This is a conversation that took place over the weekend while Hubby and Grandpa D were doing some house repairs for Grandma Linda. C-dub had went along for the ride as he's Hubby's right hand man when it comes to fixin' stuff.

It's not for the faint of heart but it is very funny. Read if you dare...

C-dub: Dad, you know what? I really like screwin'. He's holding a screwdriver in his hand and looking ever so innocent.
Grandpa D: Chokes on his coffee.
Hubby: Swallowing his surprise and thinking, oh my God, how do I answer this without totally losing it?. That's great. How many times have you done it, C-dub?
C-dub: Just once Dad.
Hubby: That's good C-dub. Now go play.
C-dub: But Dad! I weally wanna scwuw somethin'! Weally bad Dad! I like scwuwin' so much! He's still clenching his screwdriver.
Hubby: In a few minutes, C-dub. Shaking his head. C-dub finally wanders off, somewhat satisfied.
Grandpa D: Finally swallows his coffee. Relieved that the moment is over.

Grandpa D and Hubby share a brief moment of silence and a quiet reckoning that one day, C-dub might actually mean what he says. He better not - or some sort of chastity belt for boys will be on two-day order from Amazon.com.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Dear, sweet, little Taterbug loves to help me with Gun-Gun, especially when she can tell that Gun-Gun's worn out his welcome with Mommazilla. Today was no exception, as I was trying to prepare a somewhat healthy dinner all the while entertaining Gun-Gun who wanted to "Squeeeeeze!" Mommazilla's legs. Judging from the higher octaves in my voice, Taterbug offered to supply Gun-Gun with an endless supply of "horseyback rides" in exchange that I'd remember her kindness when it came time for allowance handouts.

As I skinned the fresh caught squirrel and possum (gotcha for a second, didn't I?!), Taterbug went round and round our kitchen and living room. Gun-Gun was squealing in delight and C-dub and his little buddy, J-dub, were cracking up at their antics. However, the squealing soon changed into screams from Taterbug as she proclaimed that Gun-Gun had peed on her. She promptly dropped him on his little padded diaper butt and began reaching around towards her back, feeling for the wet spot.

C-dub, watching the show, explained to Taterbug, "That's not pee, Sissy. He pooped on you! That's so disgustin'!" And the laughter ensued from both he and J-dub. Taterbug had a look of panic and quickly looked at me so that I could dispel C-dub's proclamation that the wetness was caused by natural brewed fudge sauce. As she turned around, I saw the clear sign that Gun-Gun was part leprechaun as she had a smear of green across her freshly cleaned Cheetah Girls shirt.

I couldn't help myself and I started to crack-up. This caused C-dub and J-dub to laugh even harder and then Gun-Gun started to giggle, all the while pulling at his droopy butt and complaining that he had "pooh-farted." In her game of "horseyback riding" she had inadvertently bounced the remnants of a nasty diaper, all the way down little Gun-Gun's legs and in turn, all over her back. It was quite the moment of chaos.

When the dust finally settled, I was able to get Taterbug into a clean shirt and Gun-Gun once again had a clean hiney. The boys were lectured about making Taterbug feel bad and I also verbally reprimanded myself (just for looks since Taterbug was watching) for laughing – although it was pretty damn funny. I guess if it was my favorite Cheetah Girls shirt, I’d probably feel a tad bit different.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We just had another earthquake. Here's what I found here:

Magnitude 5.4 - duration magnitude (Md)
Time Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 8:03:06 PM (PDT)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008 at 3:03:06 (UTC)
Distance from Willow Creek, CA - 18 km (11 miles) ESE (114 degrees)
Blue Lake, CA - 42 km (26 miles) E (97 degrees)
Hayfork, CA - 42 km (26 miles) NW (315 degrees)
Eureka, CA - 56 km (35 miles) E (85 degrees)
Sacramento, CA - 307 km (191 miles) NW (326 degrees)
Coordinates 40 deg. 50.2 min. N (40.836N), 123 deg. 29.7 min. W (123.495W)
Depth 17.9 km (11.1 miles)
Location Quality Fair
Location Quality Parameters Nst=140, Nph=140, Dmin=49 km, Rmss=0.18 sec, Erho=0.3 km, Erzz=1.4 km, Gp=93.6 degrees

Holy crap! A 5.4?! It seriously did not feel that strong down here in the Eel Valley. While I find earthquakes a little exciting, I still get the same anxiety wondering if this will be the "one." If you don't already have an emergency plan or at least some items to get you through at least a week (should services be entirely shutdown), you might want to reconsider. You can never be too prepared because the "big one" is inevitable.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I love lilacs. This time of year,when I go outside, my favorite purple beauty greets me with a wonderful fragrance and beautiful blooms. She's lived through a rambunctious weed-eating husband, a hungry goat, and is currently battling roosting chickens. I'm not sure what the other buttery bush is. It hangs precariously near the creek that runs through our property so I haven't been able to get a proper look at it. Can anyone tell me what it is? I initially thought it was a Snowball tree but the blooms just don't look the same.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

