Become a Better Father/Every Day Dad

My father in law just gave my wife and I one of those rubber wrist bands--Like the Lance Armstrong "Live Strong" ones of a few years ago.

This one is purple and has a whole different purpose!

The idea is to use it as a queuing device to quit complaining, sniveling, and whining about life--Every time you complain, you must snap or change the band to the other arm.

My wristband is already stretched out and worn....Boo Hoo/Waa Waa!

The website for instructions and ordering is: www.aComplaintFreeWorld.org

The results are AWESOME....and we are having a ball "catching" both ourselves and each other complaining.

I see this working on the same Toastmaster Principle of beginning to catch your own and others non-fluencies such as "um"s, "and's", "uh's", and "ya knows".

Funny how something this simple can break a poisonous habit of gossip, negativity, and permeating pessimism.

Go for it....this a brilliant and easy way to make a fundamental life change for the New Year!

Posted by Scott Hammond at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1153)

“Boys want to know three things,” says 72-year-old Lew Powers, a 20-year veteran Boy Scout director. ‘One, who’s the boss? Two, what are the rules? And three, are you going to enforce them?’ To have a strong relationship with a boy, you have to be the boss, and a very kind one. Only set rules that you can enforce, and always enforce them. Then you have the basis for a relationship. From here comes respect and more importantly, trust.”

Being a good father means you discipline from a plan, not from emotion. Most fathers tend to shy away from traditional behavior systems, relying heavily on their ability to “discipline in the moment.” I have found in my practice that this is not a good way to go. In fact, to be perfectly honest, I find that it is one of our male weaknesses, such as failing to ask for directions when we know we are lost. In both cases, we need to use a map. And a behavioral map entails sitting down and plotting your course. What are your rules? Are you willing to enforce them in the same way every time? What will you do when you become aware that your child has left you severely frustrated? Will you yell? Will you say hurtful things that you’ll later apologize for? Make your map and chart your course.

Some brief notes on discipline:

Discipline strategies used by mother and father should be the same.

3 strikes you’re out
2 warnings
Consequences and rewards used by mother and father should be the same
Time out
Restriction

Raising your voice to get your child’s attention is not a problem as long as:

You are not out of control.
It doesn’t shame your child.
It doesn’t put your child in a position to care for you.
Raising your voice does have its risks. Your children will meet the bar that you set:
If you yell, they will yell.
If you shut down, they will shut down.
If you keep your poise, they will keep theirs.
DON’T HIT! This damages a child’s self-esteem and ability to bond and attach emotionally.

Posted by Scott Hammond at 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (1153)