He Said, She Said

He Said: I am laying in bed, wondering. What would make me happier at this moment? I am laying next to my beautiful wife. She is snoring, softly, but enough to know that she sleeps well. My belly is full. I am tired. Too many times I am not. The warmth of my blanket keeping me so. My pets sleeping, soundly. The warmth of the drink in my blood. The sounds from my TV filling my head. It is a film that I have seen many times. I like familiar sounds while I attempt to sleep. I don't have to think, which is what often keeps me awake. I listen to the characters that I already know. The dialogue that I could recite on cue. It gives me peace. These things many others cannot begin to realize.

As I lay there wondering what things could make me happier... I cannot find any.

Peace, however we find it is...

Posted by Tony at 02:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: I approached my visit to Sedona with a completely open mind. Although I was raised Catholic, I don’t ascribe to one particular religious or spiritual philosophy. I take it all in and figure out what works for me, based on what feels right. I trust my intuition above all else, and it usually leads me in the right direction.

I attended every class, workshop and meditation I could squeeze in to my schedule. I noticed immediately that this resort was a place where people went to focus on things they want to manifest in their lives. There was a meditation room called the Crystal Grotto where morning and evening group meditations were held to start and end the day. It was open all day for anyone who wanted to meditate on their own time.

Continue reading "Red Rocks and Invisible Spirals Part 3" »

Posted by Heidi at 05:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: Sedona's red cliffs are the result of 500 years of uplifts, down faulting, wind erosion and volcanic activity. When dinosaurs roamed the earth, Sedona was under the sea. Horizontal lines in the rocks demarcate where the ocean once existed.

Continue reading "Red Rocks and Invisible Spirals Part 2" »

Posted by Heidi at 01:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: Years ago, I decided I would never turn down an opportunity to travel. So, when my grandmother asked me if I would like to go to Sedona, Arizona with her, I immediately said yes. I didn't know anything about the place, but I knew I'd have a good time. I didn't know it would change my life.

Sedona is a place of mystical desert beauty. Located approximately 120 miles north of Phoenix, it is nestled among Arizona's famed red rocks. After driving about two hours from the Phoenix airport, I approached our suite at Enchantment Resort. I was accompanied by my grandmother, aunt, cousin and two family friends, Debbie and Ardemis.

I looked out the driver's side window of our rented silver Ford Freestyle and realized I was completely surrounded in terracotta. Until then, I had only ever seen that color in small quantities--a planter in my garden, a pot on my desk--but the entire landscape of this place was nearly monochromatic. The muted green of trees and cacti was the only contrast.

We pulled up to our three-bedroom "casita" and exited our air-conditioned vehicle. As we removed our suitcases from the back of the minivan in the dry, 98-degree heat, I stopped and stared, mesmerized by the red cliffs that rose thousands of feet into the air. I felt as though I had driven to Mars.

Posted by Heidi at 12:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: These are uncertain times. There are no leaders in the U.S. government in which to have any faith. The economy is in the toilet, and we're going deeper and deeper into debt. For a long time, I viewed the nation's politics and economic unraveling from a distance, thinking that here, in my own little world, I could remain unaffected. But I can no longer ignore how the current situation is impacting me and mine right here at home.

Continue reading "The end of the line?" »

Posted by Heidi at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: When Tony and I started dating, we were each in the best shape of our lives. I had spent a very dedicated few months losing approximately 40 lbs. I was eating well and exercising regularly, and I felt fantastic...so fantastic, I attracted myself a husband. Tony was also working out and eating well...and it showed! :) This was a common point of interest for us. At the beginning of our relationship, our desks were next to each other at the office. Our department was participating in a team-oriented healthy habits competition. Tony and I had fun supporting each other in the game and encouraging each other to exercise and eat healthy foods.

Continue reading "The couple that eats together, well..." »

Posted by Heidi at 07:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: Casey's pack arrived a little over a week ago, and we've used it nearly every day since. He loves it! We get all the benefits I described in earlier posts, and the saddlebags keep him balanced. He gets excited when he sees it, and cooperates beautifully while I put it on him. That may be because the sight of it usually means an outing is imminent, but whatever gets him motivated is fine with me.

Here are a couple of photos of my happy working dog.

Posted by Heidi at 04:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

She Said: We've been car shopping since that fateful day in May when an uninsured driver slammed into our truck while it was parked in front of our house, sent it into the back of the car in front of it, and totaled it. We finally bought a new car Saturday. Well, it's new to us anyway. It's a little nerve-wracking buying a used car, because you never really know what problems you're inheriting. But we feel we got a good car for the money we spent.

