I was recently inundated with a bunch of blueberries. Rather than freezing these little blue orbs of goodness or even worse, letting then spoil, I baked until I became a shadow of Martha Stewart. I decided on making two recipes; a batch of moist muffins and a delicious cinnamon crumble. Here are the recipes for your digestional enjoyment:

Cinnamon Blueberry Crumble Bars (special thanks to the Cake Mix Doctor)

This recipe is simple to make and resembles more of a gooey coffee cake when you're done. It pairs perfectly with a hot cup of coffee or a cool glass of milk. Most importantly, it has blueberries and oatmeal in it so it's inherently healthy no matter what the sugar and butter say.

1 package plain yellow or white cake mix
1 cup (2 sticks) of real butter, melted (you can substitute margarine but real butter is the BOMB!)
1 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar (*special note* Pack it well and you'll burn off a few calories)
2 large cackleberries (eggs)
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (I use Pampered Chef Cinnamon/Nutmeg/Yummy spices blend)
2 cups fresh blueberries, rinsed and drained (keep them a little moist because it helps the sugar to adhere better)
1/2 cup granulated sugar

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grease a 9X13 inch baking pan. Place the cake mix, melted butter, oatmeal, brown sugar, eggs, and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Blend with an electric mixer on low speed for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes or, get your cardio done and mix it by hand. Stop the machine and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. The mixture will be very thick. Reserve 1 1/2 cups of the dough for the topping and then transfer the remaining of the mixture into the 9X13 inch baking pan. Using your fingertips, press the mixture evenly over the bottom of the pan so that it reaches all the sides.

Now, take your damp blueberries and mix them with the granulated sugar, coating each plump Violet Beauregarde with sugary goodness. Pour the blueberries onto the dough crust and spread them out evenly with a spoon. Pinch off the pieces of the remaining reserved crust mixture and scatter them over the filling. Place the pan in the oven and bake until the cake is a light brown and bubbling. This will take about 40-45 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven and cool it in the counter for about 30 minutes.

When you're ready to experience heaven, cut the cake into bars, chunks, or heck, just get the spoon out and a tub of vanilla ice cream. Eat and most importantly, enjoy.

Sour Cream Blueberry Muffins

Don't let the sour cream idea freak you out. It makes for a light and delicious muffin that you'll have a hard time just eating one of. Again, this muffin has blueberries and sour cream (which is a milk product - very important for the bones) so it screams, "HEALTH!"

This recipe is a little bit more difficult than what I'm used to because you really have to pay attention to how you add ingredients. It truly makes your muffins fluffier and a lot moister if you follow the given order. Don't make me send the muffin police after you for improper use of a recipe.

4 large cackleberries (eggs)
1 1/4 cup of white sugar
1 1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon (you may also add other spices like nutmeg if you want that sort of flavor)
2 cups sour cream (16 oz. container)
2 cups blueberries

Optional but a very delish addition:

Crumble Top

1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup light brown sugar
6 tbsp. cold real butter
2 tsp. cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Grease 24 muffin cups or line them with paper muffin liners. I did this plus had enough batter left over to make a pan full of 24 mini-muffins. In a large bowl, beat the eggs and then gradually add in the sugar while beating. Continue beating while slowly pouring in the oil. Stir in the vanilla. In a separate mixing bowl, stir together the dry ingredients.

Once everything is mixed, stir the dry ingredients into the egg mixture alternating with the sour cream. Gently fold in the blueberries once everything is mixed up. Scoop the batter into prepared muffin cups. I use a large size cookie scoop so that my muffins are uniform in size. Gotta have a nice set of uniformed muffins ;-).

Once the muffins are ready to go, you'll have a pretty big decision to make...crumble topping or no crumble topping? I prefer the topping because I think it makes a more "homey" muffin. If you choose to do the crumble topping, all you'll need to do is place the crumb mixture ingredients in a bowl and using your fingers or a pastry blender, combine the ingredients until they are crumbly and then spoon over the tops of your muffin batter.

Bake for approximately 20 minutes and then cool them down for as long as you can contain yourself from eating them.

If you try these recipes, let me know what you think. Better yet, share your own blueberry recipes!

