Become a Better Father/Every Day Dad

25 Things Every Father Must Teach His Daughter About Life

Are you teaching your daughter what she needs to know to become a confident, well-adjusted woman?

Yesterday, I wrote about how our daughters are under attack in our toxic culture. I expounded on all the messages they hear that are leading them astray.

Today, I want to offer what we as fathers must be teaching our daughters if we want them to grow up to be happy, independent and productive.
Teach daughters these 25 things and they will love you for it!

These are the things I want to teach my two daughters. I am convinced these are the things necessary to counteract all the other crap they hear elsewhere.
1. Family is forever

I want her to know that I will always love her mother. Her family will always be here as a complete unit for her to depend upon. I will model the loving marriage I want her to have.
2. She is beautiful just the way she is

I will tell her this regularly to affirm her belief in it. I will let her know that her natural beauty is all the attractiveness she will ever need and that I love her just the way she is.
3. She is enough and capable of anything

I will reassure her regularly that she has all the intelligence, confidence and capability she needs to conquer anything she wants to do in life. She is more than enough!
4. How to say “no” and mean it

Over the years, her girlfriends and boyfriends are going to ask her to do things that aren’t good for her. I will teach her it is okay to say “no” and stick to it. Practice makes perfect!
5. What I believe is right and wrong

Where else are our daughters going to get moral clarity? We must teach them what we believe is ethical and right so they have a measure to live by.
6. Humility

Yes, I want my daughter to be confident and independent, but I also want her to respect others and to treat everyone with dignity. I want her to give due regard to those in authority such as teachers, public servants and her parents!
7. How to eat to remain healthy

I want my daughter to have a healthy view of food. I don’t want her to overindulge, but I also don’t want her to be obsessed with dieting. Modeling a healthy diet and lifestyle are vital.
8. Men should treat her with gentleness and respect

She will learn this by observing the way I treat her and her mother. I will teach her that she should refuse to accept anything less.
9. Modesty

It is much more attractive to create a modest and authentic look. Young women that wear clothes that are revealing are crying out for attention. I will teach my daughter that there are boundaries to what is acceptable.
10. Relationships and family matter most in life

I will teach her that most of her joy and fulfillment in life will come from the relationships she builds. It is of the utmost importance that she chooses and acts wisely.
11. Not to drink too much and to stay away from drugs

Alcohol consumption in excess is dangerous and impairs judgement. Alcohol before she is an adult is especially harmful. Educating her on the perils and providing firm supervision is paramount.
12. Her father will always defend her

She needs to know that if someone wrongs her, that I will defend her. I will be her champion and hero. She will never need to look elsewhere to find protection.
13. How to manage her money

I will teach her that debt is dangerous and that thrift and frugality are wise. I will show her how to budget her money and ways to save. I will involve her so she can learn from an early age.
14. The value of honesty and integrity

I want my daughter to understand that you are only as good as your reputation. If you lie or cheat, word will spread and you will be discredited. It is always better to tell the truth.
15. Patience

Wait. Wait to have sex. Wait until you find the right man. Wait so you can finish college. Wait so you can travel. Be patient. There is no need to rush into things.
16. Keep things simple

You will never regret keeping your life simple. Complexity is burdensome. It is tiring. The simpler the solution, the more eloquent it is. Keep your life simple!
17. Put God first

God is your compass. He will show you the way. I will live so she knows what God means to me and that I have a relationship with Him. He will never fail her.
18. How to pray

Lift up all your concerns and thanksgiving to God! It will help you to always remain humble and grateful. You are blessed!
19. We have more than enough

Be content. Don’t fall victim to hyper-consumerism. It will put you in a hole that you won’t like. Recognize when you have enough. Give generously.
20. Appreciate nature

A good deal of the wonder and beauty in life is found in nature. Spend time outdoors. Take care of the environment. Take time to appreciate all nature has to offer.
21. Be persistent

Perseverance is one of the key characteristics of the successful. Don’t give up too easily. Stick with things until you conquer them. Try and try again.
22. Be practical and pragmatic

Stay grounded. Look for solutions that work. Solve problems for people and they will appreciate you. Keep your head about you. Be logical.
23. She alone has authority over her body and life

Don’t let people push you around. It is okay to be nice, but you also have to know when to put your foot down. Draw the line when it is necessary.
24. Ask yourself, “So, what can I do about it?”

This goes along with being practical. Follow the wisdom in the Serenity Prayer. It will decrease the stress in your life and increase your effectiveness.
25. Your father will always, always, always love you!

I want her to know above all else that my love is unconditional. I may not always like her behavior, but I will always love her. She needs to understand this separation.
This is a big job, but I’m up for it because my daughters matter

I’m not going to kid you. Raising a daughter in today’s culture is a big job. The stakes are high. The opposition is fierce.

