Like a Lemming to a Cliff
Andy in Eureka, CA writes:
Why do so many women tend to be attracted to men who are bad for them?
She Said: Bad guys are fun. They're dangerous, risky and never boring. The problem is, these guys are also unstable. So many women have low self esteems, for reasons so varied and complex I won't begin to explore them in this post. Women with low self esteems perceive feelings of self-worth when bad guys want them. Negative attention becomes like a drug. Jane craves Dick's attention because it makes her feel better about herself. Dick realizes his power and maintains an emotional distance, always keep her wanting more. Insecure Jane becomes stuck in a vicious cycle. She feels bad when she's not with Dick, but his negative attention leaves her feeling bad about herself even when she is with him. So when she's away from him she craves his attention again because she thinks it will make her feel better about herself. Jane would probably benefit from some therapy to help her work through whatever issues cause her to seek emotional refuge in an unstable relationship.
Comments
Raggedy Ann’s response to Andy
Dear Heidi,
I feel I may be like the woman you described above, so many wise things jumped out at me while I was reading.
But, allow me just a bit of self defense, as a woman who suffers from low self esteem when it comes to as you call him – Dick.
Yes, bad boys are fun, for lots and lots of varied reasons, but there’s more to it than that. Sometimes just having him close by makes my world the most pleasant spot on earth. He is there to excite me. He is there when I am down, and when I am up. In fact, every time I turn around, there’s Dick.
My self esteem needs work, I know that, but when it comes to him, I can’t say no. Yes, he’s had four different jobs in the last six years and his car needs a lot of care (guess who always gets stiffed on that), but it’s more than just self-hate, it’s love for him.
I know that someday, somehow, Dick will love me back the way I love him.
I need him. I need him at dawn, I need him at noon and I need him at night.
I need Dick because, even though he’s a “bad boy” he’s also exciting, fun, engaging and he does treat me well. It’s hard to understand, I know that, but when it comes down to it, I want him.
Posted by: Raggedy Ann | January 10, 2008 07:34 PM