My favorite apple tree proved very entertaining this morning. She gave me this shot:

And then some of her "ladies in waiting" provided this one:

I can't wait until October :-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This might be old news, but I just heard that the government stimulus payments are being sent out earlier than originally planned. The payment sent date is based on the last two of your Social Security and some people have already received their payment through direct deposit. To check your date, go here. To use a calculator and see how much you'll be getting back, go here. From what I hear, be sure and have your tax returns handy and don't guestimate on the numbers because it can really throw your actual total off. Finally, if you have basic questions about whether or not you're even qualifying for this payment, go here.

Posted by Mommazilla at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I don't consider myself to be a very religious person but I do believe in "signs." Like, I drive past McDonald's and there's no one in the drive-thru plus I have an extra three bucks in my pocket. Yes, that's completely a sign that I need to swing in and buy a McFlurry. Or, I see a plate with a couple of cookies on it in my kitchen and I need just one more plate to fill the dishwasher up - yep, you guessed it, another sign.

Well, today the signs were not too nice to me today as they were directed towards my love of ice cream. I love ice cream, especially when I can eat it by myself and not share. Selfish - yes, but I don't care. It just so happened that this morning, I realized if I used the rest of the milk for my cereal, I'd have to go to the store before Gun-Gun could have his morning hot cocoa. Not wanting to torture my youngest heathen, I opened the freezer and saw the delicious glow of a half gallon of Schwan's chocolate chip ice cream.

I quietly removed the box in order to prevent any vertically challenged roommates from hearing what I was doing. I then broke out the caramel and hot fudge sauce, as I knew that I'd need the extra calories today since we might go on a walk later. You must stock pile energy and dessert toppings are an excellent source. With the toppings heating, I then addressed the frozen happiness.

But the delectable dessert wasn't having it. It was beyond frozen; it was fossilized. I broke out a steak knife and began gnawing at it as if I were sawing a log in half like a pioneer woman. When that didn't work, I broke out my favorite mini spatula (thanks Pampered Chef!) and began hacking away. Finally, relief came in the form of three two inch blocks of ice cream with a wad of gooey caramel and hot fudge. I then sequestered myself in my bedroom with the TV blaring a movie showing on LMN - the most addicting channel on TV.

Perhaps it was a sign that I shouldn't be eating ice cream sundaes for breakfast, or maybe it just wasn't. Maybe the higher power who was watching me struggle through breakfast was actually making things more difficult in order that I had a forced session of exercise. Whatever the case maybe, I thoroughly enjoyed my breakfast and the 50,000 calories it contained.

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Gun-Gun intently stared at this poor plastic chicken for quite awhile, trying to figure out why in the world she had such a large hole in her butt. He patiently waited for a few minutes and anticipated when the next bubble gum egg was going to emerge and make him giggle. Evidently, the chicken was molting and refused to lay for the eager toddler - which made for a happy Mommazilla as I didn't have to pluck any chewing gum from his hair.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here's a picture I took when we stayed at the Whaleshead Resort, which is just outside of Brookings, Oregon. The resort offered these tunnels as your best access to the beach, as they ran directly under Hwy 101. At a little over 700 feet long and very dark, they were a fun adventure for us to experience as a family. We yelled many echoes through it and were creeped out but only just a little. We did have three manly men with us to serve as protectors...what else could we women-folk ask for?!

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Now that Gun-Gun has reached the ripe 'ol age of two and a quarter, I really believe that he's taken huge steps towards major testosteroney manliness. Thanks to the infinite wisdom of Hubby and C-dub, Gun-Gun is becoming aware of his machismo and is demonstrating this on a daily basis. He's quickly learning the ways of "man"kind and is showing Mommazilla, that he's a quick study.

An example of his impending manhood can be seen in our trip down potty training lane. While he's a tad bit young for potty training, we went ahead and purchased a cute little potty seat. Gun-Gun will park his naked little cheeks on the seat and announce that he's "pooh-farted" although there is no evidence to support his claim. Once he gets relaxed, he'll take the time to check his "junk" and provide whoever's watching with a long dissertation about his "weenah." So far, I've come to the conclusion that the potty seat is best used for holding excessive Hotwheels that have made it successfully out of the bathtub. Hopefully, we'll have him potty-trained by the time he gets his driver's license.

