The Bully Pulpit

Since this seems to be the week of potty talk, let's now examine how a vast vat of shite in the Central Valley (not the city of Modesto, though it qualifies) could be the solution to the state's energy problems.

It's a simple principle: There are cows. Cows poop. Normally, such cow dollups sit meditatively in a field as adornments that can fuel a fire in a pinch, but little else.

Now, the pooled poop is set to power 1,200 houses per day.

That is, crap from 5,000 cows — "effectively a 33 feet deep, 5 football field-sized vat" — will be converted into natural gas, and thus energy. With 2 million cows statewide, the article says, the potential for renewable energy is huge.

For even more potential, they could stick a hose under my nine-year-old's blankets at night and catch more than a whiff of the real stuff. That boy farts like a bowlegged bartender.