anyway, man. Sorry, but we've got this opening coming up end of the month, I've still got a lot of shit to get done.'
I asked if I could use the toilet 'cuz I really had to go and he said sure. While I was washing my hands I could hear Wolfgang and Jeff talking. Wolfgang's got this really low, discreet voice but I've got good hearing. You've got to in this business, you get used to keeping your signal on high. Jeff was telling Wolfgang about what happened at the Blind Eye and Wolfgang was saying yeah, he knew all about it 'cuz I'd also had other problems, like at the Czech Inn where Wolfgang was trying to establish a connection with the management so that they would recommend the Reincarnation to guests and how my getting thrown out there was making him look bad and how I was getting thrown out everywhere and so he couldn't afford to be associated with me. 'Is he your friend?' I heard Jeff ask. Wolfgang, I could picture him, probably gave one of his flat stares. Then he said something like, 'I met him through Aiden. You know how it is around here. Every foreigner gets to know every other foreigner.'
'Oh, he's a nice guy and all,' the guy Jeff said. 'I mean he's not bad, it's just ...'
Then they got quiet 'cuz Wolfgang probably signaled that I was still in the bathroom. Yeah, he's a real discreet kind of guy, considerate. It doesn't bother me. Like I said, that's Wolfgang. 'Waiting for the Sun' ended and 'Love Her Madly' came on. I started singing that one real loud as I dried my hands. It's nice to sing in bathrooms. Your voice has a great echo. Yeah! 'DON'T YOU LOVE HER MADLY? DON'T YOU LOVER HER AS SHE'S WALKING OUT THE DOOR?'
When I came out, Wolfgang was wiping off the tables in the bar. He flashed me this irritated look (ha! ha!) and Jeff was talking about the Pub Crawl business and how it was getting tough 'cuz now there are so many people offering Pub Crawls that there was too much competition. 'In the center the people passing out the fliers, one guy I know said he went up to a tourist and offered a Pub Crawl flier and the tourist was like,' Get away, I've had 20 people offer me fliers in the last 20 minutes.'
'It's getting really bad,' Jeff was saying. 'Like one guy will say about the other operators, 'Oh, don't go with him, he's a thief, or they'll steal your wallet ... real dirty stuff. It's ruining it for everybody.' And Wolfgang was listening because he's thinking about offering brewery tours as well.
'One of the groups is suing another,' Jeff was saying. 'They say it's trademark violation, the other group using the term 'Pub Crawl.'
Jake, who was still at the lap top, turned and wanted to know how that could happen. 'I mean, are they also going to trademark the word 'beer?' Jeff and Wolfgang were both at a loss as to how it could happen, the lawsuit. Anyway, they were deep in that discussion, or at least seemed to be and I could see they didn't, or at least Wolfgang didn't, want to talk to me so I said 'Cheers' and Wolfgang went to let me out.
Then Jake asked about the archeology job.
'It's snowing,' I said. And it was true. The girl had just texted me, saying work was postponed until it melted. Which makes sense.
'Right then, man.' Wolfgang tipped me a wink, almost pushing me out the door. 'Thanks again. See you soon.'
I remember back in the DAY when we worked in the bars together, Wolfgang and me, and when he came out and worked on the farm in Budejvice we were really tight. Yeah man! The Old Daze! Woo-hoo! But anyway that's Wolfgang. He has these moods. You just got to get used to them.
Well, there's the 200 from Wolfgang, plus 600 from this morning, one of the Russian guys at the Pension Florida bought 3 grams. It's supposed to be cold tonight, like minus 2, so maybe I'll stay in with Maria and her cats. She's got Sky Sports, and they'll have a replay of the Cavs-Lakers game. Yeah! Go Cavs! Lebron! Maria. She's funny, she doesn't understand basketball but she likes to just sit and look at the players. 'Oo-La-La!' she says. 'Such big black men! SUPER-DEESCO!' Ha Ha! Maria. She's really crazy.

Posted by James Tressler at 04:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (43)