Another example of his dudeness can be observed in a conversation I overheard between Hubby and Gun-Gun. The newest "guy" thing Gun-Gun has learned is the ability to place a perfectly manicured fingernail into a rather clean little nostril and find the most disgusting little creatures, fondly called "boogahs." Gun-Gun was happily drilling away today when Hubby decided to interrupt:

Hubby: Are you picking your nose buddy?
Gun-Gun: Yeahhhh. Still picking.
Hubby: Did you find anything in there?
Gun-Gun: Slowing down. Yeahhhhh.
Hubby: Did it taste a little salty?
Gun-Gun: Completely stopping and pondering at the wisdom just presented to him. Yeah!

I 'm excited to see Gun-Gun's little personality coming out, but I just wish he wasn't such a little "boy." It's funny, because even C-dub was a little more refined than his baby brother. I don't remember C-dub ever taking great enjoyment in eating dog food, drinking out of mud puddles, and purposely dropping his food on the floor in order to slurp it off the linoleum. He's a strange little dude but we love him. It will be interesting to see what he learns next.

Posted by Mommazilla at 06:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Duncan the dog entered our life earlier this year, as Grandma Linda's new best friend and companion. Grandma Linda had always wanted a "Lassie" dog and did a ton of research before eventually finding and adopting Duncan. She was as an adorable little 10 week old fuzzball complete with delectable puppy breath and sharp little teeth and claws. Extremely shy at first, her personality eventually broke through her thin shell and she became a permanent fixture on Grandma Linda's lap - even though she was a tad bit big to be a lap dog. She loved slippers and rawhides, and was especially fond of Gun-Gun as he was the messiest eater of the group and always had something to share. No one could completely correct Duncan because her chocolaty brown eyes always melted your heart and that regal face assured you that she could do no wrong.

If you haven't yet noticed, I'm writing in the past tense about Duncan. Due to an unfortunate accident today, Duncan was struck by a passing motorist, after she had briefly escaped out the front door. Grandma Linda and the motorist immediately scooped Duncan up and transported her to the nearest vet in Fortuna, only to find that it was closed for lunch. They moved on to another vet and also found that they were closed. Panicking and grief stricken, Grandma Linda realized that the lunch hour was nearing ending, so they went back to the original vet’s office only to find that the vet would not be in for two hours. However, the vet's office was able to provide Grandma Linda with the business card for an emergency vet in Eureka. She and the motorist then drove to Eureka and found that the card had an incorrect address and they were once again forced to drive to another office. This final jaunt was futile because they quickly learned that Duncan’s injuries were so severe that she would more than likely not survive. Grandma Linda made the difficult decision to end Duncan’s suffering and she held her while the vet administered final peace to her best friend.

Just to put this in perspective, for over an hour Duncan suffered through two compound fractures, two dislocated hips, and a spinal cord injury. Evidently, she didn't realize that getting hit during lunchtime is not the best idea. I'm not saying that should she have received medical attention any earlier, she would have survived because we know that’s not the case. But, having to drive your loved one to five different places (including two different towns) just to receive emergency treatment, is both frustrating and extremely sad. Yes, fate dealt us a nasty hand of cards today and maybe this accident could have been prevented, however, the aftermath of the accident was probably even more traumatic for Grandma Linda than the accident itself.

Rest in peace Duncan. We love you.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

The Children's Place is having a great sale in their online outlet. Their outlet clothes are at least 50% off and if you use code S1A48, you can get an additional 15% off. Shipping is only $5 and their selection was great as of this morning. I paid about $122 and got 32 items for my three kiddos. You may be able to find some deals in-store as well. Happy shopping!

Posted by Mommazilla at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

When I was a little girl, my parents volunteered to help a friend demolish their old barn. In turn, my parents would salvage what they could of the lumber and the friend would have a nice bare spot for a new woodshed. Initially, it was a great idea and a win-win for all those involved; however, I quickly learned why married couples should (1) never build together and (2) never tear apart an ancient structure with two whining kids present (Uncle R and myself).

My parents tried to "sell" us on the project by emphasizing how much fun we'd have picking up nails, helping stack dirty wood, and *gasp* even better, dodging the angry chickens that were pissed off we were taking their house. Even at 10 years old, I knew that their form of fun was actually kid punishment with a thinly spread layer of saccharine to "inspire" our work abilities (or lack thereof, as they quickly found out). But at our tender ages of 10 and 8, we were pretty much equivalent to indentured servants so we had no choice but to obey our parent's request of child torture.

The demolition started off without much ado or yelling – mainly because my dad was working the chainsaw and couldn’t hear my mom voicing her concerns in the form of four letter words and unsavory hand gestures. Mom was our supporter in that she didn’t really see the need for more stinky old lumber to clutter up our backyard. But dad couldn’t be swayed from a freebie or from the opportunity of getting to run his chainsaw for insane amounts of time.

As we progressed into the project, Uncle R and I found that we had time to explore our surroundings and get to know the “locals.” One such local was a retarded chicken named “Lumpy.” Now, I don’t really know if the word “retarded” is politically correct, but we’re talking about a freakin’ chicken that’s more than likely in poultry paradise (a.k.a. Heaven) so I really don’t think she’d be complaining too much.

Lumpy was a little black hen that would follow us around the yard, chattering her incessant complaints about the weather or current bug shortage. As I previously mentioned, Lumpy had a few issues that brought about her owners to call her the “retarded chicken.” One such problem was that she didn’t quite seem to have a handle on her equilibrium and had a tendency to walk sideways. She’d make up for the goofy walk by cocking her head and looking at you, at a very odd angle. And to top it all off, poor Lumpy had a bad attitude with the other ladies in the yard and tended to get into scraps that she normally didn’t win. This caused her to have a feather shortage on the top of her head and neck, almost as if she had a feather mullet. She was the epitome of “Joe Dirt” in the chicken world. And did I mention that she had a few fatty tumors here and there? These little beauty blemishes helped to solidify her unique name.

Uncle R and I took pity on Lumpy and would help her out by finding her bugs and succulent snail eggs so that she could have a peaceful gourmet dinner with people who truly appreciated her. In turn, she’d occasionally lay us a goofy looking egg and we’d splat it – too afraid we’d catch something funky if we ate the contents. She'd follow us around the barnyard, supervising our activities. We we quickly became her own "brood" since God was wise and did not allow her to hatch her own little "Lumpy" chicks.

Our relationship continued on throughout the demolition and we were sad to say goodbye when the final piece of lumber was salvaged. But it was time to go and my parent’s marriage was also in need of a good salvation, as the constant bickering and fighting had taken its toll on their relationship. My parents stayed in touch with their friends and they told us that Lumpy lived a long and happy life as their token "retarded" chicken. We never did see Lumpy again but I think she managed to leave memorable hen pecks in our hearts as I now have my own chickens - but unfortunately, no one has been as memorable as Lumpy.

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I love a good trashy romance novel. A quick read with minimal plot but lots of charisma and sexy characters will do me just fine. I keep a special basket of such books next to the toilet because it seems like the only time I have lately to read is when I'm in the privacy of my own bathroom. Even then, I'm usually accompanied by Gun-Gun who's critiquing my every move, and commenting that he's "pooh-farted" in his own potty chair. Yes, it's a glamorous life but someone has to live it.

For the most part, Hubby stays out of my basket while he's doing his business and instead, partakes amongst a new issue of some hunting magazine or Harbor Freight. Tonight, for whatever reason, he decided to delve into the forbidden basket and shower me with his own emotional reading. As I sat on my bed perusing the 'net I could hear him talking loudly through the bathroom door. My attention shifted to his voice and I could hear the familiar ramblings of my current novel, being brought to life by my amorous husband.

Initially, I was intrigued to hear his version; however, this intrigue turned to disgust once I heard the constant pausing due to his attention being drawn to other personal matters. I begged for him to stop reading, and to quit defiling both my book and the bathroom. He finally stopped and emerged from his sanctuary with a huge grin on his face.

Needless to say, I will never be able to read that certain book without the memories he provided me tonight. I guess I should appreciate the efforts he put forth into our love life but lovin' just ain't the same coming through a bathroom door.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Why is it that Diego has GPS and Dora only has a map? Doesn't seem quite fair now, does it?

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Have you ever seen someone do something on the _____ (insert appropriate roadway here) that was so utterly stupid you practically begged to have a cop around so they'd at least get caught? And then after you mumbled the profanities under your breath, complaining that there's never a cop around, the jerk turns off the ______ (insert appropriate roadway here) and is forever lost to the God of Karma. It’s enough to make you want to scream – and in fact I have. I have berated and cussed out a number of idiot drivers, even though they have no clue they have fell victim to my verbal tongue lashing. I felt better after the fact, and the silent voodoo curse I placed upon their sorry butt(s) was surely to provide me with appropriate payback.

However, my faith in humanity and lost cops for that matter, was recently restored due to the actions of an awesome Humboldt County Sheriff’s Department deputy.

My kiddos and I were travelling southbound on HWY 101, at the slow and steady pace of 67 miles per hour. The 'ole Granada really starts to shimmy and shake above this tremendous speed so I decided to take it a bit easy rather than risk losing an engine or tire on the highway. As we approached the Ferndale exit, I suddenly realized that I had a rather large tick on my bumper in the shape of gray Porsche. As the idiot driver rode my tail (in the slow lane for that matter), he finally passed me and then four or five more Porsches (all with Washington plates and the same sort of dark color) also flew by me, followed by a handful of tricked out, dark colored Hondas.

As I watched the yuppy patrol zoom past me, I watched them speed and drive absolutely recklessly down the highway. They were weaving in and out of the lanes of traffic, around each other and the cars that happened to get in their path(s) were forced to move over to oblige them. I started to mumble about the freakin’ cops when all of a sudden, a knight in a white Ford Expedition pulled out directly in front of the oncoming path of the racers. It was a Humboldt County Sheriff’s Department deputy. The deputy swerved in the roadway and made his way through both lanes of travel, slowing down the speeding cars. The deputy then pulled to the side of the road, got out, and flagged each and every one of those cars down. It was AMAZING!

By this time, I had to take my exit but I was so happy those racing jackasses were getting the attention they deserved. My kids were cheering and couldn’t wait to get home and tell Hubby about the adventure they had just witnessed. I have no clue if the buttheads even got a ticket or whether or not they all pulled over, but the joy of seeing justice served, was enough satisfaction and excitement for us. The effort that this deputy made to make the highway safer is much appreciated and I’d like to say a big THANKS!

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

People have been acting really strange lately...Lot's of heightened emotions, bizarre moodswings, and an overall sense of nuttiness. But then I realized, it's a full moon!

Happy summertime!

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

The warm weather we had last weekend certainly pushed our family into "go" mode. We spent the time beautifying our yard - in other words, Hubby mowed while I conducted a private conversation with our fruit trees. I politely asked them to hurry up and do their thing. While I appreciate beautiful blossoms, I long for fresh apples, peaches, pears, plums, and blackberries. I think they understood as I swear there were even more blossoms the next day.

Here are some of my conversation counterparts:

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Last week, when the weather was deceivingly warm, I took the boys over into our orchard in the hopes of obtaining some natural looking posed pictures (!). Of course, Gun-Gun's reply was, "No cheese, Momma!" and C-dub just growled back a response when I demanded he look at me, just one..more...time. However, the temptatation to stop and spit off the bridge did allow me to grab a few shots without them realizing the cute pictures I was taking.

What is it with little boys and heights? What pushes them towards the need to either spit, or even worse, pee from high elevations, just to watch their bodily secretions splatter on the rocks below? Is it a power thing? Or is it just a gross little habit passed down among the male population? I remember Uncle R (being around seven or eight), and another neighborhood boy (just a little younger), climbing trees and acosting anything that happened to walk under their habitat. Maybe they were just marking their territory like a pair of tomcats - I certainly never understood it but it was certainly fun to narc them out to my dad. I was sadistic little child - especially when it came to torturing Uncle R.

I admit, Hubby and I probably didn't help too much with our boy's fondness of this activity - especially when we originally potty-trained C-dub. In order to attrack him to the toilet, we allowed him to pick his "victim." Whatever little food item that would float (Cheerios, Fruit Loops, mushrooms, etc.) and could be easily flushed, fell prey to the "super duper pooper" that C-dub quickly became during potty-training. He became spot on with his shooting skills. It was truly a proud parenting moment that I'm sure we'll reproduce when Gun-Gun is ready to be a big boy.

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm seriously an advocate for mandatory intelligence and gene testing (looking for the "moron" gene) when it comes to people getting pregnant and having children. You have to have a license to drive a car but there is nothing holding idiots and jackasses back from having children. I think you'll see why I believe in mandatory sterilization for some people after you read this article.

Your freakin' kiddin' me, right? Please tell me this is a joke 'cuz I feel like knockin' these egg and sperm donors about the head until some common sense springs about - not that that will ever happen but a girl can wish.

Thankfully, Hubby and I both agreed that our three children would be raised Redneck. We've found that it's much easier to conceal the shotguns and moonshine in a good pair of overalls rather than baggy drawers and baseball caps. Sure, we do have some similarities - we use bandannas (ok - just for snotrags) and also wear flannel (primarily 'cuz it's cold), but we've found the Redneck gang branch to be much more liberal when it comes to hand signs and weapon requirements. We couldn't get all our members to memorize past the one finger solute nor give up their hunting rifles for automatic weapons. Oh well, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit ;-).