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Come fly with me, lets fly lets fly away
If you can use, some exotic booze
Theres a bar in far bombay
Come fly with me, well fly well fly away

Come fly with me, lets float down to peru
In lama land, theres a one man band
And hell toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, well float down in the blue

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
Well just glide, starry eyed
Once I get you up there, Ill be holding you so near
You may here, angels cheer - because were together

Weather wise its such a lovely day
You just say the words, and well beat the birds
Down to acapulco bay
Its perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me, well fly well fly away

~Frank Sinatra as sung by Daffy

Posted by Mommazilla at 02:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Starting this August, I'm gonna get me some college edumacation. That's right, you heard me, I'm gonna be a college student. Keggers, beer slides, and toga parties will be part of my dictionary again, just like it was 10 (or so) years ago. Um, yeah, not so much. In all reality, I've decided to further pursue my love of photography and photo editing by taking two classes on the subject. I'm really excited but at the same time, not "lurving" the idea of homework. But heck, at least it will be homework that I'll probably enjoy, right? Let's hope so. I wonder if I'll be a better student now that I'm paying for my own books?

A special thanks to Monica for the recommendation on the classes.

Posted by Mommazilla at 12:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Well, we're far past the first words uttered by sweet little Gun-Gun, but now we're on to the biggies - like the words that inspire an immediate reaction out of mommy or daddy. Yes, you know the words that every child stumbles upon and then wonders what to do with their new found power of attention. Cuss words, profanity, bad words, whatever you call them, Gunny have discovered the power of the spoken word through the help of fellow family members. His word(s) of choice?

Gawd Damwit!

And yes, there is an exclamation point after that because he says it with such fervor - his little veins poke out the side of his temple and neck as he yells it for whatever reason.

When I first heard him say it a few months back, it was a mimic of a not-so-careful parent (probably me) dealing with some frustration. I was shocked to see my little baby mouth those words and I immediately corrected him and then placed a secret call to Hubby to share the funny story.

Flash forward to this past week. Grandma L watched the munchkins on Sunday morning and Gunny decided to be a holy terror (actually, no worse than normal). After removing his diaper and pooping on his bedroom floor, he then proceeded to let the ducklings out of their cage to have free reign of our household as he knew Grandma L was tied up on poop patrol. While the ducklings chirped, running through the kitchen, a sweet little Gunny followed right behind admiring how "twute" they were. Of course, Taterbug and C-dub seeing the excitement began to scream and laugh all the while egging Gunny on and causing the ducklings to have their own accidents, thankfully on the linoleum.

Grandma L wasn't too happy 'bout this, and emitted the dreaded words that Gunny had previously developed a love for. Gunny, hearing his catch phrase, immediately started uttering it throughout the house in his best Marlboro Man voice.

Gawd Damwit Grandma L!
Gawd Damwit duckies!
Gawd Damwit Tata!
Gawd Damwit Cajun!

When I finally got home, there was a brief mention of the escapades that had befell my house earlier but no mention of the verbal altercation until Taterbug popped up with the comment that Gunny had used the "GD" word again. Grandma L threw her a quick scowl and reminded her that they weren't going to talk about it. Oops Grandma, you got caught! I assured her it wasn't the first or last time we'd hear Gunny use that phrase but that we all needed to be more careful of our household mynah bird.

As I'm writing this post this morning, I can hear Gunny in the kitchen trying to get his Hotwheels out from under the stove. He can't reach them and I hear him say, "Gawd Damwit kars!" C-dub starts laughing and Taters is quick to join in on the fun. I quickly call an informal family meeting and sit Gun-Gun in the time-out chair.

It was cute while it lasted but seriously, I shouldn’t have to worry about censorship for my two-year-old or the fear that he might mouth off in public. We’re going to tackle his utterings by correction and then ignoring the words he's spoken. No more laughing or snickering from anyone, including myself. I’m hoping this works because I’ve never experienced a potty-mouthed toddler before. I really don’t want this to be the start of his criminal history nor the beginnings of an incorrigible juvenile. I’m not interested in having to look up metal file loaf cake recipes so I can visit him in Juvie. Any suggestions? On the discipline – not the recipes :-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Here's a recipe we made today and it was so good I thought I'd pass it on:

(1) day of lukewarm sunshine
(1) freshly turned dirt pile
Approximately (20) gallons of yucky well water
(10) monster trucks
(5) Hotwheels
(2) Dirty little boys
A big handful of giggles

