I'm still editing so I'm throwing yet another REPEAT at you. But I really like this story because it tells you so much about my little brother. This was originally posted last February of 2008. Sorry Ry.

Uncle R had an epiphany this weekend and because of it, decided to "man up" and do something that he says he's always dreamed of doing; skydiving. Now the only dreams I've had of falling 13,000 feet with a strange person tethered to my back were in actuality nightmares, and I made sure to share this safety conscious opinion with him. Much to my dismay, Uncle R proclaimed that this high flying challenge was an important factor in his growth as a man and I just couldn't argue with this testosterone laced argument. However, ironically enough, a certain new lady in his life happened to be present for his decision to jump, and the shame of knowing that she had previously made this leap of faith herself, was a strong factor in him growing a huge set of testicular fortitude.

Uncle R's adventure began with a long drive to the lovely metropolis of Acampo (near Lodi), early Saturday afternoon. When he got there, he was quickly put through a training session and then weighed in to determine who his friendly tandem partner would be. I snickered when Uncle R told me that he had to pay a little over the initial fees due to his weight. He reminded me that muscle does way more than fat so the additional $16 bucks he had to pay for his "overage" was purely because of his excellent condition. Whatever, even schatty hamburger meat goes for at least $2 a pound - how much value did they actually place on his life?! He then signed his liability paperwork and on camera, told the nation who he wanted to have his car and motorcycle go to - just in case. I was pissed that he didn't leave either one to me. Jerk. His final parting words for his friends, family, neighbors, and girl he wanted to impress was, "Oh Shat." What a classy, brave little man Uncle R is.

He was then loaded up on the plane and flown to the lovely flying altitude of 13,000 feet. His chubby little red bushy bearded tandem partner (kind of resembled a cute little garden gnome) promptly told Uncle R to have a seat on his lap so that they could get a little closer - connected that is. Uncle R admitted feeling a little strange sitting on Gnome’s lap and that Gnome did smile and chuckle quite a bit as Uncle R squirmed, hoping that it was a parachute cord in the Gnome’s pocket...The Gnome also happily told Uncle R that he had recently made a naked jump, giving Uncle R that much more confidence and weird feelings about his Gnome lap dance.

Uncle R said that he was eerily calm up to the final moment and the video tape taken of him actually proved this to be a true fact. Although calm, he was a deathly white and his answers sounded a little delayed. He was totally rockin' the deer in the headlight look and boy, did it work for him. I actually felt very nervous for him and my hands were sweating like rotten cheese, watching him get ready to take the ultimate leap of faith.

I honestly did not believe that Uncle R made the jump until I watched him do it. In slow motion, you could see him going through a series of emotions: fear, excitement, and the sudden realization of his mortality. He had a tremendous "O" face the whole way down and the Gnome was also wildly grinning, firmly attached to the back of Uncle R. The entire jump lasted about five minutes and Uncle R equated it to riding on his motorcycle's handlebars without a helmet, at about 100 mph.

He did give me a bit of a warning about what to expect when the actual parachute opened up (like I'm ever really going to consider doing this!); the jolt of the opening gave him a tremendous wedgie from Hell; so bad that he honestly thought he was tasting cotton. I gently corrected him by saying that it appeared to be more of an impressive moose knuckle he sustained. I guess with that much force, the wrenching of ones' jeans probably makes the family jewels and bunghole feel equally abused -so I won't argue the point.

Uncle R is now safely home and in possession of both video and pictorial evidence of his escapade. As we watched the video tonight, I saw him light up at the idea that he had challenged himself and had conquered such as awesome feat. I actually got a little misty eyed watching him be so brave and I was very proud of him for doing this on his own and with minimal encouragement. As we walked out to my car, he mentioned what an outstanding experience it was to go through and the video had really got him thinking. Again, as the older sis, I beamed with the idea that Uncle R had had a life changing emotional moment and that he was surely about to spew Shakespearean quotes and solve world hunger. Rather, he told me, "Sis, I've been thinking. I've got pretty eyes on that video, don't I?" I stopped and thought for a moment, "Yes, yes you do. They were especially pretty when they were actually open during the jump." He pondered this for a moment and smiled. We continued walking and I quietly chuckled to myself realizing that I still had the same old Uncle R and that this life changing experience hadn't taken away the little boy. I'm glad.

Some pic's of our Uncle R: