I never really truly realized how illiterate I was until I started having children and they perfected their ability of verbally amazing me. Some of the words that they come up with on a daily basis give me total shock and awe because neither hubby nor I tend to use such big words. Our relationship is based more on pointing and grunting, maybe with the occasional please and thank you - but we KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). Here are some recent examples of my chitlins:

C-dub on his Burger King breakfast: I have 10 hash browns, Mom. Impressive, isn't it?
Taterbug on the rooster attack: The rooster only attacked grandma because falling in the pond jacked him up.
Gun-Gun on everything: Oh man!!! (o.k., he doesn't really count yet because we're still working on the whole issue of talking).
C-dub on his monster trucks: My monster trucks have the most amazing and spectacular crashes.
Taterbug on my recent bout of heartburn: You’re taking enough drugs to have to go to rehab mom. Will we be able to visit?
C-dub on the topic of his future: Mom, when I grow up I want to be a butt shaver. (This was later clarified due to pronunciation issues). Mooommmm, I said animal saver!
Taterbug on puberty: You know mom, I am getting boobies. They're even starting to bounce when I run.

Geesh. If they're putting things together this well now, hubby and I will surely be faced with eventually finishing up on our 8th grade edumacation.