Mix together and enjoy! The fun will last hours and the shower and soap it takes to clean them off, will last just about as long.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

My daughter is fickle. Like a barracuda in the sea of life, the shiniest thing will attract her and she'll quickly move on to the next prey if her attention is diverted. Yes, she's just like her mother. Tater and I have what I like to call, "commitment issues" since we both seem to have visions of grandeur that eventually fade into afterthoughts when the next hobby is presented to us - even if we've already spent a tremendous amount of time and energy on the previous task. A quick peek in my garage will show you the Craftsman rolling cart filled full of unused cake decorating tips. It's parked right next to the art supplies, egg incubators and kitchen supplies that were going to be side projects and superb venues for moneymaking; eh, not so much now that I look back. You can add glitter or sequins to any pile of crap and we'd probably start collecting it. It's just so sad.

Tater has presented this same sort of "barracudesque" (that's my own word) in the sports arena, although Hubby and I have tried to encourage her into doing something - anything - just not the art or sport of coach surfing. Neither of us are huge sports enthusiasts but we do our best to try and encourage our children to be the opposite of their TV and Internet loving parents with "spreadage" issues.

When introducing sports to Tater, we started off with what I thought was a surefire win, soccer. When I was younger, I was a huge soccer fan and played throughout my school career. Every Saturday morning, my mom would lug Uncle R and I to various parks where we'd kick our little hearts out and run 'til we were sweaty and sufficiently muddy (it was always wet during soccer season). When I had my own kids I was confident I would get a at least one soccer player out of the bunch and I was pretty sure it was going to be Tater because she had my short and stocky soccer girl physique.

I mentioned soccer and she asked if you really had to run as much as she had heard. When I told her that yes, you have to run in soccer, she told me that she wasn't too interested in getting sweaty or dirty. Plus, the idea of giving up her Saturday morning sleep-in sessions was just too much for her to handle.

The next introduction to sports came in the form of T-ball, the sport that ALL kids love, right? Wrong. I was barely two months prego with Gunny and in my heightened emotional state, thought it would be a great bonding process to coach her T-ball team. First of all, you cannot successfully keep four, five, and six year olds from picking their noses and making daisy chains while on base. Second of all, no matter how many times the goofy coaches rounds the bases in the correct direction, there will always be one kid who wants to go the opposite way when they actually hit the ball. Let's just say T-ball wasn't her thing; she spent most of her time in the outfield dancing like Hannah Montana or yelling at me when she couldn't hit a "coach pitched" ball. I was obviously sucked as a pitcher because she told me so daily.

We ended her sports career with karate. She quickly realized she was a lover and not a fighter and spent most of the time admiring herself in the mirror. She looked so freakin' adorable doing her little moves and making those verbal outbursts but I just couldn't keep her interested when she found out that you didn't get breaks every 15 minutes and that her teacher actually expected her to work hard. The only day that I actually saw her enjoy herself was when she was sparring and accidentally gave a little kid a bloody nose. I was actually very surprised at her take on the situation as she is normally a very caring little girl. She finally admitted to me that she smiled so much when it happened because the kid was a little jerk to her and she was glad she gave him some "paybacks." Ugh, karate career over until appropriate maturity could be reached. I didn't want a little loaded weapon whoopin' up on fellow first graders.

Hubby and I were about to give up on trying to helping her envelop new hobbies and interests when I saw an ad for the Ferndale Repertory Theater's Young Actor's Workshop. It was a month long program taught by a talented actress named Denise Ryles. If you want to see the embodiment of spunk and charisma, Denise would be the poster child. What a neat lady.

I showed Tater the flyer and asked her is she was interested. I didn't let the desperation of a mother searching for her child's happiness, leak out too badly and I honestly didn't really think she'd be interested. But then again, I thought soccer was going to be a sure thing. I actually saw a sparkle in her eye and she instantly told me she wanted to do it. Her drama queen side had seen the light and she was going to give it a try.

For a month, Tater spent nine hours a week at this workshop and she loved it. She would come home and give me total attitude, professing that she was "acting" and that I needed to "chill out." Yeah, that only worked a coupla times before she learned I didn't appreciate her method acting. She'd also reminded her brothers several times a day that she needed to watch certain shows or listen to certain music, because she was going to be an "Acktohrr" (insert fake British accent and an eyeroll) and "Acktohrrs" had to practice their craft.

