All week long, I had promised my kids that we would do something fun on Friday night. The movies are too expensive and neither hubby nor I enjoy chasing Gun-Gun up and down the hallway so that Taterbug and C-dub can kick back and relax. Our other choice was skating but I knew that with hubby's track record, a broken bone was inevitable. The overwhelmingly popular choice was to go swimming at a local indoor pool.

Now, as a mom , I could care less if I had to tackle the issue of a swimsuit. I could go in cut-offs and a sexy t-shirt, as long as the kids were safe and happy. However, as a woman, the idea of a swimsuit terrified me. I know what I look like naked and I didn't think I needed to share that vision with strangers or friends I might see at the pool. Mother nature is a witch and she has taken great care in making sure that gravity has done it's duty on my poor body. It ain't pretty but it gets the job done, especially since the creation of Shapewear.

Knowing full well that little elephants do not forget, I knew that there was no way I was going to get out of going. I swallowed my pride and opened up the drawer, exposing the dreaded swimsuit. I pulled my perky pink suit out and held it up, only to hear a snicker from Taterbug.

Taterbug: Ya really gonna wear that mom?
Mommazilla: Yeah Tater, I am. You don't want me to go naked, do you?
A look of horror crept across her sweet little face.
Taterbug: No mom. That would be terrible. Seriously.
I started to get undressed and looked back to see Taterbug still watching me, amusement clearly present on her face. She wore a big toothy grin.
Taterbug: Hey C-dub! Get a load of mom's suit. It's even got big 'ole cups in it like a bra! And look! Her boobs aren't even gonna fit!!!
C-dub can't comment because he's laughing too hard.
Taterbug: Momma, what do you do if your boobs fall out into your armpits? They're saggy too!!
She's snickering as she asks and her comical momentum slowly starts to speed up with her questioning. C-dub continues laughing and begins to call for hubby, so that he can partake amongst the fun.
Taterbug: Betcha can't run in that thing either. Why dontcha try?
Mommazilla: Taterbug. You'll be a mom one day too. And guess what? I'll give you my swimsuit to wear because you're going to look like me.
The idea of a mommy swimsuit was enough to shut her up and make her ponder the probabilities that she'd eventually inherit my physique. She slowly wandered out with a look of disgust and I smiled in response.

We eventually made it to the pool and had a great time. Gun-Gun, quickly realizing that the water was not as warm as his usual bath, decided that it just wasn't for him and made the great escape with hubby. The other two little sea creatures proceeded to pummel and attempt to drown me by repeated belly flops into the water. I did notice the water was quite warm and thankfully the cholorine took the edge off the urine. Remember the saying, "Thanks for not peeing in my ool. Notice there's no "P" in it." I can't help but think that the other 20 or so people swimming with us probably didn't share in my sentiments. I thanked my lucky stars for the chemical chlorine goodness that provided us with a safe barrier from all the floating nasties.

All in all, it was a fun night and well worth the pain that the pukey pink bathing suit (with not near enough spandex coverage) brought me.