It's a silver 2000 Volvo V40 wagon.

Continue reading "It's not a minivan." »

Posted by Heidi at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

She Said: Casey will have his own backpack sooner than I thought. My dad, who lives in the Bay Area, called me Saturday from PetSmart to ask if it would be OK with me if he bought him one. They had one in his size, and he wondered if maroon would be a good color for his canine friend. I told him I thought Casey would look very handsome in maroon, thanked him, and proceeded to tell Casey he'd be getting a gift from Grandpa.

Continue reading "Dog Tired" »

Posted by Heidi at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: There's always someone who wants to tell you how to parent your kid. In our case, our kid is our dog.

I've written before about the wisdom of Cesar Millan, a.k.a the Dog Whisperer. Tony and I try very hard to incorporate his methods into our dog "parenting" style. It takes a lot of work, particularly with our literally and figuratively hard-headed Am Staff. He has a lot of energy and a strong will. OK, I'm being kind; he's downright stubborn. He's four years old and although there's been improvement since starting the Dog Whisperer techniques, I still have trouble controlling him on a leash. He is easily distracted by skateboards, cats and especially other dogs.

Continue reading "Casey at Work" »

Posted by Heidi at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

She Said: I love weddings. They're fun and festive, a time to get together and celebrate a love so strong, two people are willing to endure the stress of planning a wedding just to share their commitment to each other in front of those most important to them. As my husband said to me, "You've really got to love each other to go through all that crap just to get married. If you can get through that, you'll be just fine."

Continue reading "The perfect date" »

Posted by Heidi at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

She Said: Several months ago, I posed the question: How does a couple strike a balance between getting enough alone time to maintain sanity, and spending enough time together to nurture the relationship? Folks, I have the answer. First of all, don't work together. Second, work opposite schedules. We used to see each other all day every day for months, both at home and at work. (It's a wonder neither of us resorted to murder just for a little solitude.) You won't hear either of us whining anymore about not having enough time to ourselves. We've got loads of it now.

Continue reading "Alone Time - with update" »

Posted by Heidi at 04:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

She Said: Forget Prozac and all those other happy pills--just give me sunshine. Seriously, it's no wonder the suicide rate is so high in the Pacific Northwest. We spend half the year under a thick cover of damp gray. Sure, it's the reason this region is lush, green and beautiful, but from November to May I can barely bring myself to leave the house to see any of that botanical beauty. But when the sun comes out, it's bliss.

Continue reading "What if you could bottle sunshine?" »

Posted by Heidi at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

He Said: Here I am a Dodger fan in the land of Giants. When my cousin, who has been living and working in Europe for three years, called me to say that his company was sending him to the city for meetings, we both had the same thought. "Are the Giants in town?" They were. So we began planning a day at the Park. He had never even been to SF, let alone AT&T Park. I've been to the city plenty, but never for a game. He scored some great seats from stubhub.com and we sat like kids waiting for Xmas to get to the game. Having lived here for two years and on the other side of the Rockies in Colorado for 9 years, it's not as easy to get to Major League games.

Continue reading "A Stranger In A Strange Land" »

Posted by Tony at 03:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: I've heard all kinds of horror stories about Pit Bulls at large, indiscriminately attacking children and other dogs in their paths. When I was a little girl, my neighbor on the corner was walking her Pomeranian when a Pit Bull came out of nowhere and basically ate the tiny dog's head on the spot.

But I also have many years experience in animal rescue and veterinary work, and have taken a liking to this particular breed which, when treated properly, is one of the sweetest and most loyal of them all. I feel the breed has earned a bad rap, which is understandable given the number and severity of attacks one hears about in the news. But if it weren't the Pit Bull, it would be the Doberman or the German Shepherd, or some other such strong, energetic breed that requires discipline, consistency, stability, positive reinforcement and leadership. (Hmm, kind of sounds like parenting...but children run amok is a topic for another day.)

Continue reading "No Excuse for Dogs on the Loose" »

Posted by Heidi at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

She Said: I just learned that we've been living in a cave--a deep, dark cave--and apparently for some time. Tony and I recently discovered the most precious comic gold known to man: Flight of the Conchords. I'd heard some of their songs on KHUM, but didn't know who they were. Tony's friend just turned us on to them. Now, every time we try to share the funny with someone, they already know about them. "Yeah, they're freakin' hilarious. Are you just finding out about them?"

Well, yes. And in case you've been dwelling in the same cave as we have, you've absolutely got to check these guys out. If you don't think they're funny, there's seriously something wrong with you.