It was really nice to see her interested and satisfied in what she was doing. It was also a crack-up to hear her describe practicing in the Ferndale Repertory Theater. She swears that it's haunted and smells like "corpse." I was intrigued that an eight year old would know what "corpse" smelled like, but she assured me that she did. I think she's watched too many Montel Williams/Sylvia Browne shows or perhaps read too many "Ghostbumps" books. She had it dead set in her mind that she and her little acting buddies only had their three practicing days to send the ghosts to the "light." Ok Tater, whatever floats your boat. I just reminded her that she could play "Ghost Whisperer" all she wanted but she still needed to memorize her lines.

Over the weekend, she had her final performance and I was so proud of her. She did great and remembered all her lines. She was quite the little ham and had to be gently removed from the stage after her first performance. She gets that from her dad - I'm the shy one ;-).

Ultimately, the lesson we learned from all this is that you really can't guide your child into any of your own interests. Kids will discover their own likes and dislikes, and on their own time frame. Sure, I'd love to raise a kickass soccer playing girl, but I'm more than satisfied with my little Acktohrr (insert snooty, uppity tone here) and the many performances she brings into our lives.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I'm a gum chewer. I tend to stick to my favorite brands of Orbit and Eclipse and never venture out of the peppermint family. I chew my gum to keep my breath minty fresh and pleasant for those around me. It's a minor production - sugarfree with no lip smacking or bubbles - just some quiet time with my oral fixation.

Last night, I did something major and stepped outside of my chewing gum comfort zone. I made a simple purchase that I hadn't done in years; I bought a pack of berry bubblegum...and I chewed it all. I blew bubbles, smacked my lips, got gum all over my nose and chin from a whopper of a bubble, and thoroughly enjoyed myself for a few hours living vicariously through my "kid" pack. I was young again thanks to my berry bubblegum. When the five pieces were gone, I was a little sad but my jaw was relieved to have a much needed break. It was fun while it lasted.

Today, as I sit here quietly chewing my peppermint Orbitz, I've climbed back into my sugarfree adult life. No bubbles or smacking for me today; I'm working on the "adult" pack.

It's amazing how little things can take you back into the realm of kidness. What sort of things take you back? What gives you a few minutes to take off the adult hat and climb into the kiddie pool? I'd like to try out *reasonable* suggestions ;-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Figuratively speaking, of course. It's been invasion of the deer this week and three beautiful bucks have taken up residency in my orchard. They are engorging themselves on my baby apples and plums, much to my dismay.

Here's the little guy:

Here's the medium sized one:

And finally, the big Daddy:

There is also a beautiful doe with two speckly fawns hanging out in my neighbors yard. It's really neat to see. My poor husband, on the other hand, it starting to get a serious case of buck fever and these walking pieces of backstrap aren't helping!

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

As I was dumping the potty chair out for the sixty millioneth time today, all the while dodging flying Hotwheels, I realized that I was not having a good day in parenting. I think I can speak for many moms and dads when I say we all have our off days as mommies and daddies; and today if one of them for me. I'm just done. I can't really put my finger on anyone reason but I think I can contribute it to three demanding little factors; Taterbug, C-dub and Gun-Gun.

I like being selfish to my own needs but for some reason, the kids just don't go along with this program. Is it too much to ask them to learn how to operate the burners of a stove or boil their own water? No, I didn't think so. Of course I'm joking but I'm seriously thinking of getting them their own Easybake ovens - it'll do the trick on their mac and cheese and it will buy me five more minutes of quiet time. You know, things just taste better when cooked by a light bulb and it is relatively safer than an open flame.

As I sit here hiding, typing and inhaling a piece of chocolate satin pie courtesy of Marie Callender, I do realize that I have days of parenting where I think, "My God! Where's the TV crew? This is some damn good parenting over here!" And then there are days like today where I'm thankful we live in the boondocks and our neighbors are accustomed to the yelling, screaming, and naked children running around our yard.

I think that I have more days of good rather than bad but lately it's been very trying due to the potty training process we have jumped cheeks first into. If you leave Gunny naked from the waist down, he will use the potty like there's no tomorrow. Like a bolt of lightning, he'll streak through the house screaming, "I gots tah pee, Momma!" and then promptly stand in front of the candy dish for his reward of schocolit once the deed is done. He's also been trying to help me out by dumping his own potty chair. Let's just say he's not too good with his aim and my bathroom floor is now spotless thanks to the number of wet mops it's received today.

