I think I'm missing my girl gene. You know, the little gene scientifically proven to make women love chick flicks. The one that causes appropriate tears during movies like the "Titanic" or "Steel Magnolias." I evidently was born without this estrogen rich gene causing me much grief in the girlfriend arena.

The other night was "Girlfriend Night" and a bunch of us met up and decided to go see "Mama Mia." You know, the movie with all the ABBA songs? All million or so of them? Not that I was counting after the 25th song. Everyone loved this movie. The people in the theater were laughing hysterically. One woman behind us sounded like a frickin' hyena everytime a middle-aged actress donned a spandex suit and broke into an ABBA song (which was practically every scene). I knew I was in trouble as soon as the opening scene hit and we were instantly thrown into a flurry of songs that I had once loved as a pre-teen. The cheesy acting and over the top dancing placed me firmly on the edge of insanity.

As I sat in my seat, slowly curling into the fetal position, I thought about crawling into my popcorn bucket and hiding under the stale styrofoam kernels. I even contemplated kicking my own ass for paying $8.50 and wasting away two hours of my life that I'll never get back. I was horrified that after only five minutes, my teeth were screaming from the amount of sugary sweetness being vomitted onto the audience. I wanted to go home. I needed to clean my psyche up with the Die Hard series or better yet, a couple of Rambo movies. I just needed something to balance me out and talk me off the ledge.

I won't bore you with the details of the movie and if I complain anymore I might actually develop internet stalkers from the vast amount of people who actually loved this movie; Such as the six or so girlfriends who looked at me with pure hatred when I quietly proclaimed my disgust of the movie. Talk about peer pressure...I thought they were going to hold me down and paint me pink in the parking lot.

I realize I'm totally in the minority and many people really enjoyed this flick. Good for you. But if your like me, and just didn't enjoy it, show some support. Us female lacking gene ladies (or I guess even men) need to stick together. On a side note, do you want to see a good movie? Check out Alpha Dog. Very intense but a good flick nonetheless. Just a warning, it may boost your testerone levels. For the guys out there subject to "Mama Mia," this maybe a good thing for you.

** Edited to add: I do love some musicals and I'm not a total un-cultured redneck momma. I'm a huge fan of Phantom of the Opera but my all time favorite musicial is "The Pirate Movie" with Kristy McNichol. Here's a couple of my favorite scenes and songs:

Best. Movie. Ever.