Jen's Den

In a press release from a local service club:
"The club also provides scholarships to high school seniors for collage."
(I wonder if they also provide scholarships for knitting, carving or other crafty pursuits.)

In a press release about a judge selected for an art show:
"... a rye sense of humor in his work."
(Do you think his barley sense of humor is as funny as his rye? Does quinoa even have a sense of humor?)

In a story by a co-worker:
"...viola!"
(I'm assuming this person was trying to say "Voilà!" as in "There you have it!" I wonder if the same effect can be achieved with an emphatic "Cello!" or other stringed instruments?)

In a headline on our very own front page (oy vey):
"Lightening sparks blazes in Humboldt"
(OK, but if lightening sparks blazes, what does darkening do? Put them out?)

Posted by Jen at 01:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After a recent bout with the stomach flu, I can testify to three things: (1) This year's flu shot doesn't do diddly squat to prevent stomach flu, (2) Stomach flu is a misnomer -- they ought to call it the "doubled-over-in-pain-honey-get-out-of-the-bathroom-NOW" flu, and (3) I would much rather have the coughing/feverish/achy-breaky-body flu than the stomach version. 'Nuff said.

Watch out for this one, folks -- it's a doozy. It hit me out of the blue in the space of about 3 hours.

First, you wonder why your jeans got tighter all of a sudden, then you realize it's because you have this really bloated feeling in your tummy. Then you try to walk downstairs and out to your car in the parking lot, thinking there's no way you're going to make it before you pass out. Then the nausea hits. You sit in your car, hyperventilating, thinking for sure you're dying and telling yourself, "Just start the car, Jen. Drive home, Jen. You'll make it, it's only 7 minutes to the house. Just put it in drive - the car knows the way."

I'll spare you the rest of the details. This thing had me in bed, bath and beyond help round-the-clock for five full days. I have never felt so weak and enervated, except after I had pneumonia. Oh yeah, and after my gallbladder surgery. OK, maybe I have felt that weak before. But when you're in the agonizing throes of this flu's stranglehold, you can't help but think it's the worst you've ever felt.

My dilemma: The only thing that sounded good to eat was saltine crackers and 7-Up. (Maybe because that's what Mom always gave me when I was sick, and I always want my mommy -- even at 54 -- when I'm sick.)

The problem: The saltines in our cupboard were at least 3 years old. This is how I discovered saltines go stale even when they're in their original sealed packages, unopened. Moisture is evil. It finds a way in, no matter how airtight you think you've stored something.

The solution: You can "re-crisp" them on a cookie sheet in a 200 F oven for about 5 minutes. But you have to watch them or they turn brown and get overly crispy. If this happens, they'll disintegrate if you even think about trying to pick one up.

The better solution: Buy a new box of saltines every 3-4 months and throw the old ones out on the backyard lawn for the birds and squirrels. Or, crush them and use them in a recipe. (I'll have a few ideas posted in a day or two.)

Anyway, if you catch this flu, just be warned: It may be at least a week before you get much of an appetite back. It's been a week and I'm still craving saltines.

Also, be sure to hydrate yourself. Drink little bitty sips of water frequently. Or 7-Up. It's so easy to get dehydrated and that makes you feel even worse.

Posted by Jen at 12:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

After posting the previous entry (Jan. 8) about turning one's lights on when it's raining, I was informed by several co-workers that one of their biggest pet peeves among all the idiots out there on the road is people who don't use their turn signals. I have to agree that's one of the worst.

How about you, readers? What can you add to the list of driving annoyances? Here are two more of mine:

• Tailgaters, especially guys in big SUVs or pickups, usually jacked up with huge tires. I always feel sorry for them as I pull over to let them pass and they floor it and shoot past me to prove that I was going way too slow to be in their lane (even though I was doing the speed limit). Why do I feel sorry for them? Because it's common knowledge that the bigger the truck, the smaller the ... oh, never mind.

• Smokers who toss their butts out the window: What the hell do you think they put ashtrays in cars for? Find somewhere else for your loose change, you idiots, and start using your ashtrays. Careless smokers are the imbeciles who start brush fires and forest fires. Why is this so hard to comprehend?

Posted by Jen at 05:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

This morning as I drove to work in the pouring rain, it was scary to note that scads of drivers have not paid much attention to the law that says your lights must be on when it's raining enough that you have to use your windshield wipers.

Please, folks - for safety's sake: Turn on your headlights when it's raining (or foggy)! Most cars have warning buzzers that will remind you to turn them off when you get out of the car.

I got in the habit a long time ago of checking three things before closing the car door: The lights are off, the parking brake is set and the keys are in my hand. I even jingle the keys in my hand to double-check that they really are in my hand, in case just looking at them isn't enough for it to register in my brain that I didn't lock them in the car.

And regarding new driving laws: Now is the time to get in the habit of using a hands-free device for your cellphone ... BEFORE the law goes into effect on 7/1/08. They say if you do something for three weeks straight it will become a habit. So, when I get in my car now, I automatically take the cellphone out of my purse, plug the earbuds into it, put the earbuds in my ears and the cellphone on the seat next to me. I have my cellphone set so that I can press any key to answer an incoming call, so I don't even have to take my eyes off the road to answer it. Then I tell the person to hold on until I pull over.