I don't mind having a half-naked redneck child in my house, but I like to let the kids out to play and it's not that endearing to have your two year old peeing off the front deck of the house trying to hose down the chickens. It's just gross even if it is a little funny. I swear I'm raising a heathen. As long as he doesn't crap in his hand and throw it like the monkeys at the zoo, I think we'll be safe. Time will tell.

I love my kids, I really do, and I thank God each day I'm blessed with their dirty faced presence. I just get the occasional bouts of tiredness and frustration that come along with being a parent. It seems like the bouts have been lingering into one long year especially now that Gunny has hit his two's and seems to be enjoying the torture and reputation an age can bring.

What about you? How do you keep it together when you really don't want to? What kind of wine and sedative combination do you suggest?(!)

I child-proofed my home but they still keep getting in.

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Gunny loves McDonald's and my infatuation with their french fries has not helped the situation. We oftentimes drive by our local Mickey D's on the way to Grandma's and each time, it's a conversation over whether or not we can stop for "frenchy fries." Typically it's a "no" unless the weather is nice and I can run them hard on the germ infested playground to work off their nuggets. I don't feel so guilty letting them eat junk if they are getting a bit of exercise out of the process.

I expected the usual question as I drove by McDonald's today but rather than ask me if we could stop, he held his own conversation:

Gun-Gun: We go to Ickdonalds? Frenchy fries?
Gun-Gun's Other Side: No. No Ickdonalds ooday.
Gun-Gun: Wuhhyyyy?
Gun'Gun's Other Side: Cuz.
Gun-Gun: Ohhh tayyyy.

Problem solved, courtesy of Gun-Gun's dual personalities.

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Amazon.com currently has Photoshop Elements 6 as their "Deal of the Day." They have it on sale for $59.99 with an additional $20 mail-in rebate for those with previous versions. I use PSE6 for all my photo editing because it's simple to use and produces great results. Trust me, I don't think you'll find it any cheaper (about six months ago, I bought my copy for about $120).

Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/goldbox/ref=cs_top_nav_gb27

Posted by Mommazilla at 01:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Children's Place is having their annual Monster Sale. All of their clearance items are an additional 50% off. If you order online (only $5 to ship and less hassle than dealing with the crowds) you can Google for an additional coupon code. I already had a 15% off code due to being a Place Perks member, so in essence, I got 65% off my items. I bought the following for $135 and some change (shipping and taxes included):

11 girls size 8 shirts
3 girls size 8 pairs of denim cargo shorts
2 girls size 8 pairs of bootcut jeans
3 cute pairs of girls shoes
4 3T toddler shirts
3 3T denim cargo shorts
2 3T pairs of carpenter jeans
3 awesome pairs of boy shoes for C-dub

31 items for an average of less than $4.50 a piece! The Eureka store still had a pretty good selection when I went today but I hate dealing with crowds and I had three angry, hungry kids in tow so I really didn't get to look that well. Please have patience with the site because it is getting hit HARD. Also, if you have Ebates, you can get an additional 3% back. Happy shopping!

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Do you order online prints? Do you like to make creations out of your favorite photos? Do you have tons of CD's and camera memory cards with pictures you've never printed? If you said yes to any of those questions, check out artscow.com. I recently heard about this site through one of my photography boards and I'm getting ready to make my own order. They are fairly new to the printing world so they are offering some pretty powerful deals to establish a strong customer base. Right now, if you sign up for an account on their website, they're offering 400 free prints and all you do is pay shipping. I did hear that shipping can be high since the prints are shipped from Hong Kong although their business offices are in Texas.

Here's what I think about them after doing some research:

Pros:

* Cheap prices
* Lots of freebies
* Decent quality for the price
* You can pay with your PayPal account which adds some protection

Cons:

* Expensive shipping
* Takes a bit longer to receive due to where it's shipped from
* The paper is reported to be on the thin side but it is Fuji paper
* The photo uploading on their site can be a bit tedious
* Some of the site's grammar is a bit off but I think it's a language issue

I've googled the crap out of this site and overall, the reviews are on the positive side. It is a little scary to be ordering items from Hong Kong, especially in this day and age, and I strongly suggest you do your own research before placing an order. Also, try to use some sort of account (such as PayPal) that will offer added protection and security of your credit card number. I'm no expert, but I do like good deals without the hassle of identity theft.

