I've discovered the secret as to why people enjoy using illicit drugs so much...I took a Claritin-D the other night and washed it down with a can of Coke. I then checked my e-mails, brushed my teeth, washed my face, plowed through three loads of clothes, scrubbed the kitchen floor with a tooth brush, ironed my t-shirts and undies, organized my sock drawer, labeled the canned goods in my kitchen according to nutritional value, and then proceeded to memorize the entire contents of my personal library, Barney books included. After this little jaunt into insanity, I then went to bed and proceeded to sweat all of the evilness out of my body and then wake up every half hour on the hour, because of the little green men running laps around my bedroom asking for change to the soda machine that was evidently in my kitchen. Those little leprechaun turds then practiced slam dancing and acted all crunk when I told them to get out around 4 AM. When I woke up sometime the next day, I was jittery, achy and looking for more "Cruddy C" (my slang for a slam of street Claritin-D and Coke). Thankfully, the little green men (who eventually became my friends and made a 4:30 AM run to Denny's to buy me a Grand Slam with a side of ranch) had disappeared in time for me to get ready for work. When I got to work, I realized I had absolutely zero fluid left in my body so I decided to remedy this by eating candy bars and drinking Mountain Dew in an effort to reproduce the glorious "ride" I had taken the night before. It was all to no avail, because it just made me get a headache and my pants fit a little tighter. Blah. I'll leave the drug using to the pros.