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Check out this link for hatching ducklings. So cool to watch!

http://lancaster.unl.edu/4h/Embryology/EggCamera.shtml

Posted by Mommazilla at 04:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'd like to introduce you to Zeke the rooster. Zeke "the hen" came to us last September after being caught sometime during the Ruth Lake rodeo. My favorite Aunt B assured us that he'd provide us with love and eggs and we readily agreed to take "her" in. A couple months later, we noticed that Zeke appeared to have a bad case of laryngitis and for some reason liked to announce "her" good morning with a funky crow. A crowing hen? Sure, it happens - but not to "Miss" Zeke. He later showed us his true gentle colors and an almighty crow. He's the king of our yard and front porch, for that matter. Fortunately, he's a very gentle rooster and does a great job of protecting his ladies. Plus, he's an excellent alarm clock for those of us who are early risers - even on Sunday mornings.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

The other morning, I noticed the house was eerily quiet. Sure, the sound of cartoons and slight chitter-chatter was going, but no Gun-Gun or Hubby. When Gun-Gun's around, you know it. Whether it be screaming, stomping, marching, or the lyrics of Run DMC's "Tricky" being sang at the top of his lungs, his presence is known. When I heard the lawnmower outside, I knew that I had found at least Hubby and that Gun-Gun was probably close by, neck deep in the mud pit he and C-dub had created in the front yard.

So I looked out the front window and this is what I saw:

I couldn't quite see if Gun-Gun was with Hubby, so I grabbed my camera and saw this:

And then a little of this:

They mowed and mowed, chatted and chatted, until the whole orchard looked as slick as a golf course. I noticed that Gun-Gun was quick to point out any spots that Hubby missed.

Gun-Gun seemed to enjoy the ride and I think Hubby did as well. Truly, a Hallmark moment ;o). Or at least photographic evidence to show them at one point in their lives, mowing was fun.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I love photography and I recently have started getting a little more serious about it. In other words, I got an expensive camera and I've been limping through the learning process. With the help of friends, some good books, and several online communities, I've been able to learn a lot about photograpy and how take take (and fix!) almost great pictures.

For Christmas this year, Hubby bought me a Canon Rebel XTi. It's 10.1 mega pixels of love and affection and it's truly been my new best friend. My little Canon goes everywhere with me and I've gotten it several little buddies to keep it company (lenses). I am a totaly newbie when it comes to photography so I did a lot of research on what sort of lens to buy. It you are a first time "nice" camera owner, I strongly suggest buying a "nifty fifty" which costs less than $100 and takes excellent, crisp, relatively close-up shots. I also love my telephoto lens (75-300 mm) because it allows you to get up close to subjects who might otherwise not want their pictures taken (birds, kids, Hubby, etc.).

On a side note about my telephoto lens, I actually received this lens for free due to the actions of the best neighbor in the world, Mr. A. He had mentioned to me that he had an old camera with a couple of lenses he wanted to give to me for the kids. He had got the whole set-up during a rummage sale and it had been sitting in his garage for months. I didn't give it much thought until he brought it over and opened the camera bag. I seriously heard angels sing and a golden light emanated from the bag...it was an old Canon Rebel, complete with four lenses that were compatible with my camera! The telephoto lens alone was probably worth at least $300 and it quickly became my favorite. And no, mean Mommazilla did not let the kids have the camera. Sorry twerps.

OK, back to the story at hand. You don't need an expensive camera to take great pictures, but a camera with more features will give you a lot more control over your settings and picture quality. I never shoot in "Auto" mode; rather, I take the harder route and shoot in "Manual." This allows me to change the settings so that I can get different effects on how my pictures look. I'm not going to profess to being an expert at the settings on my camera nor will I sit here and explain the joys of aperture, focus and ISO, but I will give you a few resources that I have used to learn more:

* Go buy the book Understanding Exposure by Bryan Peterson. For less than $20, you get can a beautiful, easy to follow pictorial essay of how to work your digital camera. I love this book and consider it to be an absolute necessity for good picture taking. There are a lot of good books out there, but this is my favorite.

* Join the website, I Love Photography. It's FREE and has so many great resources for the amateur or professional photographer.

* Read, The Pioneer Woman. Besides being an awesome website for fun stories and recipes, she is an excellent photographer and includes a section with free tips for photography and Photoshop.

* Visit the Babycenter, "Photographing Your Family" site. This is a very nurturing, loving, peaceful, rewarding (yes, I could go on and on) board with amateur and professional (mostly women - sorry guys) photographers who can give you excellent tips.

I'm going to share a little secret with you. You don't always have to take great pictures in order to make them look like great pictures. Buy a computer program that will make the magic happen for you; Photoshop. There are several versions of Photoshop ranging from lots of money to less than $100. I am a cheapskate, so I have the cheaper Photoshop Elements version that I paid around $120 for. I love, love, love this program.

I can take a picture that looks like this (SOOC - straight out of the camera - not a bad shot to begin with):

and turn it into this:

or this:

or perhaps this:

or maybe even this:

And, you can add borders, even more special effects, and God knows what else. The possibities are endless with a good photo imaging program.