It's more than about getting a ticket starting in July. It's really about nearly getting broadsided or cut off dozens of times by unthinking cellphone users. Like the bumper sticker says, folks: HANG UP AND DRIVE!

Posted by Jen at 12:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We ran an AP recipe for "Savory Sausage-Apple Strata on today's Food page (12/19/07). I've added the recipe to the Recipes category in this blog.

This is a breakfast casserole, kind of like a savory bread pudding. There are a lot of these types of recipes around, especially the make-ahead type. A very common one that I find in those church fundraising cookbooks uses ham, cheddar or Swiss cheese, and white or wheat bread. Tres boring, IMHO.

Personally, I would probably use mild sausage rather than spicy (as the AP author uses), or even something like locally made chicken-apple sausages. (Since the casserole includes apples and cheese, I would think a spicy sausage might overwhelm the other main ingredients.)

The AP writer did something that always irks me. She assumed everone who would read her recipe has access to a gourmet cheese shop; one of her ingredients is "Grana Padano" cheese.

I always have a problem with writers who list ingredients like "Grana Padano" cheese without telling you that it's just like Parmesan except it comes from a different part of Italy, and without telling you what you can substitute for it.

So, before adding this recipe to my blog, off I went to one of my favorite references: The Cook's Thesaurus.

If you can't find Grana Padano, substitute Parmesan or Asiago or Romano. "Grana," it turns out, is simply the term used to refer to hard or grating cheeses — like Parmesan or Asiago (sold by the chunk in the deli section, not in a green cardboard can!). I added this notation to her recipe.

I often find myself wishing we had a gourmet cheese shop here. Some of our local stores carry a nice assortment — I'm thinking of Eureka Natural Foods and Wildberries in particular — but they're nothing like the cheese shops I used to frequent in the Bay Area. That said, imagine my surprise to find one of my favorite cheeses, Mizithra, at Safeway of all places. But that's for another recipe, at another time.

Posted by Jen at 01:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Like looking for the perfect lead on a story, creating my first blog entry (ever) is a bit of a daunting task. Should I try to be clever? Of course. Should I go for “the hook” that’s going to make people want to read more? Probably.

But ... I don’t need that kind of self-inflicted stress. (Who does?) So, my very first blog entry is going to be based on the K.I.S.S. principle: Keep It Simple, Sweetie.

First, who am I and why am I a T-S blogger?

I’m a staff writer in the Lifestyle/Features section of the Times-Standard in Eureka (CA), and I’ve worked here for almost seven years. I started out as a reporter on the “cityside” -- that’s the cities, county, politics, education, public safety, crime, environment, industry, health care and business beats. I covered business and health care for about a year, then business and special projects for two years, and I’ve been a features writer in the Lifestyle department since August 2004.

So why the blog? Well, that really is simple: I’ve had an idea for a while about putting on the T-S Web site some of the recipes we run in our Food section on Wednesdays. Discussing that possibility with our Web editor, James Faulk, the idea of doing it via a blog was the obvious solution.

As the idea evolved, I decided my blog would not just be about food, but that I would also throw in random observations about life and love, home and hearth, animals and people and whatever else seems worth mentioning. Or not. Sometimes I just like to babble.

For instance, yesterday morning I stopped at Downtown Express on the way to work to get one of their yummy scones. I noticed the time/temperature sign on the bank across the street said it was 96 degrees. Um, guys, I don’t think so. But it got me thinking about when we used to live in Sonoma County, where it was frequently 96 or hotter. I don’t miss it. I love the cool weather here. (But maybe that’s because we moved here right about the time I started having hot flashes.)

Now, about the label James tagged me with at the top of the page -- “amateur gourmet” -- which I’m sure some HumCo foodies will find amusing if not downright outrageous. Webster says “gourmet” is “a connoisseur of good food; a person with a discerning palate.” My palate, overworked as it is, is nothing if not discerning (even though my partner will tell you that I can’t tell when the milk has soured -- but that’s just my nose).

The simple truth is that I just love good food. I love to cook, and find it’s a great stress reducer. And like many, I have piles of recipes on the shelf in the kitchen that I cut out of the newspaper and have yet to try. But someday...

So, without further ado, I will share my first little slice of life from growing up in the Morey household: Mini-Pizza Hors D’oeuvres.

These bite-size pizzas on thin slices of sourdough baguette were a favorite at my parents’ parties, and they barely made it out of the kitchen to be circulated among the guests before the platter was empty. In fact, Mom always asked me to set aside a few for her on the counter while she worked on dinner, otherwise she wouldn’t get any.

And it’s to the memory of my Mom and Dad, Helen and Floyd Morey, that I dedicate this blog. I credit Mom for my love of food, as she taught me to cook at a very young age, and for my love of music, as she was always singing in the kitchen and we would harmonize together. It’s Dad I credit for my eternal optimism, as he taught me to “pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again” (apologies to Fred and Ginger). And I credit both of them for my sense of humor and love of beauty. Mom, Dad -- I love you and miss you.

Posted by Jen at 07:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)