My children are far more worldly than I thought and they proved this fact the other day. C-dub had ran into my bedroom, shrieking and pulling at the back of his jeans. Taters was in hot pursuit, belly laughing and pointing at C-dub's obvious discomfort. Gunny, not knowing what the heck was going on, followed the two into the bedroom and proceeded to scream his enjoyment of the raucous event. I sat on the bed and tried to smother myself with a pillow. Just kidding.

Once I got the screaming/shrieking/insane laughter stopped, I asked C-dub what was the matter and I put my hands on his shoulders in order to turn him around and look at what he had been pulling at behind his back. As I moved him I quickly saw the problem: approximately eight inches of Spongebob undies were pulled up his poor little butt crack and he was having trouble removing this cotton torture. As I helped free him from the hellacious wedgie inflicted upon him by his evil sister, Taters informed me that C-dub had received a "Texas wedgie" from her willing and capable hands.

Taters: How'd you like that Texas wedgie C-dub? She's snorting and grinning, obviously content with the big sister torture she had provided.
C-dub: That's not funny, Sissy! It hurted my butt!
Taters: You know C-dub, you're gonna need surgery to get that thing out. She's still grinning like the Chesire cat.
C-dub: What's sergawee, Momma? In typical C-dub fashion, he's beginning to panic at the unknown.
Mommazilla: C-dub, I almost have it out so no surgery for you. You just need to stay away from Taters and her Texas wedgies. Maybe next time she'll go easy and stick to a small state wedgie. Like Rhode Island or something.
C-dub: Ok Momma, thanks. See Sissy? No sergawee for me. You were wonggg!!

Free from his torture and with a pair of undies stretched at least two sizes to big, C-dub ran off to play with his little brother, staying away from the faux Texan with killer wedgie skills.