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This map says Humboldt County, and most of the west, is predominantly Catholic. I don't buy it. That being the case, the fact that much of the Southeast is dominated by Southern Baptists rings a bit truer.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist household, and heard the whole fire-and-brimstone spiel. Perhaps that's why I would now most closely identify with Buddhists over the Jesuits. Something about being burned alive for all eternity turned me off to Christianity.
My wife and I, with two of our three children, recently made a trek up to Seattle to visit one of my best friends on his 30th Birthday. For the most part, while long, the drive was pleasant and comfortable in our eggplant minivan.
But after a few short hours on the road, one thing became clear — Oregon is a waste of real estate. Rude people, angry looks from regular Joes who couldn't have read my lciense plate to know my state of origin, and an overall sense of WTF? makes Oregon chafe like yesterday's diaper.
I almost got into a scuffle with one gas station attendant. You know the program, Oregon's welfare system where they make every gas station hire some loser to pump gas. Self-serve is outlawed in the lovely state of Oregon.
Well, I ask this particular jerk where the restroom is, and he just gives me a blank stare. I ask him again, and after a painful and irritating pause, he responds that it is where the sign says it is. Stomping off, I fill the urinal to bursting and then go into the store, where said attendant is now working the register. I put a cup of coffee on the counter, ask how much it is.
Same blank stare. Now thoroughly enraged, I practically shout: How much is the coffee, friend-o? He frowns, then points at the digital display. I angrily toss two two dollars on the counter and proceed to lambaste the chubby SOB with every expletive I could think of in a short amount of time.
I then proceed to ask for the manager's name, the employee's badge number, and then take down a detailed description of his every identifying mark. I do nothing with the information, but for once I wanted to get a reaction out of the bum. It didn't work, and we left town and ultimately Oregon.
And as we soon discovered, people are a lot nicer in Washington. And I didn't even mention that on the way back we broke down outside Sutherlin, where a little community exists off the business from three commercial enterprises: a Chevron station; a small hotel with pink, A-frame cabins; and an adult store. We only frequented two of the establishments while waiting for Joe-Bob to fix the van. I'll let you guess which ones.
Blogs are a great way to get around the traditional rules of reporting. Check out the North Coast Journal's blog today, where Editor Hank Sims posts that Bill Clinton may make a visit to the North Coast on Wednesday.
Printing rumors is usually taboo, but in the world of blogs it's apparently allowed. To Hank's credit, begrudgingly, he never states that it's a fact, and promises to keep his readers updated with new information. We're following the same story, independent of Sims' Journal, and we'll have an update on ts.com as soon as we hear more. We could have run with it earlier, but we like to confirm things before reporting them.
Where was I?
BILL CLINTON!!! In Humboldt County!!! Sweet. We may just have to invite him in to the old Times-Standard for a donut and a talk with the good ole boy — er, I mean, editorial — board. Then we can take him on up to HSU and let the masses teach him how to inhale.
Say what you want about Bill, the man was a fun president. He played the sax, he made more eye contact than a used car salesman, and he had "sexual relations" in the Oval Office. If that's not cool, I don't know what is.
Like clockwork, in the wake of Obama's defeat in New Hampshire, some are claiming that the results defy logic, and therefore could be the result of vote tampering by Diebold, a right-wing corporation that makes and sells voting machines.
Here's a link to a story that appeared in the Baltimore Chronicle and Sentinel on that very subject.
To me, it always sounds like a bunch of hot air, like a conspiracy theorist's wlidest dreams come true. But I have to agree with the tenor of the article. At least with Dennis Kucinich requesting a hand count, we'll know one way or the other whether Diebold had a vested interest in Obama V. Clinton. Anyone want to bet a buck that the hand count proves the vote tally of the machines is more or less accurate?
Former presidential candidate David Cobb is saying that a vote of Obama and Clinton is essentially a vote for the same candidate — neither would bring true change to Washington. As I recall, the same argument was made in Bush V. Gore, by Ralph Nader, and where did that get us?
But what do you think? Are Obama and Hillary cut from the same political cloth? Is a vote for a third party the answer? Or are Cobb's blinders on, given that the BIG issue for him and fellow Greens is corporate power?
Whose next for the mat? And let's just admit it, Mr. Kerrigan — Edwards is toast.
I'm really not ashamed to admit that my two primary loves in life are football and politics. There's nothing better to me than presidential politics, where the candidates get down and dirty and fight about the issues and their ever-swelling egos.
So to me, the recent comeback of Hill-Ree Clinton against Barack "The Bomb" Obama (who unfortunately in the eyes of rednecks everywhere will forever be known as the other Osama) tickled my fancy. I don't want the race to be a blowout after Nevada, or even after Feb. 5.
I'd like the battle to come down to the Democratic National Convention, with screaming red-faced delegates on either side fighting for their man or woman to receive the nod. That's good political theater, and something we've been lacking in the last few presidential elections.
The same goes for McCain's comeback, although his win in New Hampshire to me basically signals that he's on his way to victory. Not as much fun.
On the other hand, 49er football is my guilty pleasure. They suck, I know, but it is what it is. Fortunately, they had a major shakeup Tuesday when the powers-that-be (Mike Nolan and Scot Mcloughan) hired Mike Martz as their offensive coordinator.
Mike Martz was the offensive genius behind the St. Louis Rams Greatest Show on Turf a few years ago, and he's hoping to turn a moribund 49ers offense back into the powerhouse it was in the 1980s and 1990s.
Good luck to him on that. For once I'd like my Sunday afternoons during football season to be happy, for the good of my family. Martz, give my kids a good home by making me happier on Sundays. It's just the right thing to do. I can only throw the nacho cheese boat against the wall a few more times before it leaves permanent mental scars.