I'd like to help you with your Christmas shopping by practically dropping the purrfect thing for a Christmas present into your awaiting lap. Actually, these little critters would probably be more than happy to jump up into your awaiting arms for either a little scratch or some heavy petting if you were to offer a friendly hand (I probably would too, come to think of it).

The first two gifts I'd like to introduce you to were born about four months ago in Freshwater. These two lovely ladies and their two tiny siblings were found alongside the road near the Three Corners Store. They were only three or four weeks old at the time and not even weaned from their momma's milk. Each of the babies had severe upper respiratory infections with crusty eyes and icky noses. Thankfully, they were quickly rescued by Jennifer of the Humboldt Spay and Neuter Network, and immediately placed on a bottle feeding schedule of every four hours plus medication. It took a deworming and three different rounds of antibiotics until the babies were finally given a clean bill of health.

Now, at the ripe old age of four months, they run Jennifer's house, thundering through the living room and playing more like kittens than adolescents. I can personally attest to their fluffy, satiny softness and loving personalities. It's not hard to get a purr out of either one and they even put up with the original Hell on wheels, Gunny.

Jennifer would love to have these little ladies adopted out together:

Lovely Lady #1:

Lovely Lady #2:

My last purrfect gift suggestion was born as the runt of a litter of six kittens, coldly dumped in the mountains outside of Orick. Jennifer was able to rescue him as well as the momma and his siblings and give them some well deserved love and attention. He's the last of the litter to be adopted and just a handsome little fellow. Jennifer calls him a flame point Siamese; I just call him adorable. He'll be ready for a Christmas adoption:

'Old Blue Eyes:

If you'd like to help out this fabulous organization or perhaps even adopt your own furbaby (who comes already wormed,with shots, and spayed or neutered - all for a very reasonable fee), you can call Jennifer at (707) 442-1426. Your generous tax deductible donations can be mailed to the following:

Humboldt Spay/Neuter Network
P.O. Box 7236
Eureka, CA 95502

Support your local kitteh kats!

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Gosh, my title sounds like either a really good sci-fi story or perhaps a bottle of super cleaner. Maybe even a new chant for the PMS warrior. It's actually in reference to Piper and Gracie, who had their girlie parts removed today. They are currently curled up into little orange and black balls, in a semi-comatose state due to the good stuff they received from Dr. Bob. They don't seem any worse for wear, and in fact, their quietness is a welcome change to their usual spastic attacks on our toes, Christmas tree, and leather couches. Peace has landed - although it's only temporary.

Now don't get me wrong, I love kittehs, especially baby kittehs with their soft fuzzy bellies and little pink noses. And, I'm so thankful we found Piper and Gracie because they've brought so much fun and messy chaos into our lives. However, I'm not an advocate of making your own baby kittehs. For every kitteh adopted into a loving home, there are equally many, if no more, without such luck. Millions of kittehs are euthanized each year and this makes me so sad, especially when a good percentage of those little fellas could have been avoided by just spaying and neutering your pet.

When we got Piper and Gracie, it was never even discussed whether or not we'd have them spayed. It's just the right thing to do. I found an interesting article here that talks about the issue of spaying your critter. Here's some highlights:

Reasons To Spay your Cat

When a cat enters her heat cycle she is very annoying, loud, and messy. Spaying ends the heat cycle.

Spayed cats tend to wander less.

Reduces chances of cat developing mammary cancer, especially if spayed before their first heat cycle.

Prevents a common uterine infection, called pyrometra.

Prevents many cancers, such as uterine, and ovarian cancer, since these parts are removed.

May result in a friendlier, less aloof, cat.

A cat who is not breeding will not catch any feline sexually transmitted diseases. Oh my! Gracie does seem to be a bit on the "friendly" side.

In some areas that require licensing of cats, the fees are lower if a cat is spayed.

Spayed cats have longer lifespans.

No risk of complications during pregnancy, or delivery, such as a costly Caesarian section.

In some areas, pregnant cats are sought after for the purposes of sale for euthanasia to be used for veterinary students for dissection.