2

... I'd really like to go back to China ... yeah, China! I lived there, in Shanghai, for about a year. With this Chinese girl. She was crazy. She used to cook all this crazy shit for me, wash my clothes. She was always cleaning when she was home. Yeah, the Chinese, they never stop working. My girlfriend she worked in a factory ... yeah, she worked her ass off.
I was a teacher ... ha! It was cool, all these Chinese kids. You shoulda seen the books we had, really cheap English books with nothing in them ... I used to try to use them in class, and the Chinese kids were like, 'Can we just watch a movie?' Yeah, ha ha! Movies, DVDs in China, they cost like $1 a piece. So that's all I did ... at home too, watch movies, play video games. Everything's cheap in China.
I came back to Prague ... I don't know ... I just wanted to come back. To Europe. I missed it. I had this girlfriend, down in Budejvice. I don't see her very much now. Last week I called and wanted to go down and see her and she said she was busy. I don't know ... it was all good, being back, until I lost my stuff. You can't get a job here without a passport, unless it's under the table, but it's harder than it used to be. I guess I'm not really looking too hard. This one girl, Sasha, she says she works at this archeological site outside Prague, pays pretty good. I met her at Chapeau, she says she might be able to get me on there. It's basically just digging. She said I need to dress warm cause it's all outside and right now it's still snowing everywhere.
Oh, I forgot to tell you about this guy I know, Aiden. Crazy Aiden. Yeah! He's this crazy English guy who's staying over at Wolfgang's. I was over there yesterday, managed to get Wolfgang to buy a gram. Yeah, Aiden ... he's pretty crazy, but maybe I should just let him speak for himself ... and Wolfgang, well, at least he bought a gram.
I knew Wolfgang back in the days when I first came to Prague, before I left for China. We met at Chapeau, it was called Chateau back then. There's this club downstairs where everyone sits on these long sofas along the waill and get high and that's how we met, some night like at 4 in the morning. He came to Prague about the same time so the city was new to both of us. He was working in one of the bars, but I convinced him to come down and work on the farm in Budejvice with my dad. After we got busted, I didn't hear from Wolfgang for a long time, but last I heard he'd got a job as manager at this famous English pub in the center. Now he's trying to start his own business. There's this old abandoned theater outside the center in Vrsovice called Reincarnation. Wolfgang, with a loan from his family back in America, is trying to restore it. Oh, I forgot to tell you I'm also a DJ. Yeah, man -- D-J! ! So when Wolfgang opens, whenever that happens, if he doesn't smoke too much of my weed, he says some nights I can come in an DJ parties. That's what I really would like to do. D-J! The Reincarnation is a great old place too, lots of history, like the Pension Florida. It's got all these funky rooms and passages along with the old main screening room (now it's all one big empty space, the main room, a few years ago a Czech guy tried to make the place a squash court, so he tore out all the seats, got rid of the screen). Wolfgang is painting the whole place, replastering the walls, putting in a stage; he wants to make the main room a mixed venue, for parties, concerts, conferences, and use all the funky side rooms as private rooms for people who want to smoke, screw or whatever. Crazy! Yeah, the Reincarnation! I think it'll be cool, if and when it happens. Wolfgang has to be careful though. He's a cool guy, I've known him for years, but he has to watch out he doesn't smoke too much. He's one of those guys loses their head if he smokes too much, starts acting like he's God or something. Plus he's got all these guys who are supposed to be helping with the reconstruction, guys like Aiden, who are bleeding him cause they think he's flush in cash. Yeah, it's like that everywhere, I guess. You just got to be smart about it.

Posted by James Tressler at 02:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (330)

1 Grub

... I don't know, I ... I just don't like America. I know, it's -- I don't know ... I just feel more comfortable here in Prague ... that's what I say when people ask, ask me why ... why I stay here. It's just ... better. I feel at home here. Even if I don't have a JOB! Ha! Ha! I don't even have a passport! Yeah, it got stolen one night on the tram, along with my phone and wallet. I was passed out, coming home from Chapeau ... woke up at the end of the tram line near Hostivař, and my passport, wallet and phone were all gone, they took them straight out of my jacket! I'd have asked my dad buthe's not doing any better than me ... we came over from Cleveland together, 'bout 12 years ago, I was 17 then. He's part Czech, my dad, and we came over here to grow weed. We had this farm in South Bohemia near Budějovice. It was good until we got busted.This girl, my girlfriend's friend, she spent the weekend with us and when she left she stole a bunch of weed and then talked about it, told everyone and then it got around to the neighbors who called the cops. My dad ended up doing five years, got out and went back to America ... I don't know what he's up to now, we don't talk much anymore. My mom and me don't get along either. She didn't even answer my email at Christmas until like a month later, when she finally sent me $150 to get a new passport. I used it to buy weed ... that's how I get by these days, I got a private dealer, this friend, who gives me pretty good deals, and I sell at the bars and clubs in the center ... I don't know ... I guess it's all right, you gotta be smart about it. For one thing there's a lot of competition. One time at this place, The Cross Club, I got taken to a back room where these big guys tell me to empty my pockets. They ended up stealing 10 grams from me and telling me to leave and never come back (luckily I managed to keep a few grams hidden they didn't find). Another time at Chapeau, I was just there, getting stoned and this black guy he walks up to me and is like, 'Do you have any Ecstasy?' I was like, 'Uh, yeah ...' cause I have some of that too sometimes. He asked to see it, so I showed him one pill. He was like, 'I'll be right back,' and next thing these bouncers are over and hauling me out. They've got it all controlled -- you have one guy who's friends with the owner or whoever and he gets to sell and the rest of the dealers get thrown out. Then there was the time at the Czech Inn, this hostel for students, I was selling weed there until someone complained to the management and I was told never to come back or they'd call the cops.
So that's how it is. You gotta be smart about it.
... I don't know ... People say I should just go back to America ... but I don't like America. It's better here. It feels like home.
YEAH! Prague here we GO! Whoo-hoo!

