While cruising down the street the other night, I had a sudden revelation thanks to some of my trashy neighbors. I know, I know...it's really like the pot calling the kettle black since I do have chickens and a goat sleeping on my front porch - but at least I clean the crap off once a week. I don't know that they can say the same.

Anyhoo, while driving past the chubby woman in the black stretchy pants with sassy hawaiian shorts pulled up over her double bubble stomach, complete with a cigarette hanging out of her droopy, wrinkly mouth, I watched as she lugged her pre-decorated christmas tree into her duplex. I could smell the odor of tobacco, bacon grease, bread dough and dank 'ole weed eminating from her open doorway as she grunted and groaned to get in the door. Since this was pretty entertaining, I paused for a moment at the stop sign to see if she could get it into her house. I guess if I was truly feeling the Christmas spirit, I would have at least offered some help but I chose to pause and snicker instead.

I think the most entertaining thing was that she already has a couch and set of chairs set up in her front yard, so why not just set it up in the front yard? It would be much easier for Santa to access and she wouldn't have to worry about her bong accidently incinerating her stockings. It seems like an easy solution to me...

While still struggling with the green beast, her old man shows up and offers his support, while at the same time juggling a Steel Reserve and puffing on a ciggy. Their cute little girl (maybe five or six), with a full bag of Doritos and a bottle of Pepsi in her chubby little fists, promptly plops down in a lawnchair to partake amongst the festivities. The argument ensues between the parents with the little girl giggling, chugging soda, and getting cheesy Dorito powder all over her clothes and face.

As I quickly find myself bored with the situation, I finally drive past the happy family, giving a friendly wave. This family has often provided me with a source of entertainment as they always choose to have their family meetings, arguments, love fests, etc., in their front yard within the view of the entire neighborhood.

It's nice that everyone celebrates Christmas in their own way. My kids won't be decorating the Christmas tree with empty Marlboro packs and free AOL CD's nor will they be making "special brownies" for Santa, a.k.a. Dad, but, to each their own. I just hope that Santa is current on his Hep series and tetnus.