The cat will not contribute to the large number of unwanted kittens.

Reasons Not To Spay your Cat

There is a small risk of complication or death during surgery, usually due to reaction to the anesthetic. Veterinarians can test cats for allergies prior to surgery.

A purebred, registered cat, who is an excellent example of the breed, and has attended shows to prove such, may be a good cat for breeding purposes.

Obviously, the pros out way the cons and I hope people will do the right thing by having their kitteh's boy and girlie parts removed. I know it's not cheap (it was a little over $200 for my two to be spayed and then given shots) but there should be resources in your community that can help you out. Just call your local vet or even community pet rescues, and they can give you some ideas.

In the words of Bob Barker, "Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered."

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I love my kittehs, I really do. I thought that getting them before Christmas and watching them experience the ornaments and Christmas decorations would be a blast - and don't get me wrong, it is. But this is what I found the other morning when I woke up:

Over an eight hour period, they successfully undecorated half of my Christmas tree, broke two ornaments, chomped on several bows, unplugged the Christmas angel, tore up all the red garland (guess that isn't their color), and the worst part? They removed most of the tags from the wrapped presents. Unlike last year where every family member had their own specific wrapping paper, this year was done on a budget and everyone was wrapped the same. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow? That's right, unwrapping and re wrapping gifts, all the while trying to keep Gunny from "helping" me.

And speaking of Gunny, this year is the first year he's actually realizing what those fantastically wrapped boxes are for. We caught him with a gift, hiding in the corner, quietly telling himself, "I dest gonna wook at it. I dest gonna see wut it is." We were able to prevent him from defiling this gift but the big kids have caught on to his curiosity and are quietly plotting on how to get him or the kittehs to "accidentally" unwrap their presents.

I love Christmas.

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Now that our home is complete with two little fur babies, I'd like to introduce you to the place that gave Ms. Gracie:

It's the Humboldt Spay/Neuter Network. I had the pleasure of meeting Jennifer, of the HSNN, when we adopted Gracie. She pretty much runs the show for this great non-profit and I was so impressed when I found out all that she and her organization does for our county's critters. They help to provide low cost spaying and neutering to low income pet owners. They have a homeless cat program where they help monitor feral cat colonies and provide immediate rescue for pets that have been abandoned. They also loan traps and assist with with the trapping and transportation of found kitteh kats. What impressed me the most was they can take in feral kittens and socialize them to the point of being adopting. That's just awesome.

The most awe inspiring part? They do all this without the benefit of governmental support or funding. Through donations of time and money, they make their program work and help happy families happy by giving them loving and healthy critters. Jennifer and her comrades work their tails off to make this critters comfy and happy - something many of these little fellas have never experienced.

When I picked up Gracie last week, Jennifer was fostering a beautiful calico mama cat with five little adorable fuzzballs. Some of the little guys looked like flame point siamese and one was definitely gonna get her Momma's good looks with that gorgeous calico coat. My favorite? A spunky little white and orange fluffy punk that kept attacking my feet. He weighed all but half a pound, soaking wet, but his little attitude was the best. His orange spots were the color of a jack-o-lantern - can you tell I loved him...just a little? Thank goodness they were too young to adopt because I'm sure I'd be signing divorce paperwork right now.

If you'd like to help out this fabulous organization or perhaps even adopt your own furbaby (who comes already wormed,with shots, and spayed or neutered - all for a very reasonable fee), you can call Jennifer at (707) 442-1426. Your generous tax deductible donations can be mailed to the following:

Humboldt Spay/Neuter Network
P.O. Box 7235
Eureka, CA 95502

Support your local kitteh kats!

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

All day and all night, thump, thump, thump...

It's nice to see such loving sisters ;-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I didn't realize having a two pound fur baby could cause such a raucous in the house - especially at night time. Piper has decided that it's best to sleep all day because evidently, human flesh tastes that much better in the middle of the night. Poor Taterbug brought me a tweaked out Piper at about 11:30 PM last night. Taterbug looked like a new mom; exhausted and worn and begging for some relief.

