I don't think I’ve had a full nights sleep in over eight years. In fact, the wrinkles - or love lines (I like to call them) - tell me so. This particular night was no different other than that it wasn't Gun-Gun waking up at the crack of dawn to crow with the roosters; it was Taterbug with an earache. If I recall correctly (it was two in the morning) I was having a wonderful dream about beating Tom Cruise over the head with an L. Ron Hubbard book, while Katie looked on lovingly (although rather vacantly), when I awoke to, "Mom, are you asleep?" Hmmm...I could have been a smartass but the good sleep and exciting dream left me weak. I answered back, "I was," and Taterbug proceeded to complain about her throbbing ear drum. After two Tylenol, she wiggled herself into our bed, directly between hubby and me, and of course, she slept semi-horizontal so that I had to balance precariously on the edge of the bed for the rest of the night.

In the morning, the earache became worse and an appointment for the doctor was made. Hubby, ironically enough, suddenly had too many projects going on to take her to the doctor so I was left with the task of taking three munchkins. I knew it was going to be fun. I had drama queen that made up ailments as soon as she got there; paranoid Pete who had panic attacks in the waiting room; and the "licker" who liked to taste every different instrument in the examining room. Oh yeah, I could hardly wait.

When we arrived at the doctor's office, the waiting room was packed with newborns, sick toddlers and several uncomfortable looking preteens who needed physicals. I took my place in the corner and tried to filter out any germs by breathing through my shirt. Did I ever mention that I hate doctor's offices? The kids were doing great and were playing ever so nicely with the other children. This was at least until a brave little girl decided that she would befriend the anti-social Gun-Gun and drive the imaginary bus that he had so nicely commandeered. I saw him eyeball the little girl and his chubby knuckles turned white as he was gripped the steering wheel, waiting for the attack. Surprising enough, he let her have the steering wheel only after a few shoves (between the two) back and forth. I held my breath and waited for the flurry of chubby fists to erupt between the two of them, but instead, Gun-Gun quietly got up and rolled his eyes as if to say, I've moved on to Hotwheels, babe. He freakin' rolled his eyes and the entire waiting room saw him do it! The parents of the infants didn't know how to react since their silent little angels only knew how to burp and pass explosive gas, and the other, more seasoned parents, only smiled in quiet sympathy. I honestly thought the eye rolling began in puberty.

We miraculously only had to wait about 15 minutes (long enough for Gun-Gun to try and give an infant whiplash via shaking the baby carrier and for C-dub to repeatedly ask me if he was going to get an "ear injection"). Taterbug was in all her glory and collapsed on the examining table, proclaiming her ailments. The ear infection was quickly confirmed by Dr. Doogie and we then left with a prescription for the pink bubblegum goo, but only after making follow-up appointments for *gasp* shots! What fun! Each of them needs shots at their next visits! I can’t wait – must…find…earplugs!

Once we got to the car and the animals were contained, I told Taterbug that we had better go down and get her "drugs" before my Mountain Dew induced caffeine high wore off. Her reply to me was, "Drugs? What am I going to be next week, an alcoholic? C-dub, you'd better tell Sissy goodbye 'cuz she's probably goin' to rehab!" With the reference to rehab, he began to sing, "No, no, no!" Ah, the joys of children who love Amy Winehouse songs. Like the dysfunctional family we are, we all sang the chorus to “Rehab” on our way to pick up Taterbug’s “stash.”

At the pharmacy, I finagled all three children past the toy aisle and the Valentine's Day chocolate (much to their dismay), to the awaiting high tech pharmacy with excellent video surveillance. C-dub quickly saw that we could be seen on the video screen, so he proceeded to give Sissy rabbit ears for the remainder of the drop off. Thankfully, Taterbug didn't notice and this prevented a violent slap-boxing attack between the two of them. After dropping the prescription off with a demanding phone call to hubby ordering him to pick it up – after all, he missed all the fun – we ended the day on a high note, a shopping trip to Safeway.

I never really understood how exciting one person's life could be doing rather uneventful things. In relative hindsight, I totally agree with Sam Levinson when he says, "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." I'm so glad that my own kids are very giving of this disease.