On a side note, if you do need prints and you want professional quality, check out mpix.com. I typically use mpix on my very good prints. They have this awesome metallic paper that will really make your pictures "pop" and the prices are not too bad. Their shipping is super fast and reasonable, usually less than $5 on any order. I have been extremely happy with every order I've placed through them.

Good luck and happy picture taking!

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Once upon a time there was a handsome groom and a beautiful bride who decided to get married and have a gorgeous ceremony. The groom, who loves his cell phone almost as much as he loves life himself, decided to keep his cell phone on and in his pocket during the ceremony. One of the groom's friends, also addicted to technology, decides to text the nervous groom with the words, "RUN!", all the while knowing that the phone would go off. Of course, the unexpecting groom reaches for his phone but then suddenly realizes the gravity of the moment and silences the phone, later finding the text.

The moral of the story, you ask? Don't invite Uncle R to your wedding.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I seriously think my two year old has taken up the habit of smoking. Somewhere in the midst of his diapers and wipies, I think he's sequestered a pack of unfiltered Camels and a lighter - for his smoking pleasure. No, I haven't noticed his pudgy little fingers turning a tarry brown color nor has he developed premature wrinkling around his mouth and eyes. But, he has the sound - you know, the husky, sexy smoker's drawl - that low rumbling Marlboro Man of a two year old kind of voice. And the best thing is that he can turn it on and off, mainly when he's torked at a sibling or at mom and dad.

This morning, my little Marlboro Man woke up in a rather grumpy mood and stumbled into our bedroom around the ripe 'ole time of 6AM. He instantly came in demanding his cocoa and was none to happy to hear that neither mom nor dad were interested in getting up and fixing it for him. His sweet little pleas turned into the angry little smoker and Hubby finally gave in just to have some peace and quiet.

When I was finally in alert mode around 9AM (I don't do mornings), he again whipped out the Marlboro Man side and attempted to bully me out of a second cup of cocoa and some three year old ho-ho's he found in the junk drawer. As a mother, I'm impermeable to threats and I'm not usually effected by the ever loving "puppy dog" face (parents, you know what I'm talking about - lip trembling, slight welling of the tears, etc.) but this rumbling growl that emitted from his tiny body was something I was not prepared for. I was aghast at such nastiness and the look in his eyes meant business. So rather than giving in, we negotiated a breakfast deal. He could have a bite of the three year old ho-ho's, but then he have to chase it with a bowl of cereal sans the cocoa. He growled in agreement and used his best Marlboro Man husky voice to say, "Tanks Mamuh."

I'm very happy that he's becoming a more verbal creature but I'm finding that along with the sweetness comes the sourpuss. He has a hot little temper (no idea where he got that from, wink, wink!) and now he's just able to express it better through his sexy smoker's growl. It's really hard not to laugh when you hear it, but I think that just torks him off even more. Ahhh, the joy of the terrible twos...why did it seem so much easier with my older two?

Posted by Mommazilla at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I would be absolutley remiss not to mention this special day to all of you. My baby brother, Uncle R, has turned the big 3-0, and I feel so old.

In light of this traumatic event, I've created a poem in his glorious honor:

To My Little Brother

Thirty years ago today,
a little boy was born to play.
With blondish hair and eyes of blue,
and a strange affininity for playing with pooh.
Oh how I loved being your buddy,
playing all day until we were muddy.
You were my bestfriend and I stil consider you the same,
I'm sorry this poem is so flucking lame.

Happy birthday little dude! Love, smooches and hugs from your favorite big Sis!

Posted by Mommazilla at 05:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

One of my favorite hens went missing about a month ago. Because of where we live, I figured that she had become the unfortunate victim of a hungry raccoon family. Imagine my surprise when I found this:

And this:

And a little more fuzzy goodness for good measure:

We are now the proud owners of three adorable little yellow chicks and two black chicks. Mother and babies are doing well :-), and grandma is still in shock.

Posted by Mommazilla at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Some current picks of my teenagers:

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

That's exactly what I told myself last February. After gimping my poor 50 lb. Sony Vaio laptop along for over five years, I decided it was time to treat myself to a new laptop. When it arrived in the mail, I admired it's sleekness; it was so responsive when I touched the buttons and touchpad I could just cry. It truly was a beautiful thing. And the best part? It didn't sound like a jet engine everytime it got warm and the fan kicked on. I could sit in bed for hours, just me and my Dell.