"Maaaauuummmm! Please take her! I can't handle it! She won't let me sleep and she keeps attacking my fingers!" At this point, her bottom lip started to tremble and big tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "I really do love her but I need my sleep."

I had to giggle as I sent her off back to bed. How many times had I muttered the same thing when she and her brothers were babies? I took the black and white devil into my room and let her chew on my fingers and chase my toes until she finally quieted down into a purring mass of fuzzy goodness, right above my head. Hubby wasn't too thrilled about having her in our bed but she was quiet and everyone was finally able to get some rest. All was well.

Poor Taterbug has resorted to taking a brief "cat nap" during the day in order to outlast Piper. I caught them in the act yesterday...

We'll hopefully be picking up Piper's half-sister today which will perhaps grant us a little more sleep...or even less :-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

What do tears, the "puppy dog face," and promises of - well, we won't go there - get you with a kitteh cat hating Hubby?

This! Introducing...Piper the Hyper

Piper is nine weeks old and the newest addition to our family. She loves fake mice, brightly colored feathers, and midnight play sessions with a sleeping Taterbug.

We will hopefully be getting Piper a fluffy orange half-sister later this week. I don't know who's more excited, me or the kids :-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Ewww...this is a little gross but so similar to what my kids would probably do given the chance!

Posted by Mommazilla at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

When Hubby and I were first married, he obliged my maternal sensations by agreeing to let me welcome two kittens (or kittehs, as the Boston boy Gunnah would say) into our lives. We adopted two tiny fluff balls of orange and gray, from a strange man with long hair and a thick accent. It was a little weird but the kittehs were healthy and fat, and it was love at first sight.

Mikey and Zoey, as we named them, made our Christmas so much fun that year. They broke almost every ornament we had, tore up the garland, and ate enough tinsel to make the kitty litter box sparkle in the sun. The kittehs had a strong affection for Hubby's work boots and would leave him "presents" on a daily basis. Torn bits of paper, fake mice, and dead bugs were common treats left for him, deep in the toes of his boots. Far enough that he'd only notice the "gift" after he'd gotten his entire foot in the boot.

The kittehs provided us hours of entertainment and laughs. In the evening, we'd lay in bed with one of our crocheted afghans pulled up over us at an angle. Hubby would run his fingers up and down the blanket as fast as he could go, and the two chubby little assassins would scamper up and down the afghan trying to kill the offending finger tormenting them. Hubby would normally get a few scratches and lose a pint of blood or two, but it was so frickin' cute that it became a nightly ritual.

As the kittehs got older, Hubby's love for them diminished as Mikey ended up being a "sprayer" (and yes, he was fixed) and loved to mark his scent on anything that needed it...the TV, sleeping bags, Hubby's truck seat when the window was left down, and the list goes on and on. Mikey hated Hubby and pretty much let him know it on a daily basis. Zoey, on the other hand, was a space cadet and pretty much did her own thing. If you could catch her, she'd put up with a few pats and a couple of scratches, but she was more content with just hunting and sleeping.

After having babies and moving into a new house many years later, Zoey ended up living with my parents and their bazillion other kittehs. Mikey refused to go with the program and repeatedly ran away back to our old house where he currently lives with the new owners and I believe is still doing well.

We've been kitteh-less for a little over three years and believe me, I've been having serious withdrawals. I love the feeling of a warm, soft, purring body snuggled up next to me on a cold winter night. Hubby says he can purr for me and he is sorta fuzzy and soft but it's just not the same. I miss having kitteh prints on my car and seeing that familiar streaky look on the windshield, when you know they lost their footing and made a death slide. Most importantly, I feel for my kids who are missing out on the experience of owning and raising a kitteh that could be a lifetime friend to them and a ton of enjoyment especially since the tantalizing Christmas tree will be going up in the next few weeks.