Once you have a program like Photoshop, the cool thing is is that people love to share things with you. People like you or me, or Photoshop professionals, will create certain looks called "actions." Actions are a set of steps they have done in order to create a photo effect. So rather that you having to figure out how to do it, you can download the zip file into your program, and then run it on your photos. With a "Dramatic" action I found, I was able to turn this photo:

into this:

Trust me, without the action, I don't think I would have ever thought up something like this look, but I love the effect. Here are some links to great sites with free actions, brushes, etc. Before you download, make sure that the actions wll work in your version of software. Many people with create items that work in the fancy, smancy version of Photoshop, but not in Elements.

* The Orton Effect (that wonderful, glowing look, really softens photos)

* The Color Pop (learn how to really make your colors come alive)

* The Eye Pop (dramatic eyes will always make a photo beautiful)

* How to install actions into your software (it's confusing and you may initially curse, ALOT, but keeping practicing and it will work - I promise!)

I seriously have only just scratched the surface of photography and photo editing. I hope I've given you some useful information or at least perked your interest in experimentation. Because that's what I do constantly; experiment and then delete...and delete...and even more deleting. But who the heck cares? You get that much better when you practice and when you get that one perfect shot, it's entirely worth it. Happy shooting!

Edited to add: I can't believe I forgot to mention Gimp. It's a FREE photo editing program that you can find at gimp.org It's very similar to Photoshop Elements but it's free. Happy editing!

Posted by Mommazilla at 11:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

This picture is circulating around the Internet and I thought I'd do my part to spread needless rumors. What do you see in his glasses? The rumor going around is that it's the image of a naked lady, hence the big, toothy smile he's sportin'. So take a look, and let me know if you see it. I'm on the fence.

Posted by Mommazilla at 10:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

He thinks so...

And so does his girlfriend...

Posted by Mommazilla at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This little guy was going crazy, eating worms and such, in my neighbor's yard. He was taking advantage of the sunny weather and was truly a delight to watch. We really got a kick out of his vigor!

So, what is he? Can a bird person help me identify?

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Have you ever seen the movie, "Heathers"? It was one of my favorite movies growing up, back in the late '80s. The movie is centralized around a highschool student named Veronica. Veronica joins the popular crowd (the cheerleaders, jocks, etc.), but soon becomes tired of the evil ways of the "Heathers" (the name of the other girls in the clique). Veronica then meets an outsider to the group and they systematically murder the "Heathers" and the "Jocks," making the scenes look like teenage suicide. Charming.

Unless you've seen this movie, you're probably thinking, what the Hell? What a terrible movie! Murder - the horror! Teenage suicide - tragic! Cheerleaders and jocks - our kings and queens victimized - terrible! Actually, the movie's message is one simple fact - just be yourself. I like that and that's what I tell my own children, especially Taterbug who regularly attends *gasp* public school.

You might think comparing teenage prom queens to grammar school girlies is a stretch but in reality, their actions and behaviors are quite similiar and disturbing. Before my kids were ever even old enough to attend school, I worried about the cliques, how'd they fit in, and how many heads would have to roll if someone picked on my child and made them cry. I didn't want a populoid but I also didn't want the geeky smelly kid. Something in the middle would fit me fine.

Then along came school and the drama it brought. Today's school certainly no longer resembles the happy memories you'd find in "Little House on the Prairie." I think it's reached the level of grammar school 90210 - especially if you have a daughter. Little Taterbug is unfortunately realizing this and has encountered her own set of "Heathers." Rather than throwing down some little eight year old brats, I'll just say that I don't like it and I struggle to keep my words in check when telling Taterbug how to handle their nasty comments or looks. I know that my reply to their snarkiness would end up having Taterbug make the long trip to the Principal's Office.

I guess there should be some sort of point to this blog, and there is. Don't let your daughter become a "Heather." Don't enable her with the tools to go to school and be a snooty little twit who relishes in the fact that she can make other people feel insecure or even worse, bad about themselves. Thankfully, I have a very strongwilled daughter who's confident and normally very secure about her quirks. An angel she isn't, but at least she's not a follower or a "Heather." And, if I ever see a "Heather" side emerging from her little body, I'll remind her that, "The extreme always seem to make an impression (quote from the movie), " and then I'll knock her about the head to change any negative 'tudes. Oh yeah, I'll also tell her that murdering "Heathers" - or anyone for that fact - is bad. Don't worry, she won't see the movie to get any ideas ;o).

Here's a clip from the movie, just in case I peaked your curiosity:

Posted by Mommazilla at 08:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Woohoo! I've finally hit my 100th post! Thanks for reading and I promise to continue making fun of myself and family for the benefit of all to see.

Jack and Jill say "thanks" as well.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Scrubbing popsicle juice off the wall and then finding the remaining melted pieces throughout an 1800 square foot house...three hours.

