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Life is (n't) Elsewhere

In the opening passage of 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being,' Milan Kundera contemplates the idea of recurrence. If there is a next life, then perhaps we are condemned to making the same mistakes over and over, or are weighed down by the 'heaviness' of trying to atone for those mistakes and perfect our selves next time around. Conversely, if there is no next life, then perhaps we are 'made light,' set free from the burden of history. We are free do do what we want since there are no consequences.
Thus goes existence, the constant struggle within, between heaviness, or responsibility, and lightness, the freedom, or at least absence of responsibility.
When I first read these ideas, I was a student still living in America, and the ideas didn't register. Rather, with a young man's fatuous grasping, I was merely impressed by the 'deepness' of Kundera's erudition. After moving to Prague, during my first long cold Czech winter, I read the book again on dark snowy nights over bowls of hot gulash and rohliky, Czech fresh rolls, bought with my last fifty-crown note.
In that atmosphere, thousands of miles from home, having that day received no emails from old friends, the ideas began to take a firmer hold.
For the uninitiated, the story in 'Unbearable Lightness' takes place during the Soviet-led invasion of then-Czechoslovakia in 1968. I found myself identifying with the protagonist, Tomas, torn between his desire to flee for the freedom of the West and the nascent, deep love he feels for Tereza, a village girl many years his junior who has given up her own life to be with him. Throughout the novel, Tomas, a womanizing doctor who years before left his wife and son without a qualm, struggles with the lightness of an independent existence (symbolized by fleeing to Switzerland) and the heaviness of responsibility (staying with Tereza).
In the end, Tomas chooses to stay with Tereza, and comes back from Switzerland to his home country, where the borders have been closed. After his return, Tomas is stripped of his status as a doctor, and forced by the authorities to work as a window washer. In the end, although he continues to be a womanizer, he and Tereza find a sort of qualified happiness - until they are both killed in a car crash.
This last detail is only mentioned passingly.
Anyway, living abroad, I have become more sensitive to Tomas' predicament. Life in a glamorous European capital has many advantages and rewards; at times you feel as though you're caught on a merry-go-round, and the world a sort of gilded menagerie, flickers in a diaspora of radiant colors and light. The crowds of people in the squares swirl and eddy with the flavor of constantly changing accents and dialects, and thrust into this seductive anonymity, you feel a sense of liberation -- the lightness of being far and away and turning.
But there's also the downside. The cold winter nights, low on funds; the flashing parade of colors seems suddenly too bright, drained of vitality. You think of old friends back home, the old life, family. In these moments the mask of brilliant anonymity pales, and you feel the sick longing of being lost in the crowd. But the instant you contemplate the question -- going home -- immediately a heavy, daunting feeling falls on your chest, and it seems too far away back, and even if you should make it, too heavy a burden to ponder, all the old responsibilities, jealousies, loyalties and ties.
Having waded through all this, I'll refresh you by getting to the point.
The worldwide headlines this past week surrounding the allegation of Kundera having allegedly informed on a fellow student back in 1950 set me on a train of thought. I don't wish to go into all the details again, as the story can be found in this past week's New York Times, as well as many other major newspapers, as well as a bit of reaction from my students in the past posting.
But the thing that stands out now, is something I read in a follow-up in the weekend edition of International Herald Tribune. Kundera, who since leaving his country for France in 1975, has been notoriously aloof and distant in regards to his former countrymen. His books only recently have been translated into Czech, and he has seldom returned for visits the past 30 years. When he has visited, it has been under assumed names, and friends were sworn to secrecy.
According to the report in the IHT, a friend in France said they got a message from Kundera a couple weeks ago, in which the author said simply, 'They are pigs.' The meaning of this cryptic message has been debated. What -- or who -- was he referring to? 'It could be,' the news report read, 'Kundera knew that his carefully guarded anonymity was about to disappear.'
Could it be, not to be too presumptuous, that Kundera felt something besides shock and outrage, if in fact he was referring to the news reports. For years he has lived the life of a Frenchman, or expatriate, or at least respected anchorite. Perhaps he was feeling the weight of the past, the very heaviness he refers to in his book, of responsibility? That may come off as fatuous to some, I realize. I'm probably reaching. Often those of us who leave our homeland suffer from a comfortable illusion that, once away, we cease to belong to that country. In a way we do, I suppose. But, like Holly Golightly, who said, 'I am not Lula Mae anyore. I'm not,' we're haunted by a nagging feeling of doubt. Yes, Holly, you are still Lula Mae. And who will you be when you're not Holly anymore?' She also was caught in the struggle between lightness and heaviness, although in a slightly different key.
Kundera's outrage -- he's called the allegations that he was once an informer 'pure lies,' and the news reports, 'the assassination of an author' -- have been so loud and vociferous that some here have quailed and reflected that perhaps he really is innocent. And I personally am quite ready to believe he is, even if the one thing I've learned about the history of the Communist era is that it's hard to know what to believe; the more absurd, the more strange, the more probable it did happen.
Was he outraged merely at being disturbed, of being dragged into the mire and limelight of a country he thought he'd long left behind; to be dissected by his countrymen, to the delight of enemies who, jealous of his success (as some say), have long ached to dig their knives into the side of this uppity, 'French' countryman of theirs?
Was his anger a visceral anger borne of a long-buried guilt? Or the heaviness of having to defend himself against a false charge? Of having to 'deal with those damned Czechs again?' (my quotes)
Who knows. I agree with those who now say that the allegations, true or not, throw new light on his work.'The Joke,' in particular, almost comes across as a confessional.
For me though, what persists in the last analysis is something far less literary, more personal. You can't escape where you come from, or the past, no matter where you go or how high you climb. The title of another Kundera book comes to mind, 'Life is Elsewhere.' For a long time, I've felt the same way, and probably will again. But maybe that's not true, or not always. Personally I hope it will re-fire Kundera's engines, and force him to reengage his lost homeland in new and surprising ways. The results could be illuminating -- for both sides, but also painful and hard -- and heavy.

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