I keep asking myself, why don't I just go out and satisfy my cravings for a whiskery little beast? I did it with the goat - OK, maybe that's not the best example. Oh, and I did buy dozens of fertile eggs, hatched a bunch of roosters, but then again, not the best example....Ultimately, Hubby has decided that he hates kittehs and says it's him or them. While I love the guy, I will miss him when he's gone....Just kiddin'. But I still want the fuzzy little beasts. I've been surfing through all the local pet adoption sights and then leaving them up in the hopes that Hubby will take note of my strong yearning. So far it's not working too well. I even have Taters and C-dub on the bandwagon, working their best "puppy dog" face but the turd is impermeable to the "look" and his heart beats cold toward the feline creature. I still have time before Christmas to make our critter dreams come true. I'm just not sure how to sway his anti-kitteh mind.

And here's some gratuitous kitteh shots:

more animals

more animals

more animals

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Gump, it was actually Jim Stafford - at least the version I could find.

For your viewing enjoyment:

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My fish tank has recently taken on a beautiful shade of green due to an anorexic plecostomus and a bunch of snails that decided to croak. Although the green is quite pretty, it's not so appetizing sitting on my kitchen counter looking like it might harbor the creature from the Black Lagoon. After receiving many complaints, I finally loaded the kids up and we drove to Eureka today to buy our fish a girlfriend, or boyfriend - because I'm not quite sure how to sex a fish.

When we got to the store, Taters and I walked to the fish section while C-dub and his little buddy, J-dub, walked over to look for tarantulas. I refuse to look at spiders and reminded C-dub that the only spiders in my house were the ones I couldn't reach with my Dyson. I know they do a good job of eating bugs and such, but they still creep me out and their Halloween reprieve is over.

While Taters and I were looking, a very nice clerk walked up and offered to help us find the perfect fish. She showed us a tank where a friendly little plecostomus was quietly sucking on a plastic leaf, slowly eyeballing us with his little fishy eye. He looked a little irked that we were potentially considering removing him from his watery domain and I swear I saw him try to sequester himself deeper into the tank.

As the clerk fished around with her net in the tank, the following conversation ensued:

Clerk: Oops! I think I may have subjected you ladies to a little gas attack. She continues to try and catch the fish while Taters and I give each other "the look." We thought the tank was going to explode. Are gas attacks a normal occurrence in freshwater tanks?
Taters: What do you mean? I'm glad she was brave enough to ask.
Clerk: Oh hon, you know! When you eat too many re fried beans? That funny feeling? I just passed a little stinky, that's all. The clerk kept her perky gaze at the fish tank, not even batting an eye as she finally captured the fish and took it out of the tank. Taters begins starting at me; half a smile on her shocked face.
Mommazilla: Taking the high road, I whisper to Taters, She just floated an air biscuit? Is that what she said? I couldn't quite believe that an adult had announced such a thing. My kids, yes, but someone I don't know? Not so much.
Taters: Shrugging and whispering back, I think so?
The clerk continues her quest in containing our perfect specimen. She then adds some icing onto the putrid sulfur cake she's baked.
Clerk: My friend had a dog once and blamed the smell on him. But it wasn't the dog! She begins chuckling at her funny story and I see Taters slowly back up, trying to avoid any smell that might have emanated from her odoriferous rump.

As she hands me the bag I notice that the fish is no longer moving, in fact, it's belly up. I point this out to the clerk and she's beside herself. She quickly replaces the fish with another little fellow and tells us that the victim fish probably died from the shock of getting caught. I dunno, but I think her gas attack and the dieing fish are strangely coincidental.

It was a strange, surreal moment, as I paid for the fish and left the store with the kiddos (sans Tarantula, thank you very much). We had quite a few laughs about our "gas attack" experience on the return drive. I'm also happy to report that the little fellow did make it home in one piece and is now happily sucking the green goo from the midst of my tank. By morning, I hope to be able to see his other finned cohorts through the gaps in the algae.

The below fish is a plecostomus, in case you were interested.

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Gunny and I are currently being held hostage in our home by a one-horned goat from Hell. Yes, Chico has returned and he's evidently pretty pissed off about being given away. He's back with a vengeance and an appetite for destruction - just like Guns N' Roses back in '87.