Posted by Heidi at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

She Said: I've been fighting a food coma since I finished lunch. Tony and I went to Banana Hut, the only Hawaiian place in town, for the very first time today. The food was absolutely delicious. It took us back to our Maui honeymoon, where we ate like the locals do and each came back ten pounds heavier.

Two words: Plate Lunch. It's the traditional Hawaiian midday meal. If you're unfamiliar, it's typically a scoop of macaroni salad (heavy on the mayonnaise), a scoop of rice (because the mac salad doesn't provide quite enough starch), and a main dish. This could be kalua pork, shoyu chicken, chicken katsu, pineapple ribs, or my husband's favorite, Loco Moco--a hamburger patty topped with a fried egg and smothered in brown gravy. That's what he had today. I couldn't pass up the kalua pork. The last time I ate that, it had just been unearthed from a pit in the ground. This was almost as good. And the musubi! Spam has never tasted so good.

We went to the Old Lahaina Luau on our honeymoon, and that food comprised one of the best meals either of us has ever had. (Also on the short list is the amazing dinner we had at Cin Cin last weekend.) It was nice to reminisce about that trip as we chowed down on our simple, savory Hawaiian comfort food in an unassuming setting. We still haven't shed the weight we gained on Maui, so we can't make a habit of eating at this place, but maybe once or twice a month wouldn't have too strong an impact on our waistlines...and our arteries.

Posted by Heidi at 02:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: Yesterday my dog shut the front door in my face. I was attempting to enter the door at the time, so my face was somewhat in the doorway when he slammed himself up against it with all the force his muscular, 70-pound body could muster. In what seemed simultaneously like a split second and an eternity, the door collided with my forehead, making a sound I was certain could only mean my skull cracked.

Dazed, I felt pain spread immediately from the point of impact throughout my face and head. I sat down on the porch, seeing stars and trying not to pass out. I put my fingers to my forehead, examining the extent of my injury. No bifurcation of skin or skull, but there was an unbelievable amount of swelling. I felt an egg-like protrusion develop within seconds. This was a Grade AA, Extra Large ovum.

I drove myself to Urgent Care, suspecting a concussion. There were about four people in front of me, one of whom said she had been there for two hours. I decided I'd be better off going home and icing my forehead than sitting in a crowded waiting room surrounded by sick people's germs.

Thanks to ice and repeated large doses of ibuprofen, the swelling has come down significantly. However, it's starting to take on a nice dark shade of blue. I hope it goes away soon. It's not very attractive and it hurts like hell. But I'm looking on the bright side: at least I didn't have any body parts crushed between the door and the jamb.

Posted by Heidi at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

She Said: In my restless youth, I never thought I would realize the simple joys of staying home. Friday and Saturday nights used to be for going out and partying with friends, which I still occasionally do. But now there's nothing I enjoy more than spending the night in with my husband.

Continue reading "Saturday Night Home Improvement" »

Posted by Heidi at 05:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

He Said: I had a whole bit written on the subject "Breaking News". What is "news" (as Google tells you) and what the heck is "breaking news"( as Google tells you). If it didn't just happen, it aint "news" it's "olds". After my blog/rant, I decided to delete that draft and change the subject. "Self Censorship", sounds like as good a title as any right?

Continue reading "Self Censorship" »

Posted by Tony at 03:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

She Said: Calm. Assertive. These are the goals of the pack leader. These are not, however, the words I would use to describe our state of mind the night Tony bathed Gabbi, our house guest for the next three months.

Gabbi: Casey's girlfriend. Doesn't know she's entered her geriatric years. Has a knee injury, but loves long walks, jumping on people and playing rough with Casey. Enjoys carrying toys out into the yard in her mouth. Hates baths.

Continue reading "Hair of the dog...literally" »

Posted by Heidi at 07:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)

He Said: I haven't written a damn thing in a while. Between work and playoffs and trying to be the freakin' Dog Whisperer, I have been blogoslippin'. Yeah I just made up that word.

Yeah I am a huge Steeler fan... OK so when it comes down to a blatant holding non-call to steal a playoff win from my beloved five-time World Champion Pittsburgh F'in Steelers I get a little pissed. You Raiders fans know what I'm talkin' about... like that wasn't a fumble in the snow little Tommy Brady. OK so all of you people that aren't football fans bear with me. My point is this (MPIT): All of you guys that even talk to the TV during the game... In the eyes of your wives... you're an absolute fanatic. When you're at the sports bar watching with your boys... you're one of the coolest Mofers in the room. Yes I'm a fanatic and my team absolutely loves me for it.