Chasing Gun-Gun down the driveway after he's hijacked a Hotwheels from his brother and has decided to flee to Mexico...two hours.

Repeating instructions to stop jumping off the furniture, quit hitting the TV with Hotwheels, and to stop screeching like a banshee...four hours.

Getting told, "I wuv you Momma" and giving and receiving sloppy wet kisses....endless.

I wuv my widdle man.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

World's Best Father-in-Law and Duncan the dog.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I admit it. I have a strange infatuation with the National Enquirer. I've had this interest since I was a little girl, sneaking peeks at my dad's copy, tucked ever so neatly next to the stinky toilet. I'd read it cover to cover, learning the latest gossip and seeing who truly was the worst dressed celeb. I can't tell you how many hours I ended up spending in the bathroom just to read this rag, but darn it, I was the most worldly eight year old one could ever meet.

I'm proud (*coughs*) to announce that dear, sweet, little 'ole Taterbug has developed my same interest in reading material and I recently caught her exhibiting the same sort of bathroom behavior. The following is a conversation we had over the recent issue:

Taterbug: Hey Mom! Did you know that Jamie Lynn Spears is having a shotgun wedding?
Mommazilla: No, Tater, I hadn't heard that. Do you even know what a shotgun wedding is?
Taterbug: Sure, Mom. It's a wedding that only redneck people with lots of guns go to.
Mommazilla: Hmm, that's interesting. At this point, I realize that maybe I shouldn't be indulging her reading fantasies.
Taterbug: And you know what else, Mom? She's gonna have KFC cater it and she's gonna buy her wedding ring at Walmart. I betcha she only spends ten bucks on her dress and buys it at K-Mart. Can you believe it? They even want to have a squirrel and possum barbeque!She's rolling her eyes now and making exaggerated movements with her hands, emphasizing her disgust.
Mommazilla: Well, Tater, that's pretty interesting but - she interrupts me to finish her point.
Taterbug: Yah know, Mom, the worst part is that they're only gettin' married 'cuz she screwed up and got pregnant. She's an idiot. I really like Zoey 101 but I don't like her - so don't worry. I don't even like boys yet. I find them pretty gross, actually. C-dub tries to interject his protest, but I give him the "look" in order to support Taterbug's anti-boy tirade.

I sat there for a moment and just listed to her process the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy. Thankfully, she doesn't really seem to have interest in knowing how it happened but she is clearly disgusted by the outcome. So thank you Jamie Lynn Spears. Thanks for making my daughter never want to touch a boy (seriously - a BIG thanks for that one) and she thinks you're Queen of the trailer park to top it off. Good for you. Keep making' Louisiana proud and showing that your big sister really isn't that strange.

Speaking of Jamie Lynn Spears, here's a recent video of her. Quite entertaining and real.

Posted by Mommazilla at 09:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What do four Q-tips, two boys, and a lot of quiet giggling equal?

Yeah, trouble for Mommazilla. You should have seen the rest of the Q-tips. At least C-dub showin' some love for his Momma.

Posted by Mommazilla at 07:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I must admit, I'm a total weirdo when it comes to old things - well, maybe I should clarify. Old people -eh, give and take, but old artifacts, now that's my bag. Awhile back, Grandpa D decided to help us by pulling out an old bushy tree that was blocking our front yard. When he did, we discovered a long lost well that previous owners had thrown old bottles, farm equipment, and a tire into as fill and then had planted the nasty tree on top of it. We cleaned the well out and inspected each item with plenty of "oohs!" and "aahhs!" It was so neat and my kiddos really got a kick out of Mommazilla being excited about "junk."

Due to this strange love of old things, I took special delight in finding an ancient car parked on my neighbor's property just adjacent to the fenceline. Lucklily for me, it was parked closed enough so that I didn't have to break too many trespass laws in order to get a closer look.

At first glance, it's a junky old car that's been left to die under a couple of redwood trees and some blackberry vines. I'd like to think that the owner was so in love with this car they he/she decided to put it out to pasture rather than donate it to the junkyard. It's a much happier thought so I'm going with this version of the story. I think it's so much more....

At First Glance...

At First Glance...(softened)

Handle Dreams...

Handles Dreams...(softened)

The Light Has Dimmed...

The Light Has Dimmed...(softened)

Posted by Mommazilla at 06:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Prior to the rain, I was able to sneak the family out to our one acre redwood forest. Because of the impending rain, it was very pleasant to be outside - and I heard no griping from the kidlets about being forced "into the woods."

Here's what we found:

A handsome man and a cute little monster:

A scary bush that didn't look too scary:

A pretty flower:

Some scary little critters:

And some tired mutts:

It was a nice day had by all. Thanks Mother Nature for the great show :o).