Fast forward to a few days ago...my Dell and I had an argument and it threw a tantrum by refusing to run correctly. The little bastard was vomiting up error codes right and left and with my limited computer expertise, I knew it was time to take it into the shop. I cursed the little jerk the whole way there because he was totally bogarting my 2,000+ photos, refusing to allow me to franticly download them to a flashdrive. Why, little Dell? Why do you have to be so mean? Do you really wanna see Momma cry?

When my computer guy looked at it, he said he would do what he could to salvage my pics but my hard drive was blown. My Dell had suffered some sort of massive computer heart attack at the ripe 'ole age of five months. Now I sit here, typing in the midst of a terrible angst, knowing that I'll have to deal with Dell customer service and come to terms with the fact that I was an idiot and should have been backing everything up. Now I know, no computer is invincible - not even my baby Dell.

My PSA for today is: BACK UP YOUR COMPUTER! IF YOU WANT THE FILES, THEN BACK THEM UP!!! There, I feel much better now. Please don't be the one to ever have to sit in my lonely, pictureless shoes. It truly sucks. I now have 572 "houseless" pictures sitting on my camera's memory card. Why? Because the dang files are too big to load on my barney of a desktop. I can sit and admire them on a two-inch LCD screen and dream of the memories I may have created...

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

...through DNA. The story is here. It's so sad it's taken this long to clear the poor family and the mom didn't even get a chance to see it happen (she passed away from cancer in 2006 - 10 years after JonBenet was murdered). I admit, with all that was released publicly, I also believed the parents had something to do with the murder, although I never really saw a reason as to why someone would want to do that. Everyone pointed a finger at the parents and even son (who was only 9, for cripes sake) and the reason behind the murder was left to go unknown.

It's also sad that the family may never be vindicated by finding out who actually murdered their precious daughter. I hope this new discovery at least gives them a little solace and allows time to heal some of the wounds they have sustained over the past twelve years. Can you believe it's been that long? It certainly doesn't seem like it.

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

And to think my 1976 Ford Granada didn't make the list. Shoot, she's precious to me.

Top 10

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Will be posted today. I promise. My five-month old laptop decided to take a crap on me yesterday and is now in the computer hospital. After spending three hours in ICU with it, my family was worn out ;-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

He has a girlfriend. And she's hung around for just about six months. Gosh, I know, I can't believe it either - we even showed her the old photos, told her the gross-out stories, and I even warned her as a big sister does - but she keeps comin' back. The best thing about it is she likes to take pictures and they let me snap some this weekend. I'm always looking for willing victims and when you have one that likes to have fun, all the better for the shots. Here's a coupla of my captures (and for pictorial proof that she's not an inaminate blow-up doll, just kidding Uncle R):

And one more of Uncle R because he doesn't think he looks like a hottie - sorry Ry, you are:

Posted by Mommazilla at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

As some of you know, the Times-Standard recently published a couple of my blogs in print and in the online edition. I was extremely proud to have my "stuff" put out there and couldn't wait to see what sort of comments I'd receive. My pride was quickly diminished once the comments turned extremely negative and self-serving to a few anonymous internet trolls. Rather than comment on the content of my blogs, they chose to make painful personal attacks that came across very juvenile and perhaps even hinting of an underlying jealousy they had of my own family life. It pissed me off to no end that people could come on and post anonymous, hurtful comments; kinda like someone running up to you in a dark room, punching you and running out.

I got over the experience by realizing there will always be cowards and people that don't like you no matter what you write or are perceived to think. Yes, the comments were hurtful but on a positive note, they at least showed me that someone was reading. It also showed me a positive side, as some of my readers left very positive thoughtful and kind comments. Some of then rather hilarious, if you ask me.

Why am I re-hashing this? Why am I bringing this up again since I've already previously whined about it in this blog? It's because of this story. Leroy worked with my dad for my years and his son played soccer with my little brother. They were and are a great family. Unfortunately, the comments section on this article led to the typical trolls coming out and making hurtful, disparaging comments against a family who just lost their dad and husband. Some of the comments may have been inspired by an inaccurate press release or a reporter who got their facts mixed up; but whatever the case, some of the comments were absolutely uncalled for and terrible. A widow should not have to come onto a forum and defend her deceased husband; it's disgusting and cruel.