I swear I heard him bleating these lyrics:

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

I hear him, pacing back and forth on my front porch, knocking on my front door with his one horn, and attacking the Halloween decorations. He's gonna kill my beautiful scarecrow and not even bat an eye about the mayhem he's causing.

Chico arrived back in our yard last night and made his presence known as I walked out to my car to go to photo class. I actually ran, because once he saw me, he did this funky sideways buck and threw his head back clearly exposing that crazy eye he has. You wanna see it? Are you really sure? Don't look into it too long or he may take it as a challenge and attack:

For those of you not familiar with this beast, check out this posting for a complete explanation of how the albino demon was born. Followed by this posting of how we ended up finding out he's the devil in a white fur coat.

When I think about it, having Chico back has given me some opportunity to reminisce about things, like:

The joys of a clean front porch...

Beautiful rose bushes...

Happy chickens...

Scary Jack O' Lanterns...

None of these I have any more - hence my reminiscing.

I tried to make friends with Chico this morning by offering him some bread and a handful of baby carrots. I apologized profusely and reminded him that his new home was wonderful and he was obviously benefiting from the new diet judging by his voluptuous figure. Rut roh, he didn't like that comment so much. I guess even goats get insulted about their weight. He then came after me with the crazy eye:

Yeeeeeouchhhhh! And he connects!

I'm not a violent person and I don't like to hurt anything but he's made me resort to obtaining a weapon to defend myself and family:

That's right, Cheeks, I have a garden hose filled with the chilliest of well water, and I'm not afraid to use it.

I'm Dirty Harriet, "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

I think his luck has just ran out.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Our little butterfly buddies hatched (yesterday and today) and we released them this afternoon. I wasn't quite sure how they would hatch since I'm familiar with how chicks and ducklings hatch out of normal size eggs. The butterflies actually hatched really fast and I was surprised at how much blood (or at least red goo) came out of the chrysalis. It was a really neat experience and the kids enjoyed it.

If you're interested in trying to be a foster butterfly parent, here's the link to the kit we bought. You get the special enclosure and a then send off for the caterpillars.

Here's some pics of the grand release celebration:

And of course, C-dub is learning the fine art of terrorizing your older sister. She had no clue he was behind her throwing as many rabbit ears as possible:

Posted by Mommazilla at 02:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

My ovaries have been hurting for awhile; hence the chicks, ducklings, borrowed kittehs and now baby butterflies. Hubby still hasn't gotten over the shock of having a Gunny and doesn't want to tempt fate with a fourth little monster. He's slowly coming around to the idea that I want another baby but I think he's secretly hoping that the numerous critters we collect will pacify my ever ticking biological clock.

Sorry babe - tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...it's still clicking away.

Our newest critters (Painted Lady butterflies) are due in a couple of days. It's been pretty neat watching them as caterpillars and then each form into a chrysalis. I'm excited to see them hatch but even more excited to know that I won't be cleaning any crappy cages or chasing the little monsters at night to get them caged. It's the little things in life that I'm thankful for - even if I'm usually the one creating my own headaches.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Over the weekend, Hubby took the boys and Grandpa D out to our hunting property. It's closing weekend for rifle season and our last opportunity to cut a load of wood before the chill of winter sets in. It's also the last weekend that my boys will get a chance to hunt alligator lizards and roll around in the dirt for three days without the required daily shower.

While our property is plentiful of downed trees and firewood, it's not so giving with the deer population. Sure, we have a lot of deer roaming around, but unfortunately, the ones that like to be seen are of the feminine nature. It's not uncommon for our family to go years without shooting a nice buck or even seeing prospects for future hunting seasons. But like I've said before, hunting trips aren't just about the hunting.

However, Hubby broke the cycle this weekend by bagging this big boy:

Did you count those points? Yep, it's a four by four.

