20 Ways To Tell If You're A Mom
This is my own personal list. Please feel free to make your own.
1. You seriously contemplate driving four hours to a monster truck rally just to hear your three-year-old scream in joy, "Monstah Jaaaammmm!"
2. You say to your three-year-old, without giving it a second thought, "quit touching the cat's tail with your weiner."
3. You then say to your three-year-old, "I don't care if it tickles; it's just not right." Again, without a second thought.
4. You tell your child they have onion pits. And then you let him/her use your deodorant.
5. You prefer to watch "Chowder" over the nightly news.
6. You know all the names of the characters in "Chowder" and give your child status updates on the episodes
they missed.
7. Fancy dining is done at Denny's.
8. You automatically whip out the Ranch dressing at dinner time, because ranch goes good with everything.
9. You know what "bustin' a grumpy" and "floatin' an air biscuit" means, and see it practiced daily.
10. You expect a third, fourth, or fifth person in your bed everynight. And not in a good way ;-).
11. It's natural to pick other people's noses for them. And eye boogies as well.
12. Sniffing your child's diapered butt is normal and expected.
13. You know where the bathroom is located in every store or eating establishment and you know if it contains a changing table - by memory.
14. You run a nudist colony but don't partake amongst the festivities for fear of being laughed at.
15. On some days, you look forward to going back to work and talking to a grown-up.
16. You can't relate to Martha Stewart.
17. You refuse to give away your nine year old daughter's baby clothes because it's too final.
18. You have the gag reflex of a sword swallower.
19. The release of a new Pixar/Disney/Nickolodeon movie is exciting to you because you know it buys you at least a two hour sanity break.
20. You have naughty thoughts about Sportacus from Nick Jr.'s "Lazy Town." It's honestly the second show (see #'s 5 & 6) you don't mind watching with your three-year-old.
Ok, I know there are more out there...List away!
Comments
You post blogs with pictures of your potty training son's successes LoL
Posted by: Bri | January 21, 2009 12:37 PM
The 5 second rule becomes an essential in your life.
Posted by: Carolyn | January 21, 2009 02:13 PM
You use the toilet with the door open to show your child how "big girls use the potty."
Posted by: Carol S-U | January 21, 2009 04:24 PM
You make up songs about bodily functions as a regular pass time...
Posted by: Andrea | January 21, 2009 09:21 PM
Oh, you gals thought of some good ones! LMAO!
Posted by: Sandi | January 21, 2009 09:44 PM
OMG I totally make up songs about bodily functions hahahaha... when I am getting the kids out of the car and I really have to pee I start singing "Mommy's gotta pee, mommy's gotta pee, mommy's gotta, mommy's gotta, mommy's gotta pee!" They love it and sing along!
The 5 second rule rocks!
Posted by: Bri | January 22, 2009 07:10 AM
Without the 5 second or what we practice (1 minute rule) at our house, my children might not otherwise get fed.
Posted by: Sandi | January 22, 2009 08:33 AM
I just learned about Lazy Town, but I've been digging Blue Clues and Joe (Steve was a weirdo) but with some new clothes and some gel in his hair, Joe could be a total babe!
You can tell if you're a mom when you spend more time on manicuring your children's nails than your own. (how do they grow THAT fast???)
Posted by: Deanna | January 22, 2009 09:15 AM
You include "and let me go poop" at the end of your prayers (he was "backed up" for a while). When my son has goodness knows how much money worth of clothes in his closet (I'm a gymbo addict) and I just can't spend $15 on a pair of jeans! You start telling other adults that you have to excuse yourself to go 'potty' when there are no children present. Oh there are tons!
Posted by: Tiffany | January 22, 2009 10:44 AM
"quit touching the cat's tail with your weiner."
Ditto. Especially in front of company.
Posted by: Samantha | January 22, 2009 01:52 PM
I did the potty one the other day... actually I was talking to my friend Sarah when I said, "I thought you had to go potty?" She looked at me and said, "Did you seriously just say 'potty'?" Yes, yes I did.
Posted by: Bri | January 22, 2009 04:11 PM
Hello !!!! ;)
My name is Piter Kokoniz. oOnly want to tell, that your blog is really cool
And want to ask you: will you continue to post in this blog in future?
Sorry for my bad english:)
Thank you!
Your Piter
Posted by: PiterKokoniz | April 7, 2009 03:57 PM