However, I will not give in. I am drawing a line in the sand today. I will be a father to my daughters. I will fight for them. I will live as an example. This world and our society will not claim them as victims.

Time is wasting. I’d better get busy!

What did I leave out? What else do we need to be teaching our daughters?

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Posted by Scott Hammond at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (522)

Five Simple Exercise Programs for Beginners

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.
I’ve been exercising regularly for a few years, with tremendous improvements in my health, and whenever someone asks me how they should start out in exercise, I tell them to just get moving!

Try to get moving every day — whether it’s walking, running, strength training, sports, running around with the kids, swimming, paddling, or whatever works for you. If you can do that, you’ll get healthier and fitter over time.

And it does take time. Any exercise program that promises results in a week or three or even a month is either lying to you, or not worth it — you’ll just gain it back in a short amount of time, because you haven’t changed your lifestyle or habits. So no, you won’t see quick results if you get active, but you’ll see long-term results if you stick with it. Have fun along the way and things will be great.

And what you eat is just as important. Make small changes over time to your diet — drink water instead of soda, or eat leaner cuts of meat (or go vegetarian), cut out fried foods, eat more fruits and veggies, cut out processed grains, changes like that — and you’ll be well on your way to a healtheir lifestyle and a fitter you.

But these generalized recommendations never seem to be enough. People want specific programs. And while I’m not a certified trainer or an expert in any way, I have found some simple exercise programs that work for me and others I know, and can recommend them. As always, if you have health problems, check with a doctor before getting into any kind of exercise program.

One last note: take it slowly. Your body needs time to adapt to the exercise, and if you overdo it you can injure yourself or burnout, and neither is good if you’re trying to stick with it long term. Progress gradually, in small steps, and you’ll stay injury-free and see great long-term results.

Program 1: Intervals for Beginners

Intervals are a great way to get intense exercise in without overdoing it. And they can be a lot of fun if steady-state cardio bores you to tears.

Start out with some steady-state cardio, though, at least for a month while you get used to moving more. Walking is a great way to start out, especially if you haven’t exercised in awhile and/or you’re pretty overweight. If you’re in decent shape with not too many extra pounds, start with some slow, light jogging.

After a month or so of doing this at least 3 times a week (4-5 is even better but not everyone has the time), you can add some light intervals. Warm up for 5 minutes first to prevent injury and to let your heart adjust to beating faster, before starting the intervals. For beginner walkers, just pick up the pace for 30-60 seconds, and then walk at a normal pace for 1-2 minutes to recover. Don’t overdo it at first. You can repeat this 3-5 times during your normal walk.

For people in slightly better shape, try walk/run intervals. Again, warm up for 5 minutes, then jog for 30-60 seconds followed by 1-2 minutes walking for recovery. Repeat 3-5 times and then cool down.

For those in even better shape, do jog/run intervals, where you jog slowly, pick up the pace to a steady run (not sprinting and not too fast) for 30-60 seconds, then back to a slow jog for 1-2 minutes recovery. Again, repeat 3-5 times.

After doing this workout for 1-2 weeks, add more intervals slowly until you’re up to about 6-8. Once you’re used to this, slowly increase the length of your intervals. Instead of 30-60 seconds, do 60-90 seconds. After a couple weeks of longer intervals, increase the intensity of the intervals — a faster walk, or a jog instead of a walk, or a faster run, depending on what you’ve been doing so far.

Intervals are a great way to burn calories and fat (assuming you’re eating fairly healthy and not overeating), strengthen your leg muscles and core, and just get healthier overall.

Program 2: Sports

This is one of the easiest programs on this list, and also one of the most fun. Basically: play a sport you like, or even a new sport you’ve never tried before, a few times a week. Again, the idea is just to get moving, and to have fun while you’re moving.

It can be any sport where you’re moving around a lot (golf, bowling, darts, and the like are great but don’t count) — just choose a sport to start with and give it a try. If you already love a sport but haven’t been playing it in awhile, do that — it’s important that this be fun for you. Do it 3-4 times a week. Or try a new sport — if you’ve always wanted to try soccer, or rugby, or rowing/paddling, or cycling, do it now! Find someone who knows how to play it, or join a club or group that will show you how it’s done, and give it a try! It can be difficult at first, but go easy when you start and really try to learn the rules and skills. Think of it as a fun challenge. You might be a little sore when you first start out.

Start with 30 minutes and progress gradually to 45-60 minutes a day, at least 3 days a week. Try to get to 4-5 days a week if you can.

After a month or so of one sport, switch to another to keep it fun and challenging. Keep doing this for a few months. After you’ve tried at least 3 sports, start to mix it up — do basketball on Monday, for example, then soccer, then swimming, then rowing — whatever you feel like, whatever seems fun, whatever it takes to stay active. The more you mix it up, the better.

Program 3: Circuits

This is a fairly traditional sort of program, but great nonetheless. Basically: you do one exercise followed by another and another and so on until you’ve done the whole circuit of exercises, rest for a couple minutes, then repeat the whole circuit. The exercises can be strength exercises, cardio, or some combination. The circuit format keeps things interesting, and keeps your heart-rate up so you burn more fat than if you rested in between exercises.

For beginners, remember to start slowly — it can be easy to overdo it with a program like this. I recommend you start with just 4-5 exercises, and rest 10-30 seconds between each at first. Later you can cut the rest period down until you’re not resting between exercises, only between circuits.

To start out with, choose 4-5 exercises such as: bodyweight squats, jumping jacks, pushups (you can do them against the wall instead of on the ground if necessary), jump squats (squats with a jump at the top), burpees (basically jump squats combined with pushups), dips, lunges, side lunges, wall climbers, pullups, jump roping, jogging in place, bicycle crunches. Some of these are tough, so if you have trouble with them start with easier ones or modified versions so they’re not so hard. Do a YouTube search if you don’t know how to do the exercises properly.

Do 30 seconds of each exercise, rest for 10-30 seconds, do the next exercise, and so on until you’ve done all 4-5 exercises you’ve chosen. Rest for 2 minutes and repeat.

When you first start, just do 2 circuits. Then after a week or two, add a third circuit, and then after another week or two add a fourth. When you’ve adjusted to that, add additional exercises (feel free to switch out new exercises whenever you like). Gradually shorten the rest period between exercises until you don’t rest at all during the circuit — only between circuits.

Program 4: Crossfit Light

One of my favorite exercise programs is Crossfit, because it’s an all-around program that focuses on your entire body, and all parts of fitness. If you do Crossfit, you’ll be in shape for just about anything, from sports to the military or law enforcement to any physical challenge you can think of.

However, Crossfit is not for beginners. It’s tough. If you’re in decent shape already, you should start Crossfit by doing a modified version of their Workout of the Day (WOD), which is posted daily on the main website. Modified meaning an easier version. After a few months, you should try to progress to the full version of the WOD.

However, complete beginners should start with an even easier version — let’s call it Crossfit Light. There isn’t any such program, but it’s basically modifying the WOD so that beginners can do it without killing themselves. An example of the past week of WODs:

Wednesday

Regular WOD: Push jerk 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 reps (only one repetition, as heavy as you can, rest, then repeat 6 more times)
Light WOD: Push jerk with light dumbells, 10 reps, 3 sets
Thursday

Regular: Walking lunge 100 ft.; 21 Pull-ups; 21 Sit-ups (repeat circuit 5 more times, decreasing number of pullups/situps by 3 each circuit)
Light: Walking lunge 8 steps; 1 or 2 jump pullups, 5-10 situps (repeat circuit 3 times)
Friday

Regular: 21 Hip-Back Extensions; Run 400 meters (repeat circuit 5 more times, decreasing number of hip-back extensions by 3 each circuit)
Light: Supermans 10 reps; jog or walk 100-200 meters (repeat circuit 3 times)
Saturday - Rest

Sunday

Regular: “Helen” - Three rounds for time: Run 400 meters, 1 1/2 pood Kettlebell X 21 swings (or 55 pound dumbbell swing), 12 Pull-ups
Light: Three rounds (take your time) of jog or walk 100-200 meters, 10 dumbbell swings (whatever weight you’re comfortable with), 3-5 jump pullups
Monday

Regular: Deadlift 1-1-1-1-1-1-1 reps (as heavy as you can for 1 rep, rest, repeat 6 more times)
Light: Deadlift with light dumbbells 10 times, repeat 3 sets
So you can see that instead of going for intensity, the light workout is much easier and more relaxed. Again, it’s just for starting out — you’ll want to make it tougher as you progress.

Program 5: Triathlon Light

When I trained for a triathlon last year, I felt fitter than ever before, because I was training for three sports (running, cycling, swimming). My body was getting an amazing all-around workout. However, if you’re a complete beginner, you’ll want to start out lighter than normal.

So you can start with three sports — perhaps walk/running, swimming or rowing, and cycling or the cycling machine. Substitute whatever sport/exercise works better for you.

Start out by doing each sport once a week (15-20 minutes a day to start with), and gradually increase over time until you’re doing each sport twice a week. Then increase the duration of your exercise until you get to 30 minutes a day.

Eventually, try to do the real three triathlon sports, as they have amazing health benefits, especially when you mix them up like this. Be sure to always take at least one rest day a week.
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Posted by Scott Hammond at 07:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (324)