Become a Better Father/Every Day Dad: 3 Mistakes Parents Make

3 Mistakes Parents Need to Avoid

Living priorities is a daily, hourly, and moment by moment choice we all must make.

Have you ever failed as a parent?

Have you ever said or done something, either habitually, or on a one-time-only basis, that resulted in an irreversible parental mistake?

What could you have done differently to avoid that mistake?

How could you identify them before they happened?

Are you currently and habitually making mistakes right now in your parenting style and family culture?

What are the three top relationship killers, pitfalls, traps the best parents fall into, and how can we avoid them?

1. Busyness– how did life get so complicated? Time, scheduling, stress, moods, attitude have created a busy and crazy lifestyle for most every parent in our culture. Burned-out parents seem to be the norm. Moods flare, words are exchanged, attitudes run rampant, and the whole thing seems way over the top on a regular basis. Where do we find relief in peace and tranquility and surrender in such a crazy society and culture? I believe some of the answers lie in the following:

* Learn to stop… work, projects, our minds, our thoughts, our busyness, and our lifestyle.
* Learn the transition to home… leave work at work. Leave anything outside the home… outside the home. Come home and be here now. Be present. Be in the moment. Be available. Be you.
* Learn to say no to many other things… even the good stuff. You cannot do it all… even though you may want to.

2. Distraction–Being self-centered and self obsessed– The sick habit of over-introspection and self-indulgence in an ongoing examination of self and how everything affects me. Being self-centered and self obsessed, could include an exhausting examination of everything that affects me in my life and the second-guessing of everything happening around me. Trying to figure out all of life is a fallacy and learning to surrender and let go and move on is the only sane and safe way to live. Breaking the self habit includes:

* Letting go–surrender, relaxing, moving on, and really focusing on trusting God for all your needs
* Make it about other people– always keep in mind you’re on earth to serve others. And don’t always make it about you. The universe does not rotate around you. It’s really not about you.
* Learn to communicate– learn to listen effectively. Really try to hear what people are telling you through their body language, tone and of course, their words. Learn to express yourself in cogent and concise ways as well.
* Focus on what’s really important– family, spouse, kids, friends, brothers and sisters, parents, community and society. At the end of the day it’s all about relationships. This requires being focused on others.

3. Value Confusion–not prioritizing our relationships–are you an object person or a relationship person? Do you devote too much project time and not enough relationship time with those around you? Failing to stop and decide who you are and who you want to be results in dissonance in living your value system. We must decide individually what’s important to us and live accordingly. It’s a mistake to not devote a great deal of our lives to relationships. After all, you can’t take anything with you when you go. You never see the U-Haul behind the hearse at the funeral. The mistake here is letting life drive you versus you driving life in your own priorities. You are in charge of you. You are accountable for you. The blame game will not work when you’re not living out your own values and priorities. It’s your own darn fault…some possible solutions include:

* having a written plan–goal setting, a personal life and vision statement in writing.
* Getting organized– managing your time, having a day planner, writing down and living your priorities.
* Getting rid of the extra and non-priority–just say no. You’ll never get to some stuff in life. There is not enough time, energy or resources.
* Setting up systems for relationship development– have dates with your kids, wife, and friends. Put them in your day timer. Schedule them up as the priorities they really are.

Living our priorities is a daily, hourly, and moment by moment choice we all must make each day. How we decide the small stuff defines us. What will we do with the resources given to us? Each of us gets just 24 hours each day, and only a certain number of days per lifetime. How well will you use your life units? That is certainly up to you.

What will it be for you?

Are you going to let stress and busyness, distraction and self-centeredness, and value confusion throw you off your plan?

Will you be proactive and take the time, and sharpen your saw, and figure out what’s key for you in life, and then go and just do it?

At the end of the day, it really may be about you, in that you must decide for you. How you live, love and relate to those around you in your life.

We have but one life to live, and logic and love dictate we live it effectively in relationships.

DADS ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES!

3 Mistakes Parents Make

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