Fat Guys On ...

As a kid, the thrill of hearing recorded voices played back at high-speed — or through the filter of helium intoxication — was wondrous. Now, not so much.

Alvin, Simon and Theodore gravely disappointed this former Chipmunks junky. Not because they betrayed the OG version, but because now I lack the lack of critical thinking skills. Ah, the loss of childhood innocence.

My main crtitique, I suppose, is that computers had to be used — or back in the day, old fashioned animation — to make the chipmunks talk. Surely some combination of tongue splitting, genetic engineering, and corporal conditioning could have taught three real live chipmunks to sing for all they were worth. Instead, we're left with that digital blur that leaves so little to the imagination.

Rating: Doesn't even qualify for a small.