The Virtues of a Well-Trained Man
Lacey in Durango, CO writes:
So, I've been casually keeping up on your new blog-- and congratulations on the whole marriage thing, by the way. I'm wondering, after reading the "Evolution of Man" post, how was Tony trained to put the toilet seat down? I've been seeing someone pretty seriously for the better part of a year, and despite casually mentioning the idea of maybe putting it down, mostly so I don't drop stuff into the open toilet by accident, the toilet seat cover and seat remain standing. This isn't a battle over "I'm a female who needs the seat, so put it down, dammit." It's more a battle over, "I'm a clutz and I don't want to have to fish stuff out that doesn't belong in the toilet, so close the lid, dammit."
I don't want to be a nag, because nobody likes that, but the casual (though
direct) comments and even a few clutzy incidences haven't changed a thing in 9 months... Advice?
She Said: Actually, I can't take any of the credit for this one. He came trained. I have his mother and, to a certain extent, probably his ex-wife to thank for that.
However, I do have some advice to offer: Pick your battles. I've found that a peaceful co-existence can be achieved if both partners are willing to compromise a little. If, after you've tried clear, calm, direct communication, he still won't put the lid down, you must decide how valuable this fight is. Can you live with this bad habit? Is it worth being stressed over, or could you make some changes to your storage and routine in the interest of keeping the peace? Maybe you can store your things in a cabinet under the sink, and his things can go above the toilet. If he's as clumsy as you are, his behavior may change quickly.
Comments
Hello new sister-in-law Heidi,
I'm Marie and I'm married to the other Todar, Tony's big bro Robert. Welcome to the family!
Posted by: Marie Todar | February 6, 2008 06:19 PM