I'm addicted to reality television. I ain't gonna lie; I never miss an episode of "Charmed School," "Rock/Flavor of Love," or any of the bitchy MTV "My Super Sweet 16," shows. Recently, I've dabbled in a bit of "The Pick-up Artist 2" and I 'd have to say, I do not like it. I do not like it one bit. Yeah, I feel bad for the goobs on the show, they all seem likeable enough in a geeky sort of asexual way. But seriously, have you seen the host and offical guide of the show? He goes by the name Mystery. Ooh, so scary and complex. Not so much when you look at him unless you count the mixing of aviator glasses with stocking caps:

OK, maybe a feathery Pamela Anderson hat, licorice colored nail polish, and Playboy eyeliner are more your style. Any better?

Didn't think so.

They are using this guy and his metrosexual Deuce Bigalow buddies (who have great stripper names like J-Dog, Matador, The Don, Cajun, Tenmagnet, Mr. M, Sheriff, etc.) to train, fresh from the street, virginal men to pick up women. It's quite entertaining albeit a little disturbing to see these poor guys trying to use pick-up lines at clubs and grocery stores. I just wanted to reach through the television screen and yell at these goobs to just be themselves! For chriminy sakes, you shouldn't have to memorize lines, stalk your prey, or perform routines in order to get a little game. I finally stopped watching just before they picked their winner, because I honestly couldn't take it anymore.

I find it especially hard to believe that most women would even find "Mystery" (real name: Erik von Markovik) as the sexy beast he pretty much proclaims himself to be on the show. Maybe I'm missing something? Maybe women really dig a faux goth pierced aviator in need of a tan and haircut? Does it scream "HAWT!" to you? I dunno, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want him training any of my single guy friends on the art of seduction. I also think he's foolish to believe that a smart woman couldn't figure out she was played by some of his cheeseball lines within the first five minutes of conversation with one of his proteges. Give us a little credit, Mystery.

I suggest they take lessons from the original Pick-up artist (of course, pre-cocaine and alcohol days) and I just might watch it again: