"Mom! My life flashed in the palm of my fingers! I was so scared! This may not seem like a big deal to you but it was a huge day for us kids!" said Taterbug rather excitedly yesterday after a huge tree limb decided to commit suicide into the power lines running over our orchard.

The day had been absolutely beautiful and rather productive as we had just gotten back from C-dub's "kindergarten" doctor's visit and I had finally managed to talk him into peeing into a cup for the nurse. Last year, he had giggled so much at their request that he had essentially shut down his bladder for any sort of urine production. This year, as long as I didn't look or hold the cup, he was able to provide a hearty supply that Gun-Gun then demanded to escort back to the nurse.

"Nuss, hewas brudders peepee." Gross, but cute.

When we got home, things were still going well. I had managed to fold a bazillion loads of laundry and also washed all the new school clothes, even going so far as to organizing drawers and pulling out old clothes. I was feeling like Martha Stewart on meth - thanks to my Dunkin' Donuts coffee high.

After getting a freakish amount of housework and laundry done, I decided to take a much needed break and surf the 'Net for a few. As I plopped myself down on the couch and opened up my laptop, I suddenly heard the sound of my fish tank's water filter click off. The TV then died and my laptop followed behind into the depths of darkness. Did God know I was trying to relax? Was he paying me back for only attending church on Easter Sunday? Since when did he monitor coffee breaks?

My kids instantly started running around the house looking for candles and flashlights - and also the generator as "Chowder" (a cartoon with characters named after food) was coming on soon and they needed that TV ready to go. I reminded them it was only 4PM and that we'd be good on the lights for at least a couple of hours and that Chowder could be seen on re-runs. Catastrophe averted.

My thoughts were immediately directed to our well. The murky brown water only met our pipes via a pump ran off of - you guessed it - electricity. When we lose power, we also lose the liquid from the bowels of Hell and no toilet will go flushed and no shower will clean stinky children. The saying, "if it's mellow let it yellow" rings true in our house during power outages. Any sort of solids must either be retained or deposited at a neighbor's house. It's just not pretty and it's quite embarrassing to have to find a #2 house for your prairie doggin' child.

After I calmed the kiddos, I decided to try and investigate what had happened. It's not uncommon for us to lose power during stormy or windy weather and we tend to lose power several times during the winter but on this day, it was gorgeous outside without a nasty cloud in sight. I looked out my front window and immediately saw a huge column of white smoke floating above my orchard. I instantly thought that maybe one of my wayward neighbors had once again drank their lunch and crashed into a power pole.

I grabbed my cellphone and ran outside expecting to see the worse. While running out the door, I called our local fire department (Fortuna Volunteer Fire Department - they totally rock, by the way) and requested they come out and save my orchard. My little golden orbs of peachy goodness are just about ready to harvest and the idea of a fire shook me to my peach pitty core.

As I stepped out my front porch, this is what I saw. I believe you can call it a "clue."

Nope, no drunken neighbor, just a stupid ivy covered tree limb that finally gave in to the weight of the organic creepiness invading it's bark. It was right next to the shrubbery and trees that PG&E had come and trimmed last year. Ironic, huh? It completely took out the power lines to my house and my house only. The only house in the neighborhood with three stinky children who demand running water and fresh episodes of "Chowder."

The Fortuna Volunteer Fire Department arrived on scene and quickly determined there was no fire and that the arcing lines had caused the smoke. They blocked the road off, much to the dismay of my neighbors, and waited until PG&E arrived to fix our little problem.

While waiting for PG&E, I called Hubby to let him know what was going on.

Hubby: Hello?
Mommazilla: Hey hon, how's it going?
Hubby: Good. What's up?
Mommazilla: Oh nothing. The power's out.
Hubby: Really? That's weird. I wonder what happened.
Mommazilla: Well, the tree limb took out our lines. But don't worry, the fire department's here.
Hubby: Fire? What?
Mommazilla: Oh, there was a little smoke, too. No worries. Just some arcing wires.
Hubby: Ok, now listen to me, you need to make sure you keep the kids away from those wires. It can seriously - I interrupt him.
Mommazilla: What do you mean? They're out there jump roping with them right now. It's good sturdy cable and they seem no worse for wear. Why should I take away their fun?
Hubby: What?
Mommazilla: I'm joking. Seriously, did you really need to tell me that?
Hubby: Well, I, uh...
Mommazilla: It's under control. Come home when you can.

I then went back in and checked on my little heathens. I found them in our playroom with the door shut. Taterbug told me she had carefully evaluated each room, determining the amount of electrical outlets and lamps that may catch fire should a fire reach our home. She determined the playroom had the fewest outlets and the smallest lamp so she sequestered her little brothers into the room. She confessed to me that she had broken down and cried twice but that she had never lost control of her little brothers. I gave her a big hug and told her to relax. I was so proud of her mothering and protecting abilities. This kid would do anything for her brothers even though they drive her bonkers most of the time.

I then went back outside and watched Santa Claus (or at least that's what my kids called him) work on our power lines:

When Hubby got home, we allowed the kids to take a closer peak and Gun-Gun was thoroughly impressed:

We didn't have power until well after 9PM that night, just about when we actually needed some lights. The kiddos spent the night at the grandparents so they wouldn't have to miss a much needed shower or their episode of "Chowder." As far as the tree goes, well, it's gonna meet it's maker this weekend since the wayward limb was only a little part of it's problem of overall rottenness. Even though it was scary and a pain in the butt to deal with, at least it was only a limb and not the whole tree - which, by judging how the tree looks could of easily been the case.