I personally "reported" some of these comments and I know that some of the other posters did as well. However, the mean and spiteful comments still remain as a reminder to the grieving family that some people are just a*holes. What a positive light these comments have shed on the Times-Standard as now the family is urging their friends and family to cancel their subscriptions. And you know what? I agree with them 100%. To have your deceased loved one called a "drunk redneck" is like rubbing salt into an open wound. These comments should not be allowed to remain and as of right now, they are still there.

To the Hall family, I'm so sorry for your loss and I grieve for you. To the Times-Standard, shame on you. If you're going to have a comments section, at least provide some sort of immediate moderation. You are re-victimizing a family who's lost so much by allowing hatred to spill into this story. I'm all for free speech but speech that comes from hate spewing mongrels is unacceptable and will not be tolerated by your loyal readers - some of whom you may have already lost.

Posted by Mommazilla at 03:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Have a safe and wonderful 4th of July. Be proud to be an American and help celebrate her birthday by giving thanks for the freedoms we enjoy. Here's a little help from my buddy the Muppets:

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The kids have nicknamed the ducklings Feisty, Spike, and Cutie. I think the names sound reminiscent of the "Flavor of Love" galz - not necessarily a good thing:

So I need your help. Give our ducklings a name! With the help of my favorite retired Avon lady, I have put together a prize package guaranteed to keep you gorgeous during these hot summer months. Oh yeah, if you live in Humboldt, I'll be sure and include an umbrella and a scarf.

The rules are simple; leave a comment with your three (3) names. In a week (next Monday the 7th), my family will choose the winning names. If we like multiple names then we may just choose to hyphenate and award more than one prize - I've got a lot of junk to giveaway :-). And don't worry, it will not include anything that chirps, tweets, or growls.

Here's some current pics of the little ones, just for inspiration:

Ducks On The Run (you'd run too if you had a 30 lb. toddler chasing you)

Momma Duck

Green Grass Adventures

Gettin' Big!

Thanks for lookin' and don't forget to have your name entry in by next Sunday (the 6th) night. We'll pick and announce the winning entry(ies) on Monday (the 7th).

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (36)

If you shop at Gap, you might want to stop by tomorrow. I heard a rumor that all of their clearance will be marked down an extra 25% off tomorrow. Not sure if it's true or not but wanted to pass it along...

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! You've cut off your hair!
Your billowing tresses are no longer there.
That mohawk you're sporting is spiky and pink.
I'm really not certain just what I should think.

"I came here expecting to clamber a braid,
ascending your tower to come to your aid.
Instead I have suffered the greatest of shocks
to find that you've cut off your lovely blonde locks."

"Prince Charming, Prince Charming," Rapunzel replied,
"I have no intention of being your bride.
We will not get married. We will not elope.
I've cut off my hair and I've braided a rope.

"You came here to visit me once every day,
and promised that soon you would take me away,
but you were too clueless to even concieve
of cutting my hair off so we could just leave.

"I cannot believe you were such a big dope.
I come and I go as I please with my rope.
And so, I'm afraid I can't give you my hand.
In spite of the fabulous wedding you planned."

From then on Rapunzel was known through the land.
She toured the world in a rock and roll band.
And silly Prince Charming, with rocks in his head,
rode off and got married to Snow White instead.

--Kenn Nesbitt

I love this poem because it reminds me of my own little "Rapunzel" and her buddy "L," who spent some time with us yesterday. Two headstrong little girls who will hopefully stay that way into adulthood.

Taterbug has gotten used to the fact that whenever she has friends over, they have to deal with me begging and pleading for just a coupla pictures. Yesterday, the girls agreed but they ended up goofing off so much that our pictures ended up, well, not so serious but cute nonetheless.

Thanks for looking!

Posted by Mommazilla at 01:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

What would you do if you found a German bunker in your backyard? Here's what one person did and it's absolutely fascinating. We recently found an old well on our property and had such a blast cleaning it out. Our "finds" included bottles, tires, and broken down farm equipment, but we were so impressed nonetheless. I can only imagine the amazing things this guy is discovering.

Thanks to Ashley's Closet for the original link.

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)