Gunny and I are currently being held hostage in our home by a one-horned goat from Hell. Yes, Chico has returned and he's evidently pretty pissed off about being given away. He's back with a vengeance and an appetite for destruction - just like Guns N' Roses back in '87.

I swear I heard him bleating these lyrics:

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

I hear him, pacing back and forth on my front porch, knocking on my front door with his one horn, and attacking the Halloween decorations. He's gonna kill my beautiful scarecrow and not even bat an eye about the mayhem he's causing.

Chico arrived back in our yard last night and made his presence known as I walked out to my car to go to photo class. I actually ran, because once he saw me, he did this funky sideways buck and threw his head back clearly exposing that crazy eye he has. You wanna see it? Are you really sure? Don't look into it too long or he may take it as a challenge and attack:

For those of you not familiar with this beast, check out this posting for a complete explanation of how the albino demon was born. Followed by this posting of how we ended up finding out he's the devil in a white fur coat.

When I think about it, having Chico back has given me some opportunity to reminisce about things, like:

The joys of a clean front porch...

Beautiful rose bushes...

Happy chickens...

Scary Jack O' Lanterns...

None of these I have any more - hence my reminiscing.

I tried to make friends with Chico this morning by offering him some bread and a handful of baby carrots. I apologized profusely and reminded him that his new home was wonderful and he was obviously benefiting from the new diet judging by his voluptuous figure. Rut roh, he didn't like that comment so much. I guess even goats get insulted about their weight. He then came after me with the crazy eye:

Yeeeeeouchhhhh! And he connects!

I'm not a violent person and I don't like to hurt anything but he's made me resort to obtaining a weapon to defend myself and family:

That's right, Cheeks, I have a garden hose filled with the chilliest of well water, and I'm not afraid to use it.

I'm Dirty Harriet, "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

I think his luck has just ran out.