I'm not a venison eater but my family is. They all enjoy a good barbecued piece of backstrap and a well seasoned batch of jerky. This big guy will be feeding at least three families and I thank him for it. I also thank him for the ego boost and testosterone injection he gave to my Hubby who hasn't bagged a buck in several years.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Gunny hates spidahs. He proclaims this whenever we walk by one or his hand touches the remnants of a web in a window sill. I think they're pretty cool and I was able to capture this one on our front porch:

And the same web, with a spookier look:

And just to let you know:

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Over the weekend, Hubby took both grandpas and the chitlins' out to our hunting cabin in the Mattole Valley. They claim it's a "hunting" trip but in all reality, the only thing they bring back is a load of firewood and a lot of crushed beer cans. I don't mind because it's all about the family time and I truly appreciate the fact that my kids get to enjoy such a great bonding experience with both their grandpas and dad.

Hubby shared with me a story that happened over dinnertime. The family had settled into a nice dinner which included a disgusting can of peas that Grandpa Dale tried to convince the kids to eat. Even Hubby agreed that the peas resembled baby food more than something delicious and edible. While the kids whined their way through dinner, Papa Tom thought he'd lighten the mood with a little joke.

Papa Tom: Hey kids, do you know how to catch a polar bear?
Kids: Intrigued. No, how?
Papa Tom: You cut a hole in the ice.
Kids: Yeah.
Papa Tom: Then you take these here green peas and sprinkle them around the hole.
Kids: Huh? Clearly confused, they keep listening.
Papa Tom: When the polar bear comes in to take a peak, you kick him in the ice hole.

The kids erupted into tremendous laughter and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. C-dub seemed to enjoy the joke the most as he had big, fat tears rolling down his chubby little cheeks. I don't know that he necessarily understood it, but the whole idea that it sounded like a naughty word and you got to kick a bear in the big 'ole butt was enough to do him in.

Cute joke. I just hope C-dub doesn't repeat it on Friday Share Day.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm done. Between the bratty boys and the bear, I've had it up to HERE defending my orchard. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I've resorted to hiring two uber secretive ninja type warriors, to defend my property. They allowed me one hour to take a few photos of them at work, as they are currently really busy preparing to shoot their first movie, "Curse of the Black Ninja Kittehs." Any sort of distraction from their deadly art of war could prove to be fatal.

Stealth Kitteh:

Quiet reflection before the destruction begins:

Sharpening the paw knives:

Leisurely stroll or walk of impending destruction?

A rare close-up of the handsome Ninja Kitteh Nico:

Another rare close-up of the beautiful Ninja Kitteh Eva:

Investigating the next target of her fury:

Establishing an orchard command post:

Protecting one of their charges:

Did I just hear an enemy?

Putting up with a heavy petting - it's all part of the job:

Gunny wuvs his "borrowed" ninja kittehs:

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

It has come to my attention that you are thoroughly enjoying the french prunes in my orchard. Yes, those little purple gems are delicious and sweet as candy. My little ones enjoy them as well. Just ask Gunny. He ate so many last week that he got the runs.

Anyhoo, dearest Yogi, I would respectfully ask you to abide by the signs I have lawfully placed around my property. They are posted for your protection and mine.

No, they were not originally met for you but for the little heathens who were stealing my fruit. However, I have found that you are way worse than those little schats. You're teeth are much bigger, you're claws are much sharper, and by far the worse part, you're incontinent.

Do you really have to steal from me and then rub in the fact that you did so by leaving me landmines in the orchard? Didn't Boo Boo or Ranger Smith teach you anything? Or did you leave landmines all over Jellystone Park? Good grief, Yogi, wear a diaper for crap's sake. Gunny about sank to his knees when he accidentally stepped on one of your "accidents."

And Yogi, don't think for a second that I didn't notice the treat you left us on the road. That was stinkin' rude and I think I may have popped a car tire when I hit it thinking it was an innocent, dry meadow muffin.

In summary, Yogi, I really like you and wish only the best for you. I just would like you to live your peaceful way of life outside the boundries of my orchard. Please don't eat my fruit and leave me gifts in return; it's just not proper. I would never do that in your forest haven - primarily because I like running water and have the luxury of opposable thumb usage. I would love to have a pleasant relationship with you as a neighbor but you have to remember to do your part.

Kthxbai?

Mommazilla

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The deer are back and enjoying the bounty of my apple trees. They've also discovered the joy of a good butt and body rub on my kids' swingset.

Posted by Mommazilla at 12:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I woke up today to the sound of something scampering up the trees in my front yard. I squinted and tried looking through the mass of alders thinking that the sound came from the little squirrels who live in my orchard and dry creek bed. I then saw them - attacking each other and the trees like little mountain lions; two adorable little black kitties and they meant business.

Gunny saw them too and he let out a shriek, "Kittehs! I wuv kittehs Momma! Hold'em, hold'em, wight now!" I had to call him back as he ran as fast as his chubby little legs would take him. He was on a mission and I didn't want it to end in scratches or tears. Besides, I didn't know if they were feral cats dumped on our property by some lazy loser jerk.

As we got closer, I softy called to them, trying to get their attention. They both eyeballed me but didn't run- good sign. They slowly started walking towards Gunny and I and as my foot kicked a small branch, the little one with a white speck on her chest quickly jumped for the offending stick. She tackled it with great fierceness and then proceeded to kick the crap out of the "perp" she had "collared." It was hilarious. Her ferocious kicking and biting caught the attention of the other little kitty and her partner in crime quickly ran over to also tackle the vicious branch.

Once they were done, the kitties sat on a downed log and stared at Gunny and I. When they were sufficiently satisfied that we were not going to attack them like the stick, they carefully walked up to me and allowed me to give them a few gentle rubs and scratches behind the ears. The pure black one allowed me to scoop her up for a quick moment and I noticed that she was in great shape with a sweet little round face and equally round belly. Their coats were sleek and shiny and their green eyes were bright and clear. They had been obviously cared for by someone and were possibly just making their rounds in the neighborhood.

Gunny was ecstatic about the "kittehs." He professed his "wuv" for them as he gently patted them on the head. I asked Gunny if he wanted to give the "kittehs" a treat and after he screamed, "Yes!" we crept inside the house to abscond with a can of white albacore. Hubby was not happy about this as he is no lover of the feline generation. However, the huge smile on Gunny's face eventually shut him up.

We gave the loaner "kittehs" a can of albacore and gave them a few more heavy petting sessions until I decided it was time to wash our hands. I have no idea if they're going to stay or if they belong to a neighbor, but I'm secretly hoping they'll find our house to be a great place to live. I'm not sure how the chickens will like that but until the feathery buggers start laying eggs where I can find them, their opinion doesn't count.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I want a four-eared cat!

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I happened to look out in my orchard the other day, only to notice a group of bratty bicyclists trespassing and stealing fruit from my orchard. I can overlook the occasional sampling of an apple or peach, but these little turds were taking peaches by the handful, and chucking them at each other. They were not enjoying the peachy little orbs of sunshine the way Mother Nature intended and they were stealing from me. Not a good combination.

After telling my children to put on their earmuffs, I spewed a load of profanities to let them know they were on private property and I didn't appreciate their peach fight. Call me cranky but these peaches were meant for my family and friends - not the little heathens who obviously had no respect for the property of others. I watched the boys scamper off and ride their bikes up into my neighbor's driveway and then down into their front yard as they obviously felt there was some sort of bicycle path established for their ease of travel.

Later that night, I marched the family over to the orchard and we picked all the ripe peaches and noticed the mess the boys had made. It really pissed me off to see the mess of squished peach goo and it also concerned me. Rotten fruit attracts animals - and I'm not talking about butterflies and bunnies. I'm not too fond of Yogi and I certainly don't want him and his "pic-a-nic" at my house.

My worries about the urus americanus came true last night as my headlights hit a large black creature scampering across the street into my neighbor's house; and no, it wasn't a bunny. The bear wasn't huge but big enough to scare the crap out of me and honk my horn until Hubby would turn on the porch light. I know he's probably more afraid of me that I have of him but I've got plenty of body fat to feed him for a couple of days and he looked mighty hungry.