Continue reading "Fanaticism, Toilet Seats & Cesar Millan" »

Posted by Tony at 07:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (1)

Lacey in Durango, CO writes:

So, I've been casually keeping up on your new blog-- and congratulations on the whole marriage thing, by the way. I'm wondering, after reading the "Evolution of Man" post, how was Tony trained to put the toilet seat down? I've been seeing someone pretty seriously for the better part of a year, and despite casually mentioning the idea of maybe putting it down, mostly so I don't drop stuff into the open toilet by accident, the toilet seat cover and seat remain standing. This isn't a battle over "I'm a female who needs the seat, so put it down, dammit." It's more a battle over, "I'm a clutz and I don't want to have to fish stuff out that doesn't belong in the toilet, so close the lid, dammit."
I don't want to be a nag, because nobody likes that, but the casual (though
direct) comments and even a few clutzy incidences haven't changed a thing in 9 months... Advice?

Continue reading "The Virtues of a Well-Trained Man" »

Posted by Heidi at 07:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

She Said: He warned me. When we were dating, his softball team won their tournament, so we went out for pizza and beer with the team. As he walked me to my car afterward he said, "You know I'm a jock, right? Is that going to be OK with you?"

Continue reading "I married a jock." »

Posted by Heidi at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said:

Kisses on foreheads and feet in warm slippers
Sleeping in Saturdays and hearing Mo purr
Seeing the sparkle of our wedding rings
These are a few of my favorite things

Continue reading "My Favorite Things" »

Posted by Heidi at 07:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

She Said: Tony and I just can't seem to shake this cold. He got it first, on Christmas Day. I felt so bad for him, sniffling and sneezing as he unwrapped his gifts. Normally when one of us gets sick, we try to avoid kissing each other on the lips. But that was especially difficult on this day, our first Christmas as a married couple. I knew it was just a matter of time before I would start developing his miserable symptoms.

Continue reading "In Sickness and in Health" »

Posted by Heidi at 06:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

You were a great friend,
We shared every special moment together.
We also missed many things as we huddled alone,
Away from all others.

I held you for comfort and joy,
I held you and you calmed me.
We laughed and played and drank together,
And after every dinner, we'd sit and reflect on the day.

I loved you, my old friend,
And how did you treat me?
You were always trying to kill me,
Slowly poisoning me and I let you.

No more, you dastardly fellow, you killer of killers,
I have removed you from my life.
And my only regret,
Is that I didn't do it sooner.

Posted by Tony at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Andy in Eureka, CA writes:

Why do so many women tend to be attracted to men who are bad for them?

Continue reading "Like a Lemming to a Cliff" »

Posted by Heidi at 07:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

He said: "Are you ready for some football?!?!" A lot of people are ready to watch yet most won't be able to.

Continue reading "NFL Notwork" »

Posted by Tony at 05:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

She Said: Alone time is important in a healthy relationship. How do you go about ensuring that you and your mate get enough of it? How do you balance your alone time and quality together time?

Posted by Heidi Todar at 06:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Vanessa in Eureka, CA writes:

I want to know why men set things down whenever and wherever they happen to be at the time. Cell phone, keys, watch, and even things that can go into the trash. What is that? Why not just put it away or thrown it away?

Continue reading "The Evolution of Man?" »

Posted by Tony at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

She Said: Until recently, television has never held much fascination for me. Growing up, I watched whatever my parents were watching, which was really whatever my father wanted to watch. My dad watched TV every weeknight from 5:30 to 9:00. During those hours, the living room was his kingdom. The remote was his sceptre, the couch his throne. None of his subjects (my mother, brother and I) was allowed to speak during one of his programs, lest we be shot a scornful look from His Highness. He would mute the commercials (this was before the days of Tivo), allowing for conversation to take place during the three-minute breaks. Once the program resumed, the conversation ended abruptly with the push of a button.

Continue reading "Televised debate" »

Posted by Heidi Todar at 07:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

She Said: Here we are, three months into our marriage and we decide to start blogging together. This could be a recipe for disaster. But, marriage is an adventure, and it's good for us to try new things as a couple. And so we enter the blogosphere as husband and wife...

So what's this blog going to be about? Well, we're still figuring that out ourselves. Mostly, we'll be writing about our lives as newlyweds. You'll get our perspectives on life as we adjust to living as a married couple.

Continue reading "New marriage, new blog" »

Posted by Heidi Todar at 07:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)