Hey Jessica, next time you dress and decide to perform in front of thousands of paying customers, do me a favor and skip the mom jeans. It wasn't that we all thought you were chubby or maybe perhaps sperminated by your boy, Romo; no, it was much, much worse. I must call to your attention the major faux paus it appeared you were about to commit. The impending "camel toe" issue needs to be addressed with your stylist. The crowd was scared

On a side note, I must remember to ask Jessica to borrow this outfit for the upcoming Santa Rosa Monster Truck Show. I think this outfit, paired with my finest flannel, might just get the attention of the Bigfoot truck driver. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

In case your not familiar with the term, "mom jeans," please use this excellently crafted video as a reference. You will be a better person, I promise.