I am now trying to be diligent with our downed fruit but I can't help the blackberries. Oh the delicious blackberries that are now sitting in my fridge begging to be eaten, thanks to Taterbug's diligence in picking:

As much as I love the blackberries, so do all the critters. I'm doing what I can to protect myself and property but tis the season of bounty and the bears and other scary critters are well aware of this. Do what you can to protect yourself too. Here's a coupla things we've done:

* Pick up and discard all downed fruit.
* If your BBQ'er is outside, keep the grill clean of burnt items.
* Secure your garbage cans - talk about a smorgasbord for a hungry bear.
* Keep your windows and doors closed so that you don't have a nighttime visitor.

Here's an excellent resource if you want to learn more.

Be careful! Visit the da bears at da zoo rather than at your house!

(Sequoia Park Zoo - Is that bear real?!)

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Wow! I can't believe my ducklings are just about six weeks old and they look so different!

From this:

To this:

I believe we have two drakes and one hen but I'm not 100% positive yet. I'm definately not up to date on duck sexing 101, so I'm judging by color only. They happily roam our yard during the day and we tuck them away in their cage at night. They're also starting to get their quacks going, but right now, they're reminiscent of Peter Brady. The drakes have beautiful shades of emerald green, cobalt blue, and teal in their wings and the little hen is a beautiful snowy white. They are so much fun to watch waddle around and swim in their little pool.

Thanks for looking!

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Come fly with me, lets fly lets fly away
If you can use, some exotic booze
Theres a bar in far bombay
Come fly with me, well fly well fly away

Come fly with me, lets float down to peru
In lama land, theres a one man band
And hell toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, well float down in the blue

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
Well just glide, starry eyed
Once I get you up there, Ill be holding you so near
You may here, angels cheer - because were together

Weather wise its such a lovely day
You just say the words, and well beat the birds
Down to acapulco bay
Its perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me, well fly well fly away

~Frank Sinatra as sung by Daffy

Posted by Mommazilla at 02:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Figuratively speaking, of course. It's been invasion of the deer this week and three beautiful bucks have taken up residency in my orchard. They are engorging themselves on my baby apples and plums, much to my dismay.

Here's the little guy:

Here's the medium sized one:

And finally, the big Daddy:

There is also a beautiful doe with two speckly fawns hanging out in my neighbors yard. It's really neat to see. My poor husband, on the other hand, it starting to get a serious case of buck fever and these walking pieces of backstrap aren't helping!

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

One of my favorite hens went missing about a month ago. Because of where we live, I figured that she had become the unfortunate victim of a hungry raccoon family. Imagine my surprise when I found this:

And this:

And a little more fuzzy goodness for good measure:

We are now the proud owners of three adorable little yellow chicks and two black chicks. Mother and babies are doing well :-), and grandma is still in shock.

Posted by Mommazilla at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Some current picks of my teenagers:

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Will be posted today. I promise. My five-month old laptop decided to take a crap on me yesterday and is now in the computer hospital. After spending three hours in ICU with it, my family was worn out ;-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The kids have nicknamed the ducklings Feisty, Spike, and Cutie. I think the names sound reminiscent of the "Flavor of Love" galz - not necessarily a good thing:

So I need your help. Give our ducklings a name! With the help of my favorite retired Avon lady, I have put together a prize package guaranteed to keep you gorgeous during these hot summer months. Oh yeah, if you live in Humboldt, I'll be sure and include an umbrella and a scarf.

The rules are simple; leave a comment with your three (3) names. In a week (next Monday the 7th), my family will choose the winning names. If we like multiple names then we may just choose to hyphenate and award more than one prize - I've got a lot of junk to giveaway :-). And don't worry, it will not include anything that chirps, tweets, or growls.

Here's some current pics of the little ones, just for inspiration:

Ducks On The Run (you'd run too if you had a 30 lb. toddler chasing you)

Momma Duck

Green Grass Adventures

Gettin' Big!

Thanks for lookin' and don't forget to have your name entry in by next Sunday (the 6th) night. We'll pick and announce