Maria is one reason it feels like home, I guess. Ha! Maria! Man, you should see her. She's really cool! Maria SUPER-DISCO! She owns this place outside of Prague, near the Skalka metro station. It's called the Pension Florida. Man, you shoulda seen that place back in the DAY, the Nineties, I stayed there for a while when I first got here. Man, back in those days the Pension Florida was the place to BE! All these Americans, people from England, France, Holland, New Zealand, everywhere, they all would stay at Maria's. It's a big old place, three stories, with like ten rooms. Man, every night was a big par-tay! You shoulda seen Maria then, this big old crazy Czech lady with this crazy long red hair. She didn't know any English except this one word, 'Super-disco!' We'd be downstairs in the living room watching TV and the walls upstairs would start shaking from the young couples fucking upstairs and Maria would be like, 'AHHH! SUPER-DEEESCO!' Yeah! Maria, she loved superdisco, she still does, except now she's got a bad heart and she can barely get around. We all have to clean the place, or at least I do. That's part of the reason she lets me stay. Nowadays Maria mostly just sits in the living room with her cats, she's got like 20 of them, and she sits and flips through all these old books signed by the guests over the years. She must have like 50 of these books, all scribbled and filled with drawings and special messages ('La Bella Maria.... Dearest Maria ... ) and inscriptions from all the guests over the years. Most promised to come back someday, but most of them never did. There's even a picture of me, and an inscription, from back when I first arrived. Maria likes to show it to everyone. She takes out the picture, I look like a boy I swear, and she says, 'Ah, my Grub! He was so handsome, my angel! But now! Ah, only drinking, only the marijuana!'
She still likes me though. I take care of the place, sort of. It's not the same as it was, back during the Pension Florida's hey day. The place is all run down now, Maria doesn't have the money or the energy anymore to put into the place. She's got a son who now and then checks on her, but he's married now and lives in town. As for the guests, they've changed. All the young foreigners now, they'd rather go to the new places in the center, where they're close to the action. There are so many places to stay the Pension Florida's kind of lost its allure. Now most of the people who room here are sketchy ... a lot of Ukrainians, Russians who either work in construction or sell dope or don't work at all but just sit in their rooms drinking. A lot of them are pretty rough and they think they can take advantage because Maria's sick and old. They try to stay without paying rent, making a mess everywhere and stinking up the toilet -- man! I try to help. Now me and Maria just call the cops when there's a problem and the cops kick the trouble-makers out.

I think that's why Jake backed out. He's a friend, an American guy, who was supposed to get a room here. Around Christmas time we talked about it. I invited him over and me and Maria were planning on giving him the biggest and best room in the house, this second-story room with a great view of the garden. Yeah, I forgot to tell about the garden. It's great, man, in the summer time -- YEAH --we sit outside, drink beer, barbecue, SUPER-DISCO! Whoo-hoo! It's nice. Jake seemed really into it too. He and Maria sat among all the cats in the living room and talked and Maria and I showed him the old guest books, including the picture of me back in the days, and we reminisced and he seemed really into it until I told him about the problems we had with the other guests. The next day, the day he's supposed to move in, Jake texts and says he decided after all to stay in Vršovice, and that was that. I was supposed to make a little off that deal, but it's OK. Jake is a good guy, he used to be a journalist or something in the States but now he teaches English here like I used to when I lived in China. He surprises me sometimes, he can be smart. But Jake, he's a little chicken and, well, he's a little crazy too, drinks too much, so maybe it was a good thing after all.
When I say he's chicken, it's like: the other day, I wanted to sell this phone I found at this bar in the center, someone left it, swear to God. That's part of being a drug dealer; you have to get used to sitting in bars or clubs for a LONG time, sometimes all night, and so sometimes you see things, shit just happens. People get fucked up and they forget things, like with me and my stuff. Seriously, it happens. Anyway, I'd found this phone (took out the SIM card) and wanted to pawn it because I needed cash to go and buy more weed. This guy Jake helped me before when my mom sent cash, we had my mom send the money in his name and we picked it up at Western Union in his name, which we did no problem. So we met at I.P. Pavlova and I can see right away he's nervous and a little resentful. 'You realize if that phone is stolen I go to jail,' he said on the tram. I was like, 'Dude, I swear ...' And it was no problem. Actually, I'd been there earlier and the dude there offered me 600 crowns but wouldn't give me the money without ID. When Jake and I finally sold it later, a different guy was there and he gave us 900, which means the first guy was going to rip me off. That just shows you ... there's a lot of that in Prague, people like to steal. You gotta be smart about things.
YEAH! SUPER-DISCO! Prague! ... I don't know ... I've got to go get some weed now, then go see Wolfgang. You'll hear more about him later. The thing is, he usually buys weed from me, but last week when I didn't have any money or weed, he went and found a new dealer. That's another thing. You've got to always have stuff. Otherwise, people will always find someone else.

Posted by James Tressler at 06:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (65)